Dear past mariel,  

You are growing still and have much to learn

talk to your mother more so she actually knows you

talk to your sister more so she understands why you're worried, maybe she will come back home

soon you will hurt less and soon you will love more but for now look around and learn what makes you feel and what makes you cringe, and dont let our reflection make the list of the latter, things will get better and the sun will get brighter 

youre terrified of change but it will soon eat you alive to stay alone all one color keep moving and keep crying when you lose what matters, its going to continue to happen your whole life, and sometimes it will be for the best even if it feels like the worst

keep writing. pet your dogs more. dont listen to boys. 

I love you, 

174: Do you have any siblings?

i have a brother and sister

OMG BEN

B: Best Day Of My Life - American Authors

E: Everybody Talks - Neon Trees

N: Nine In The Afternoon - Panic! at the Disco

J: Junk Of The Heart - The Kooks

A: All These Things That I've Done - The Killers

M: Myth - Beach House

I: It's Time - Imagine Dragons

N: No Waves - FIDLAIR