And now, time for Hemisi being the most relatable person in this soap opera
Hemisi found herself sitting outside in the evening light.
Her people were celebrating a festival. Sheâd been there as long as she could⌠and she enjoyed seeing them happy. But it just⌠was exhausting, she supposed. Or⌠she didnât know. She just didnât know.
It seemed like her life just went in wretched cycles. As a woman, she understood that her body affected that, but it just⌠had never been this bad. Each slump felt steadily worse, each rebound steadily less helpful. For the most part, she felt like she was plateaued, lingering between contentment and despair, somewhat satisfied with her course in life one moment and then in tears about it a week later.
Was this what it meant to live, she wondered? Sheâd barely scraped into adulthood when the war had broken out, and sheâd lost both her parents, and therefore her guides in all of this. She couldnât ask her mother if this was normal, couldnât askâŚ
Well. Never mind him. He wasnât worth asking anything to anyway.
Sheâd learned to live with the ache, the emptiness that grief would bring sometimes. Sheâd grown to realize that it would never truly go away, simply become bearable. But sometimes life itself didnât even seem bearable, and she wasnât sure how to deal with that, what that even meant.
Was it a reflection on her? Was she simply too weak to deal with all the suffering sheâd been given to carry? She knew the goddess was supposed to be looking out for everyone, that Din herself had blessed Hemisi with her sacred gift. Technically, all creation was under the care of Farore. Hylia looked after Hyrule, so Hemisi supposed it wasnât worth asking for her help. But the other threeâŚ
Was her faith too weak? Was that why she couldnât stand to live sometimes? Was that why temptations hit her like a club, why exhaustion pulled at her despite all the reasons she had to be happy?
She remembered when she was younger, her mother would sometimes point out that whenever she felt like she wasnât being treated fairly, or that her life was going poorly, she should remember those who had it worse. At the time, as a princess of the Gerudo, that was just about everybody. Sheâd been loved, spoiled even. Looking back, she was probably a pretty rotten kid, she thought a little sadly.
She was still blessed. She knew that. Sheâd made friends since the war, had helped her people rebuild, was able to see the fruits of her labor, had made an immeasurable difference in othersâ lives.
Yet here she was, sitting alone, tired and sad and lonely.
Lonely. As if she didnât have friends who cared about her. Lonely. As if her entire people wouldnât move the world for her.
It was pathetic. It was frustrating.
She was thirty years old now. Sheâd nearly been alive longer without her family than with them. She was unmarried, with no prospects, with little desire given how men could be.
But there was Link.
Hemisi rolled her eyes. This was stupid. This was hormones and she knew it. But why did they have to destroy her mind and heart so badly? Why did she feel so cold and alone when she was surrounded by warmth and love?
Fuck hormones, she thought irritably.
She wondered if others felt this way. Not just women, but men as well â if part of life was just simply falling over and over and over but getting back up every time. She wondered if it was normal to feel like a failure, to feel like oneâs life had just become so stagnant in every way imaginable, no change in desire, faith, love, accomplishments, anything. She wondered if falling back down nearly the instant one got back up was how it was supposed to be.
Was this normal?
She wished she could ask someone. But she couldnât burden her people, and she wouldnât worry her friends.
She missed her mother. She missed her⌠she missedâŚ
She missed her brother. She wondered what Merovar would be like if he were still alive. She wondered what kind of king he would be. She bet he would have been a good one. He was always closer to their mother than she had been, and their mother was very levelheaded. Sheâd been an excellent chief.
Then she shook her head, knowing there was no point in pondering it. Sighing, Hemisi closed her eyes, trying to pray and failing. So she just laid down on the roof, staring up at the dusky sky, watching the last edges of pink bleed into the horizon as dark blue overtook the world.
