Despite your unfortunate elimination from the competition, you couldn’t bring yourself to be upset about it.

You’d built up a strong friendship with Two from the start, seemingly getting along with them. They appreciated that you preferred to take things slow in life, despite the reason being to keep yourself from having a nervous breakdown over inconsequential matters — and your empathetic nature was one that Two hadn’t found in many others.

When Two had read out the votes and quickly realised that you had been the only one to not receive a slice of cake, they were met with a severe dilemma. Sending you away with the previously lost contestants was an idea they immediately tossed away, you had been there to ground them at the worst of times — Two couldn’t imagine not having you within reach at all times…

In a moment of panic, with the rest of your team staring in confusion as their host seemingly blue-screened in the middle of Cake at Stake, Two decided that you’d be staying in the hotel to… ‘help them’ with their hostly duties. Not a single object brought the lie, but kept their thoughts to themselves.

In turn, you’d spent the past few months relaxing in the hotel while the competition went on as usual. However, with everyone preparing for upcoming challenges in their free time, you’d had little interaction with anyone other than your favourite host! Not that you were complaining, the endless time together had led to a blooming relationship between you.

Two had a few concerns that they had yet to voice, though.

It had been a couple of months since you’d become official, and even longer that you’d been friends, but there was a certain shyness to your interactions with them that left Two worrying that you weren’t comfortable with their actions, or the relationship entirely.

They would compliment the way you looked; having received advice from Gaty that people liked hearing verbal affection from their partners, and Two wanted to reciprocate the countless times you had praised them. But it would leave you fidgeting and your face would turn a shade darker than usual.

Or they’d come up behind you, wrapping their arms around your midsection while looking over your shoulder at the book you were reading — only for you to shut the cover and throw out a lazy excuse as you made a swift exit from the room. It left them wondering if you didn’t want their affections in that way… Surely you would tell them, right?

Two could do nothing but brush off the feeling of concern inside them, reassuring themself that it would change as your relationship grew.

Rather, they preferred to focus on the time they could spend with you! Today, they had dragged you away from whatever activity you started that morning and convinced you to help them in baking the cake for the next Cake at Stake’s contestants.

It wasn’t exactly an uncommon activity that you helped them with, it was an easy excuse to hang out and they needed to have a cake ready between every challenge.

So, you stood in the kitchen, idle chatter filled the room as you worked on your own individual ingredients before you had to combine them. You focused on the wet ingredients, melting down the butter, measuring out the milk…

Glancing over at Two as they dramatically retold you the happenings of the last challenge and everything that went wrong, you hadn’t realised that you let yourself get heavy handed with the carton of milk pouring into the measuring cup. Feeling a splash against your foot, you gasped at you noticed the small puddle between your legs. (no, it wasn’t pee i swear)

“Argh, I spilt the milk…” You groaned out, lifting a foot to step out of it.

However, you had apparently begun rapidly losing the ability to think about your actions since you had entered the kitchen, as another step into the milk cost you your balance. With your second foot in the air, your first leg slipped out from under you and you clenched your eyes shut for the oncoming impact with the floor.

A pair of arms grabbed your midsection, albeit a bit harshly and panicked, and steadied you upright against the bench you had been working upon. You let out a sigh, about to thank Two for stopping your fall, when your words caught in your throat.

They leaned some of their weight against you, mere inches away from your face and their body touching yours, their hands yet to leave your sides. Heat rushed up to your face at the thought of your positions, despite knowing the innocence of the situation.

“Are you okay? I didn’t want you to get hurt — there’s no use crying over spilt milk, aha!” Two laughed at their own joke, before noting your silence.

“Er, really though… Are you okay?”

Unable to get the words out of your throat, and feeling like your soul had been reaped from your body, you simply nodded and coughed into your hand. Despite the awkward tension you had caused, Two took your word — er, lack of word, as a good enough answer.

“I’ll grab the mop, just sit tight!” They released you from their hold and rushed out of the room with the promise to not take long.

Once left by yourself, you felt your emotions explode inside of you, whispering, “Did that really just happen? Oh my — then they held me against the bench…”

Your face grew warmer by the second, and the silly grin lit up your mouth, as you found your bouts of giggles to be unstoppable. You held a hand to your mouth, attempting to muffle your joy, and leaned back against the counter as you sunk to the ground.

‘This is so stupid,’ You thought to yourself, using both hands to cover your face through your giggles, ‘I need to compose myself.’

Through your internal battle, you failed to notice a familiar integer entering the room again with their trusty mop. Two stared at you on the floor for a moment, confused but unable to stop the contagious smile as they took in your strange utter happiness.

“Why’re you all giggly now? Did something happen?”

You felt your body freeze as Two caught you in such a vulnerable state, the embarrassment bleeding into your skin, “Oh, uh — you-you’re back?”

They rested the mop against the wall, approaching you to hold out a hand to pull you up. You accepted their offer.

“I, uhm…” Your eyes wandered around everything but Two’s face as you stuttered out an answer, “I was thinking about… How you — y’know, grabbed me to stop me from slipping…”

“Oh! Was that bad — did you not want me to touch you..?” They fiddled their fingers nervously.

“No, no! Hah, I — uhm, I liked it. A lot, I was just a bit… Flustered by it, and didn’t know how to r-react.”

You noticed their eyes widen and their face turning a warmer shade of green as they processed the information. A small smile graced their face, you daresay they appeared almost flustered themself at your confession.

“Aren’t you just… The sweetest thing ever!” If it weren’t for the counter behind you, you were sure that you’d have fallen over by Two’s weight being thrown back on you as their arms returned to your sides — in a hug this time.

The heat returned to your face as they squeezed you as if your very existence was giving them cuteness aggression, and their face was rubbed against the side of yours. Two let out soft noises that weren’t quite giggles, but still carried the same joy within them.

Being caught in their embrace, you felt yourself un-tense after a moment, and melt further into them as they didn’t seem keen on letting you go anytime soon. Your arms lifted to slowly reciprocate the hug, not quite using the same force that Two was, but the love was there nonetheless.

“Sorry that I get a bit, uh, worked up around you…” You murmured to them.

“I’m just glad you weren’t upset with me! I really thought you didn’t like being touched, or being complimented — I was getting a bit worried — but really, you’re as sweet as the icing on my cakes!”

You had half a mind to tell them off for saying something nearly sickening cheesy, but the giddiness of it coming from Two, and being in reference to you? It had your heart beating out of your chest.

“S-Stop, you’re gonna k-kill me —” You managed to get out between huffs of laughter, interrupted by your captor pausing their cheek rubbing to start sprinkling kisses over your face.

With hands moving up to lightly rest on Two’s cheeks as a half-hearted attempt to stop their ministrations, your face scrunched up in embarrassment as you felt yourself growing lightheaded after each time their lips connected with your face.

“Okay, o-okay — what if someone wa-walks in on us?”

They finally relented, if only to keep you conscious as you turned warmer than they’ve ever felt you, “I guess I should clean up that milk already?”

You haven’t been feeling well for a while now, and your partner, Two, knew it. You’d been skipping challenges, going to sleep very late, and not eating nearly enough. Despite how many times your sweet partner had tried to help, you’d rejected it; saying you were fine and you were just really tired.

But one day after a particularly tough challenge, you felt yourself getting upset to a point where you couldn’t hold it in anymore.

And you knew all too well that you couldn’t handle it alone without a sharp object…so you half-stumbled up to Two’s suite in the hotel, your vision already beginning to get blurry from tears, internally cursing yourself at not accepting Two’s help beforehand.

When you got to the door of their suite, your shaky knock on the door prompted a cheerful-sounding, “Coming!” from Two, most likely unaware to the fact that it was their darling in distress. A few soft steps later the door swung open.

At seven feet tall, they towered over you, however despite that they emanated an intense aura of comfort and safety, especially now. They looked like they had just gotten to their room after the challenge; as their waistcoat and dress shirt were unbuttoned, and their signature dark green cape and boater hat were no where to be seen. They had their shoes off as well, revealing socks peppered with small pink cake slices. You’d expect nothing else from your partner.

Their excited and curious expression immediately shifted to one of deep concern and worry at the sight of your teary eyes and your trembling body leaning on the door frame for support.

“Reader…!” They sighed as they pulled you closer to them, keeping an arm around your shoulders so you wouldn’t fall. “Are you ok? What happened…?”

You leaned your head heavily on their shoulder. “Two…I’m so s-sorry I didn’t let you help me…”, you choked out between labored breaths. “I-I didn’t know I was gonna just…b-break today…”

Through your slightly blurry vision you could make out Two shaking their head. “No, no, d-don’t apologize, it’s ok,” they said softly as they glanced back into their hotel suite then quickly back to you. “Just breathe for me, cupcake…”

They held you tightly as you tried to regulate your breathing. After a few moments, all that was left were silent sobs.

They breathed a sigh of relief as they heard you calm down, and pulled away just enough to cup your face in their hands and wipe a tear from your eye.

“We should get you inside, hon.”

You nodded weakly and let them guide you into their room. The lights were dimmed throughout the suite, and there seemed to be some sort of baking show playing on the TV. Despite the room looking simple due to it being in a hotel, Two had definitely still made it their own. They had added gauzy pink curtains to the windows, and the mini-fridge had a few reminders scribbled on sticky notes. The whole place smelled faintly of vanilla.

Two brought you over to the small couch in front of the TV, and quickly put the blanket that was draped over the back of the couch over your shoulders. They knew how comforting things like that were to you.

“I’m going to go make you some tea, ok?” They asked with a small smile, before gently kissing the top of your head and walking over to the small kitchenette located in the corner.

You settled into the couch, pulling up your feet and snuggling into the soft blanket as you patiently waited for them to come back over.

After a few minutes they padded softly back over to you, sitting down beside you on the couch with a small cup of chamomile tea in their hands.

“Do you think you could drink some of this for me?” They questioned gently.

You nodded, pulling your hands out of the blanket to take the teacup from them with shaky hands. They kept theirs out and ready in case you dropped it.

Slowly, you brought the tea to your lips, tasting its earthy and floral flavors in small sips.

Two watched you intently, seeing the tension leave you face and shoulders, and your gaze become softer and less on-edge.

You took a few sips, and then handed the cup back to Two, who placed it down on the coffee table without any questions about why you didn’t drink more.

“Feeling a little better?”

“M-hm…”, you replied as you leaned your head onto their shoulder.

That prompted them to put an arm around your shoulders, holding you close to them. They could tell that you felt exhausted, and they just wanted to let you rest.

Suddenly you spoke up again, quietly and sleepily.

“Two?”

“Yes, darling?”

“I love you…”

They chuckled fondly. “Love you, too, hon.”

Crackfic:

You were sitting in your room GETTING AN ABSOLUTE DUB IN CLASH OF CLANS!

two walked in….

“BITCH.”

Two was jaw dropped

“BITCH YOURSELF”

They gave you the most ‘hoe?!’ Look with thire arms extended

“CLEAN YO ROOM”

you looked around for a moment…yeah shit it’s dirty as hell

“NUH UH”

“sigh…..clean yo dirty room.”

You sighed through ing a chip on the floor.

“First get over here and kiss me on my hot mouth.”

Two looked shocked and confused

“I’m feeling romantical.”

Actual Fic:

You leaned back in your chair bored. You had been scrolling through discord, servers, memes, weird shit. A lot of stuff…

It was dirty and just…gross. Sure you needed to clean it but whatever who cares.

There was a knock on the door. Weird, no one ever bothered you. You swiveled in your chair turning around. But the door was already open.

“Uh. Hi”

It was two.

“…what”

They stood there in silence. The air was thick and uncomfortable.

“Are you ok.”

He showed genuine concern as he looked around your room.

“Listen just let me live my life”

You turned away from them not wanting to talk.

“But you never leave your room…”

They mumbled just barely enough to hear

“I could help you”

You paused at their words not expecting them to actually care. It was weird.

“….sure two.”

You didnt look at them but it was nice to have someone care.

You screamed for them not to take him from you. It only made them laugh. Negan made a comment about wanting to take you, too. Make you his wife and Daryl have to watch him treat you like his. "I'll be back for ya, don't cry," was the last thing Daryl had said to you. It didn't stop your tears, if anything it only made them worse. What if that was the last time he would ever speak with you? The last time you'd ever see his face. What if he ended up like Glenn and Abraham... Or worse?

It felt like months had passed without him, but in reality. It was only about three, maybe four days. Living without him was lonely. Sure as hell a lot colder at night than having his furnace of a body cooped up next to you. When you saw him get off the truck, you nearly collapsed. His eyes looked tired, but they still searched for you. They still widened and looked at you with the same love and adoration as before. Negan was quick to stop the interaction when Daryl blurted your name and the both of you attempted to run for one another.

"Well," his smile, god. You'd give nothing more than to shoot it off his face. "Isn't this just adorable? Don't you think, Lucille?" He chuckled, walking up to you with a curious gaze. "We've got little miss Jane over here, and her man of a Tarzan over there." He spoke with a sigh. "Gross." He snickered, looking back at Daryl while circling around you. Placing his hands on your hips. Watching you flinch and Daryl fight with the people holding him back. "Don't touch 'er!" "Hey now, what did I say? None of that, or else I'll shut," He held his bat up close to your face. "That shit down." He spoke, voice getting lower and more stern with each word. Daryl understood, even if he didn't want to. Looking at you with a gaze that told you everything was going to be all right.

Negan chuckled again, leaning in close to press his nose against the side of your hair. Inhaling deeply, and then sighing. "Damn! Does your woman smell nice. Bet she tastes just as good, if yunno what I mean." He told Daryl with a sly grin. "Don't talk about 'er-" "Do you wanna see her brains on the pavement? Because I sure as hell don't! I've seen too many super hot wives die. No use wasting such a pretty face when she could maybe be yours again." Daryl glared, Negan looking back at you with a sigh and pursed lips. "You should really tame your dog. He's gonna bite someone someday."

After that, you had a sliver of hope. That maybe since they were letting him go on runs with them. That maybe Daryl could figure something out and get away. Maybe you'd wake up one night to Daryl climbing into bed with you. Pulling you close to one another and not saying a word. Just holding each other in silence.

Each passing day grew harder and harder. Each day without him felt like shit. Like it was a reminder that you would be alone. You came into this apocalypse alone. Everyone you ever knew and loved, dead. Then you would die alone. Everyone that you ever knew and loved being just as dead.

But then, it happened.

Everyone else saw him before you had. Hugging and reuniting with their friend. Their family. He didn't linger with anyone too long, though. His main priority was you. It was always you, and would always be. He had to make sure that you were safe. That he knew you were safe. "She's in the house. Up in your room. I think she's reading." Tara told him, and he nodded. Giving a soft thanks before racing off in order to find you. To hold you and never let go.

He crept up the stairs. His body trembling along with his breath. Doing his best to not be too fast and startle you, but the closer he got. The more he couldn't help himself. Finally reaching the door to your guys' room. Reaching out to touch the handle but to his surprise. It turned for him. Watching with cautious and wide eyes as the door opened and he was met with you. His girl. His woman. His wife. Though the two of you weren't official, nor did either of you talk about marriage. He considered you to be his spouse. May as well be since his eyes were only ever on you since they first saw you.

"Daryl," You didn't have time to say anything else. Cut off by Daryl pulling you in for a desperate kiss. He was never good with words, anyways.

The hunter was quick to get his point across too. About how much he missed you. How he wasn't about to let you go anytime soon, either. It didn't take long for him to push you onto the bed once the door was shut, and to have your clothes on the floor along with his own.

"Daryl," you called his name out, over and over like a soft prayer. Hands roaming one another's bodies with desperation. Pulling each other as close as you both could. Hungry mouths worked at either kissing anywhere they could reach or muttering soft nothings to one another.

Daryl was fairly rough with everything at first too. Like he was trying to tell you both that this was real. That he was here and so were you. His hips were fast. Each thrust within you deep and desperate. trying to chase what you both wanted. It was rough and fast, until it wasn't.

A slight worry set within you when his thrusts slowed, finally coming to a hault. His face buried in the crook of your neck. You were about to ask if you did something wrong until you heard the rigid and quiet sob that came from your lover. Frowning while your arms reached out to hold him. One hand on the back of his head, while the other rested on his back. Rubbing with soft motions while shushing him. Peppering the side of his head with kisses.

"Dar', honey, look at me. I'm here, you're back. Please, don't cry," you lulled, your eyes watering at the sound of his cries in your ear. You hated to hear or even see him cry, but you were glad that he did every so often. He was so good at bottling everything up. It scared you a lot of the time.

"Dar', sweetheart, please, look at me. Let me see you," He listened this time. Pulling away from your neck to look down at you. His blue eyes bloodshot. He had a black eye and a busted lip, which only made you frown more. Fingers tracing his face with your eyes. "Oh baby, what'd they do to you." He grunted, turning his face to get you to stop. "I thought I lost you," he muttered, a tear rolling down both of your faces this time. Your own lip quivering at his words. Everything finally setting in with both of you. "I thought I lost you too, Dixon." He closed his eyes, resting his forehead against your own.

"Did they touch you?" You shook your head, hands still holding the sides of his face. "No, think ya scared them too much," Daryl chuckled lightly at that. Opening his eyes to look at you again. "Yeah, maybe."

It was silent again. The both of you holding onto one another while staring back at each other. "I love you," you couldn't help but smile at his words. Running your fingers through his hair. Watching his eyes flutter shut and reluctantly open once more. You could easily put him to sleep by just playing with his hair. "I know you do, you have a way of telling me with your actions, always have. I love you too, mountain man." He rolled his eyes at the nickname and you chuckled. "I don't tell ya it enough, I love you. Really do. That's all I thought 'bout, too. That I don't tell ya it enough." He muttered, and you sighed. Resting your hands on his shoulders, rubbing them slightly. "Daryl, I told you. You say it without saying it. I know you do." He sighed with a nod, smiling faintly as you leant up to kiss the side of his mouth. Wanting to continue what the both of you started moments prior, but he wasn't done with his tangent. You wouldn't stop him though, you'd let him open up anytime he wanted to.

"All I could think about in there was you. If I'd see ya again. Hear ya," he spoke. "I was scared he'd.." He paused, breathing a bit heavily for a second as he thought. "Scared he'd take ya from me." "Dar', I'd go out fighting before I let him do anything to me." He chuckled, reaching up to brush some hair from your forehead. "That's what I was worried 'bout. If I lost you," "but you didn't, and I'm here. You're here. We're safe." "For now." You didn't say anything more after that. Only wrapping an arm around the back of his neck while staring up at him.

"I love you," he muttered again, and you nodded, leaning up to brush your lips against his. "I love you too, Daryl." He closed the gap between the both of you rather quick. Humming lowly into the kiss while rolling his hips against yours. Still nestled inside you.

It wasn't long before he was rolling his hips. Rolls turning into thrusts. He didn't move fast and rough like before, though. He took his time. Letting you know how much he loved and cared about you with his actions, again. His hand coming between the both of you to run his fingers between your folds. Your soft noises you released into his mouth were enough for him to continue. Lips traveling down to your neck. Leaving soft kisses and then love marks and bites. All while his fingers rubbed over your clit. Smirking softly as your hips bucked and rolled in order to chase your high, but Daryl didn't let you. No, not at first. He was dragging this out as long as he could.

"Wanna cum with ya," he muttered, kissing your collar bone with a groan. "Then do it," a growl left his throat at your words. Hips finally picking up to the speed the both of you were wanting. His finger rubbing a bit rougher on your bud. Not too harsh, but just enough it had your back arching off the bed. Hands grasping at him to ground yourself. One hand Tangling in his hair while the other clawed at his back. His lips came crashing on yours. Muffling the noises the both of you made as your bodies met their high.

You were the first to go, Daryl following right after. He came inside of you, but you didn't care. Not right now, at least. That was a problem to deal with later. Right now it was all about you and him. Holding each other after your highs became lows and you were both back on earth.

He pulled out, slowly. Doing his best not to hurt you, or himself in the overstimulated discomfort you were both in. "Wow," he looked at you with a brow raised as he used a Kleenex to wipe you both up. "I don't think we've fucked that hard in a while," you chuckled, and he chuckled back. Tossing the napkin into the bin before crawling back over you. A hand cupping the side of your face with a hum. "Ya tellin' me I only fuck good when one's of us nearly dies?" He asked, pressing a kiss to your lips. You shook your head, rubbing at his chest. "No, 'course not, we've just been..." "Busy?" You nodded, kissing him again. "Yeah," he sighed.

He finally laid next to you after tugging his shirt back on. Letting you pull your own and your underwear back on as well. Daryl kept the shirt on so no one would see his scars beside you. You were mostly dressed so if anything happened no one would see you nude. A precaution to keep both your and Daryl's minds easy.

- god knows how two came across you. whether you’re an algebralien or just another object, chances are they came actoss you when searching for a planet to reside in after receiving their powers.

- you were alone, and desperate for someone to depend on – and two was just trying to find somewhere to belong.

- they stumbled upon you, and you both just sort of clicked!

- if they happened to stumble onto earth for the first time in your line of sight, you end up staring at them like,,, did they just teleport here, or..?

A flash of unnatural light blinded you from the corner of your eye, simultaneously leaving you to cover your spotty vision while trying to catch a glimpse of the unknown cause of such a phenomenon.

"Oh! Uh, sorry, I didn't see you there." A unfamiliar voice called out from a short distance next to you.

Blinking your vision back as quickly as you could, an odd green figure stood staring back at you. You immediately concluded that this was the weirdest object you'd ever come across.

"Did... Did you just fall from the sky like a meteor or something?"

They let out a surprised chortle at your odd exclamation, "No, I-... I would say its more a 'teleportation' than anything like that..."

"You can teleport?" You excitedly shouted.

- two became so smug at your enthusiasm towards their powers, two probably spent the next hour showing off while you fawned over how 'cool' they were.

- you also quickly learned that they weren't a freaky-looking object at all — rather an alien (two insisted that they were an 'algebralien', but that was too lengthy, so you stuck with calling them an alien).

- they told you about their plans for a competition to win their powers, which you were immediately down for.

- well, they found their first contestant... where were they supposed to get more?

- you both set off in search of more contestants, after you mentioned that there were objects all over goiky that they could ask.

- cue the montage of being rejected by all different objects, including stumbling across davidland and two grabbing you to absolutely high tail it out of there once the davids get annoyed at you.

- during this time together, however, you both realise how much you’ve changed each others lives.

- you’ve now got someone to annoy for life, and two has an added responsibility!

- just kidding — two spent so long trying to change themself to fit in with others, but the way you attached yourself to them immediately? all because two was simply being themself?

- and for you, it was nice to have someone looking over you. letting you get yourself into trouble, but always being there to rescue you when things were taken too far.

- you do spend a lot of your time doing stupid things and trying to get on two’s nerves, though.

Taking a break from searching for their competition, Two conjured up a temporary little house for the both of you.

It was more of a standalone apartment, but it was far nicer than anywhere you’ve ever stayed before, so you weren’t going to complain.

Considering there wasn’t much else to do on days like these, you took to pestering Two.

Peeking around the corner of the wall separating you from the kitchen, you eyed the familiar green algebralien humming a tune to themself. They held a bowl in one hand, and seemed rather focused on mixing the ingredients in said bowl with a whisk in the other.

“Hey, Twosie….”

Was only the first signal that Two needed to know they needed to keep their guard up.

“What are you planning in that head of yours?” They squinted at you, holding their bowl close to them.

“What? I just wanted to see if you’d like any help with making, uh…”

“Cake. I’m making a cake…”

Their clear distrust had you sending a playful glare back their way, “Is it so bad that I want to spend time with my favourite alien?”

You knew you were playing dirty with that line. But Two’s face immediately lit up at your sugar-coated phrasing, their suspicions melting away.

“Well… When you put it that way… I suppose you could keep mixing for me while I get the oven ready?”

You felt your plans coming altogether.

With a happy hum, you took the bowl from their hands as they turned their back to you and switched their focus on grabbing a cake pan from a nearby cupboard.

A glance to the counter next to you confirmed your knowledge that the ingredients that Two used hadn’t been put away yet. That the flour hadn’t been put away yet.

Slowly placing the bowl down, trying to avoid alerting Two of your movements due to the clinking of the ceramic, you reached towards the bag of flour. Grabbing a handful of the white starch, you turned towards Two’s back.

“Uh, hey, Two…”

Their sweet smile at the mention of their name almost gave way to a feeling of guilt. Almost.

The moment their body was turned towards you, your palms were brought up to your face as you blew the pile of flour at them — immediately covering them in a thin layer of white powder.

You felt yourself turning red as you struggled to hold in your laughter, releasing a few snorts as you stared at their exasperated, powdery face. It was short-lived, however, as you felt a handful of flour land on your head as Two released the amount they had magicked above you.

It was your turn to gasp, as you turned around to blindly grab at another ingredient to throw back at Two’s smug face.

It was safe to say that the kitchen did not survive the massacre. But the cake, under Two’s intense protection, turned out great!

- at some point, before raining on bfb's parade, two fully realises that they couldn't trust your devious nature with such power on the off chance that you did win the competition.

- they also feel somewhat responsible for the mischief little ol' you gets into, considering they've practically become your 'trusted adult'.

- its a hard conversation they have with you, one that begins with a lot of pouting and almost ends with tears ("it's not fair! just because you don't think i can be responsible, you aren't letting me compete?" well, yes... you are like, 13 years old.)

- all is forgiven though, when two offers the position of their assistant/co-host, and you JUMP at the opportunity.

- however it happens, two comes across four’s bfb! and, oh, wasn’t that just the perfect group of contestants for their OWN competition?

- you’re kind of watching the whole spiel of two convincing objects to join their show instead like, “i don’t know whats happening, but i think its going well!”

- later on, you absolutely interrogated two about these new number-aliens that you’d never seen before. four? x? do you know them, two?

- two didn’t really know how it was going to play out, so they had you waiting on the sidelines for a while until they felt that the competition was in the clear and running smoothly.

- when you’re finally introduced as two’s lil’ assistant?

- “…Why do you have a kid, Two?”

- the pouting begins again, a lot of the contestants didn’t take you seriously at first.

- it didn’t help the contestants in warming up to two either lol

- you were a bit horrified when everyone started beating two up after the failure of the first challenge.

- two had to comfort you for the rest of the day after you started saying you didn’t want to go through with the competition if everyone was going to be mean ;;

- between every competition, you help two make the cakes for cake at stake!… even if they need to help you most of the time.

- …you may also be the number one suspect each time an inedible cake has to be given out…

- usually you’ve ruined the cake on purpose. like hiding rocks in every slice, or putting chilli oil in the icing.

- but if you actually tried making a decent cake, only for it to turn out poorly, and a contestant tries making a comment on how ‘disappointing’ the cake is?

- oh no… they’ve mysteriously been given a disadvantage for the next challenge… how did that happen, two?

- as happy-go-lucky and oblivious as they seem, two cares a LOT about your emotional state.

- i wouldn’t say that they’d deliberately hurt someone in order to protect you, whether emotionally or physically, but they would definitely pull some strings in trying to cheer you up.

- being their assistant and all, obviously you’d give your ideas for challenges and such.

- while two does have practically limitless power, they have to modify some of your ideas to make them more practical.

- no, we aren’t setting everyone on fire and making them sword fight on the sun.

- they still take a lot of your inputs into consideration, though!

- in episode 6, where the contestants have to make a dish for two (and yourself) to eat, oh boy.

- you were so excited, free food? AND you get to judge it? possibly the best challenge yet, in your opinion.

- except a couple of the resulting dishes were… questionable.

- you attempt to eat every single one anyways. including the very much alive fish that two immediately made you spit out, and the bowl of rocky’s vomit that both you and two spent the rest of the night feeling horribly sick about.

- a constant dynamic between you and two is the classic, “what do you have in your mouth?” “[insert dangerous, inedible thing]” “NO– PUT THAT DOWN.”

- two has definitely put some research into what is or isn’t dangerous for most objects to digest.

- they obviously aren’t the most knowledgeable on object culture/living, so you might need to step in at times.

- when building the hotel, you had to give a lot of tips for making it more comfortable – no, two, don’t lock people in their rooms between challenges…

- the choice is ultimately yours, but if you choose to share a room with two, they’ll be thrilled!

- don’t expect them to stay up all night playing games, however. they get a bit strict with ensuring you get enough sleep at night — you need to be at your best to be a successful cohost!

- they do give in, at times, if you entice them with cookies and a pillow fort.

- i can’t imagine they’d be able to stay up very late themselves though, definitely an early sleeper and an early riser.

- they aren’t afraid to sneak you a glass of their personal chef’s very best bed-time milk if you get too rowdy at night!

- like prior stated, i’d imagine them to get up early everyday to prepare for cake at stake and that day’s challenge.

- …which means they’d encourage you to do the same. there’s only so much time in the day!

- if you just grumble and turn your back to them, they aren’t afraid to grab you from underneath the covers and throw you like a sack of potatoes over their shoulder.

- they consider that you’re usually in a better mood for the day if you’ve eaten something in the morning, so two likes to make a pitstop by the kitchen to grab cereal or a sandwich for you.

- hopefully you’ve woken up a bit more by the time you’ve made it to the kitchen and are thrown into a seat.

- the first few times after discovering ‘breakfast’, they attempt to give you cake every day. they quickly learn that an early morning sugar rush is not nutritional and often leads to stomachaches later in the day…

- the concept of dessert before bed, however? they are ALL for that.

- any leftover cake from cake at stake doesn’t last for long in the fridge.

- overall, two does try when it comes to looking after you, even if they aren’t used to being the one supervising another person.

- i’m not going to go into the more recent episodes with one, but i am fully considering making another post to go deeper in the angst/comfort of this duo following season 5b :p