#twentywhatever

Hindsight is twenty-twenty, but there are few people who would argue that I wasn't given every opportunity to NOT be where I am today. 

Let's be clear, based on my health, housing situation, and credit score, I'm doing better than 80% of the worlds population. Throw in my lack of school debt and we can toss me ahead of all the twenty-somethings graduating with crippling student loans in the U.S. But I could have been even better.

Before you jump to conclusions and roll your eyes over another white girl from America complaining about how the life advertised to her in the media wasn't delivered to her on a silver platter, rest assured that I'm not mad at what life didn't do for me or the sense of despair that just can't be fixed by X number of 'Likes' on Instagram.

I'm mad at me. 

I'm mad at myself for expecting life to work out without effort and for finding a sense of accomplishment in watching an entire season of Suits in two days. I'm disappointed in myself for letting the 14 year old version of me who had some serious ambitions that came along with her head-gear and two permanent retainers grown into someone she wouldn't have wanted to be.

Every single time. They need to put up scales.