#twdf

Daryl and I had our coffee together, and shared plenty more kisses, before he had to go relieve the overnight person from watch. I tried to return his vest to him, but he insisted on me wearing it for the day. Wanted me to “show these pricks what’s up” and “it looked better on me, so I should be the one wearing it anyway.” After he went and got changed, I met him at the front door, brushing his dark hair out of his eyes and fixing it so it looked a little less crazy.

“Gonna be hard bein’ away from ya all day after that,” Daryl said as he snaked his arms around my waist. I tugged him by the collar of his button-up and pulled him in for another kiss, this one a bit longer than the others.

“Will that hold you over ’til later?” I asked, dropping my eyes to the floor and blushing heavily. With the amount of time I’d spent blushing since I first walked through the front gates months ago, my cheeks might as well have just permanently stayed pink. He gave me another few soft, quick pecks before pulling me close for a hug.

“Now it will,” he replied. I couldn’t see his face, but I could hear the smile in his voice.

“Try not to miss me too much,” I joked, giving him a flirtatious wink as he went out the door. He should’ve been the one saying that to me. I was already aching to be back in his arms.

There was an extra pep in my step as I bounded upstairs to get dressed. Before my series of very fortunate events, I planned on just wearing a regular pair of shorts and a t-shirt with Daryl’s jacket. But now, especially knowing he had some kind of surprise planned for later, I decided to wear the beautiful sundress he’d gotten me all those weeks ago, back when we hardly knew each other. I put his vest over top of it and looked at myself in the mirror. I was glowing, the smile on my face stretching from ear to ear. I was a giggling mess as I went back downstairs, taking some deep breaths to regain my composure before stepping outside.

The leaves had almost fully changed colors now, beautiful shades of red and orange creating a stunning visual, the branches swaying in the gentle breeze. The sun had almost completely peaked over the horizon, and there were hardly any clouds in the sky. Lights were starting to come on in people’s homes as everyone began to awaken and get ready for the day. Alexandria was like a painting.

I promised Aaron I’d stop by and help him practice walking before spending my day in the infirmary. My plan was to hang out in there all day, and I’d let everyone know to just stop by if they needed anything. And I of course encouraged my friends to come by if they wanted to chat. I softly knocked on the front door, hoping they were awake and I wasn’t disturbing anyone’s sleep. After a few moments, Aaron answered the door, the scent of whatever he or Eric had been cooking wafting out.

“Mornin’,” I greeted in a sing-song voice.

“Well you’re awfully cheery this morning,” Aaron acknowledged, “I’m ready when you are. Figured we could walk circles around the community for a bit if that’s good with you.”

“Actually, could we maybe…go to the infirmary?’ I asked, gesturing to it over my shoulder.

“Uh, yeah, sure,” Aaron replied, looking puzzled, “do you need to check something?” I shook my head.

“No. I, umm, I need to talk to you. We can walk after, I promise,” I explained, practically stumbling over my words. My pink cheeks were quickly turning red. His eyes wandered down and grew wide when he realized what I was wearing, and a big, silly smile spread across his face.

“Ok, yeah. Yeah, we can go,” he agreed. He put his shoe on his good foot and came outside, taking my arm to balance as he closed the door behind him.

Once we got to the infirmary, I shut and locked the door. Everyone knew that when the door was locked, it meant I was with someone & to come back later. Y’know, doctor-patient confidentiality and all that.

“So I think I have…an idea as to what you wanna talk about, but what is it?” Aaron asked. I laid down on one of the infirmary tables, my arms folded across my stomach, and Aaron took a seat on the other one.

“It finally happened,” I said, unable to suppress the giggles any longer and gently kicking my feet on the table, “he asked if he could kiss me.” I could see Aaron’s goofy grin in my peripheral.

“And what did you say?” he asked, joy slipping into his voice. He knew damn well what the answer was.

“Dude, what do you think I said?” I responded, biting my lip to prevent myself from squealing with joy.

“Aah, that’s awesome!” he gushed, “I’m so happy for you! How was it?”

“Aaron, it was like a dream,” I said, staring up at the ceiling and smiling big again. I covered my face with my hands, turning blood red as I recollected the events of that morning. “I’ve been waiting for him to ask for weeks. My knees got so weak, I nearly collapsed. God it was…it was amazing. It was electric, it was perfect.”

“So would you say you two are official?” he asked.

“We didn’t talk about that. He’s supposed to be surprising me with something later.” I took my hands off my face and let my arms fall beside me, hanging off the sides of the table. “Maybe he’ll ask me then.”

“You two are joined at the hip,” Aaron said, “you’ve been practically dating for weeks now. He’d be silly not to.”

“I don’t know. He doesn’t seem like the type that’s into labels,” I sighed.

“Doesn’t matter. If he wants to be exclusive with you, he needs to tell you,” Aaron assured. The brotherly tone he used reminded of talking with my own brothers, and it warmed my heart.

“Yeah, you’re right. Oh my god, wait, I have more!” I exclaimed, throwing myself forward and sitting up on the table, folding my legs to the side. I brushed a hand through my hair to fix the frizzy mess. “So I have these pictures in my notebook. Most of them are of me with my family and friends, except for this one, which is a picture of me from a Renaissance festival in this beautiful blue gown. I look stunning in it, I won’t lie. Anyway, I showed them to Daryl weeks ago, and he dropped them all over the floor before giving them back to me. Well turns out, that was a clever little plan he concocted to steal the photo of me, and he’s been carrying it around in his vest this whole time.” I buried my face in my hands again, and adoration, joy, and giddiness swelled in my chest. It was so cute, it almost made me sick. “He fucking takes a picture of me out on the road with him!”

“Oh he’s in love with you,” Aaron gushed, that big, goofy smile returning to his face, “a hundred percent.”

“I think we’re getting a little ahead of ourselves now,” I said, “if he is, I don’t think he’s going to reveal that right away.”

Aaron and I took a few long, slow laps around the community, him using my shoulder or arm to balance himself as he walked. He’d been making great progress in terms of being able to walk on his prosthetic. He was still using the cane a lot of the time but had been practicing walking around his house without it. I was proud of him, both for his determination and the progress he was making.

After I got Aaron home, I spent the day in the infirmary. Rick came by at one point, and while he didn’t make a comment about me wearing Daryl’s vest, I knew he saw it based on the face he made. Other than a few people coming in, I was mostly doing some writing and rummaging through some old stuff I’d found that I somehow missed during my initial deep clean weeks ago. And to my surprise, I found a white coat tucked away in an old bin. It was blank, with no name stitched above the pocket. I was going to have to take it home and customize it. I never received my long white coat, so to find one filled me with an excitement that I couldn’t put into words.

After a long period of my head buried in my notebook, I looked out the window. The sun was starting to go down, and since I told everyone that I would be available until it started to get dark, I started to pack up my backpack. As I slung it over my shoulder, the rusty door creaked open, and Rosita came skipping in.

“Hi,” she greeted, “I don’t need anything. I just wanted to say hey. Are you going home now?”

“Hey girly,” I replied, “yeah, I was going to. If you want to stay and chat for a bit, I’m down.”

“No, it’s ok. I was going to go home anyway. I just wanted to stop by for a moment.” Her eyes wandered down to Daryl’s vest, and she lit up. “Umm, hey Vector…what’s that you’re wearing?” she asked, gesturing to my attire.

“What does it look like I’m wearing?” I sassed, biting the inside of my lower lip to contain my giddiness.

“Do you have an update to share?” she inquired.

“Maybe.” I let out a series of soft giggles and averted my eyes from hers as I started blushing. “This morning, he, umm, asked if he could kiss me,”

“Aah!” Rosita squealed, running over and throwing her arms around me for a hug, “finally! How did he do it? Tell me everything!”

In order for the context of the kiss to make sense, I had to explain the question I initially asked Daryl, and that would require explaining what happened a few days ago, which I didn’t want to get into. “He just asked me this morning. I got up before him, I was drinking coffee downstairs, he came down, and he asked. And holy shit, it was fucking magical.”

“Took him long enough,” she said, “I’m happy for you, dude. That’s so exciting!”

“Thanks.” I bounced my leg anxiously and looked past her to the door for a moment before looking back at her. “Could you do me a favor? Can you go see if Daryl’s home?” I requested, “he told me to not get home before he did.”

“Why’d he say that?”

“He has a surprise of some kind. Told me not to get home before him so I wouldn’t ruin it.”

“Like a…like a bedroom surprise?” she teased. It was like she was more excited for me to sleep with Daryl than I was. Rosita wasn’t aware of my history, so I couldn’t blame her for assuming that was the direction tonight could be going in. But I knew it wasn’t, and that’s exactly how I wanted it.

“Rosita, please,” I sighed, “could you just go check?”

“Ok ok, fine,” she said, holding her hands in the air as she walked over to and out the door.

I tapped my foot on the ground anxiously. The minutes she was gone felt like hours. She threw the door open when she returned, causing it to slam into the wall and startle me.

“He’s back,” she explained, and I let out a sigh that was both one of relief and nervous energy.

“Alright, I guess I’ll go home now,” I sighed, grabbing my bag once again and slinging it over my shoulders, taking the white coat I’d found and doing the same.

“You’ll have to tell me what happens,” she requested as she led us to the infirmary door and opened it for me.

“I don’t know why I’m so nervous,” I said, discreetly scratching at the side of my thumb with my index finger. Rosita stopped me and stood in front of me, putting her hands on my shoulders.

“You’re gonna be fine,” she reassured, giving me another hug, “you got this.”

“Thanks. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

I rubbed my arms as I walked back home, the cool October air nipping at my skin as the sun continued to set. Porch lights were coming on, and people were gathering in their homes for dinner. The door was unlocked, as it usually was, and I kicked my boots off and set my bag on the ground next to me.

“Hey Daryl, come look what I found,” I called out, taking his vest off and resting it on top of my backpack. I slipped the white coat on, the familiar feeling of that cotton-polyester blend on my skin soothing my anxiety like a blanket of comfort. It was a bit big on me, but not too bad. Better than it being too small, I suppose. The sleeves were a little long, and it hugged my body just a hair, which I was happy with. Happy tears welled in my eyes as I started to get emotional. Since the world had fallen before I completed my residency, I didn’t think I would see the day I got my long white coat. I just wished my family had been there to see me. Daryl came out from around the corner upstairs, probably from in his room.

“Well, look at that.” He wrapped his arms around my waist and picked me up, bringing me to eye-level and kissing me like it had been months since we’d seen each other, “ya became a princess after all."

It took a moment for me to understand what he was talking about, but then it clicked. The story about what made me first want to become a doctor, with the lady in the floral dress and the white coat who saved my brother’s life, who little 3-year-old me asked if she was a princess, and she said yes…I’d become the princess little me had dreamed of being.

“Well hello to you too,” I greeted, blushing and kicking my feet.

“How was ya day, sunshine?” he asked, giving me a kiss on the cheek.

“Not bad. Helped Aaron with his walking, saw some people,” I explained. I ran my fingers up the back of his neck and into his hair, scratching lightly at his scalp. “How was yours?”

“Borin’ as hell, which I guess is good. Coulda been worse. Been thinkin’ ‘bout ya all day. Was excited to get back.”

“Likewise.”

“Now c’mon, got something to show ya,” Daryl said as he set me back down, “g’on out back. I’ll be there in a sec.”

I took off my white coat and tossed it onto my backpack. I couldn’t be bothered to put my boots back on. I skipped out the front door and around the side of the house, the soft grass tickling my ankles. In all my time here, I’d never actually spent any time in the backyard. I preferred to be around Daryl or my friends, but when I did have alone time, I liked to stay in bed. After not having a bed for a year and a half, I wasn’t taking the one that I finally got for granted.

The backyard didn’t have anything in it, just a stretch of grass that led to some small trees. My blanket was laid out on the ground, and there was something small in the center. As I approached it, I realized that the small item was a glass mason jar filled with daisies.

I for sure thought my heart was going to explode.

I sat down on the blanket and took the jar in my hand, tapping my fingers on the glass. I caressed the soft petals with my fingers, careful not to tug on them so I didn’t pull them off on accident. I brought the jar to my nose and breathed in deeply, taking in the comforting scent the little flowers emitted. The scent of daisies was one of my favorites. A few minutes later, Daryl came around the side of the house and joined me on the blanket.

“Ya like ‘em?” he asked as he sat down next to me, scooting closer to close the space between us.

“Are you kidding? I love them,” I gushed, “this is so sweet of you.”

“Got somethin’ else for ya too,” he said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out some pieces of cloth, “put ya hands out.”

I looked at him, confused, but did as he instructed, setting the jar down and putting my hands out in front of me. He took one of the pieces and slipped it over my hand onto my wrist, then did the same with the other. They were little wristbands, made out of one of Daryl’s old bandanas that I often saw him use when he would work on his bike.

“Had Carol make ‘em,” he explained as he adjusted the one on my right wrist, “now ya don’t gotta look at ‘em all the time.”

He had wristbands made for me, out of one of his own bandanas, so that I wouldn’t have to look at my scars all day. That had to be the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me. In an instant, I was overcome with emotion, and I buried my face in my hands and started crying.

“Hey, are ya ok? Didn’t mean to make ya cry,” he soothed. He snaked an arm around my back and rested his hand on my hip, kissing me on the cheek.

“They’re happy tears,” I assured, taking off my glasses and rubbing my eyes with my fists, “it’s just so sweet, I’m so overwhelmed, but with happy feelings. Thank you. I love them. Seriously Daryl, you're incredible.” I wiped my cheeks with my hands, the tears still flowing freely, laughing softly. “God, I’m such a crybaby.”

“Just got a lotta emotions,” Daryl said as he used his sleeve to wipe tears from my cheek, “ain’t nothin’ wrong with that.”

A lightbulb flickered on in my head, and I had an idea. “I actually have something for you too,” I said before slipping my glasses back on. I gave him a kiss on the cheek before skipping back inside, grabbing my notebook and coming back to join him on the blanket.

“A few weeks ago, you asked if you could read something of mine. Well, this is why I never let you read anything,” I explained as I flipped through to find the page I was looking for, “practically everything before I arrived here is about…what happened. Everything from the last couple of months…is mostly about you.” It had gotten dark at this point, and while I hoped the lights inside would be enough for him to see, I hoped it was dark enough to conceal my flushed cheeks.

“Ya write ‘bout me that much?” he wondered.

“I’ve been writing about you since the day I got here. If I showed you how much there actually is about you in here, you might laugh at me,” I replied, continuing to rifle through the pages to find the exact one I was looking for. If I had thought of it ahead of time, I would’ve bookmarked it for easier access. But allowing Daryl to read a piece of my work about him was more of a last-minute decision.

“Nah, it’s cute,” he admired. I could see him watching me in my peripheral, meticulously eyeing every move I made.

“Here,” I said, holding it out to him, “I picked something for you to read.” He took my notebook, brushing his hand against mine as he did. “It’s a bit of a long one, but I think you’ll like it.”

I don’t think he’d ever say it, but I knew based on the look on his face that he was excited to finally be getting a peek at this notebook I spent so much of my time buried in. I watched his eyes scan over every word, the anxiety in the pit of my stomach beginning to make its way up the further he got.

Hi everyone,

So I made it to this community called Alexandria, and I met this guy. His name is Daryl, and I like him. A lot. Here's why I know you all would like him too.

Mom: He makes me happy, Mom. Like really happy. Like the way I imagine Dad made you feel. You would see him, lean over to me, and tell me you can see the sunshine radiating off him. You'd welcome him into the family with open arms. You'd be impressed with his knowledge of the local flora and show him your garden. You always loved showing people your garden. You'd offer to make him a few day's worth of food, and despite his protests, you'd do it anyway. "Everyone deserves a good home-cooked meal," you'd always say. You never let anyone leave the house without food.

Dad: Daryl is everything you taught my brothers a man should be--a protector, a confidant, a friend, a lover, and a good example. He's kind, compassionate, and sticks up for the little guy. He's a shoulder to cry on when you need one. Daryl's respectful, caring, loyal, and such a sweet soul. He claims not to have a way with words, but that doesn't matter because his actions speak for him. He doesn't care about things like what you look like or who you love. He just cares about whether or not you're a good person. He's truly one of the most stand-up people I've ever met. I hope you're out there Dad. I want you to meet him.

Preston: Being the oldest and the most protective of me, I know you'd have your reservations at first, but those would fade quickly. After your big-brother interrogation, you'd fall in love with him too. Sure, you'd let him know that if he ever hurt me, he'd have to deal with your wrath, but that's not something you'd have to worry about, and you'd know that. You'd see how happy he makes me and how well he treats me, and you would know I was safe. You always trusted my judge of character, so you'd know if I was bringing him around you, he'd have to be a good one.

Jay: Oh Jay, you and Daryl would be the best of friends. You'd bond over outdoor activities, maybe even go camping together. You'd have a drink together and take hunting trips and talk while you gutted your kills. Maybe get a little too drunk and share things you'd otherwise not. You had a habit of oversharing when you were drunk. Like Preston, you'd have to interrogate him a little, but you'd be nothing short of impressed. His sense of humor is very similar to yours, and I know you'd love that. You admired strong morals, and while the world has gone to shit, his moral compass hasn't. If you're out there Jay, maybe you'll get to meet him.

Eli: I know it would take you longer to warm up, being the shy one between the four of us. Once you did, you'd adore Daryl. You'd look up to him, see him like a brother. You were always about getting to know people on a deeper level, you sensitive soul, so you'd wanna get to know him and his interests. You'd show him your music and ask him to be your concert buddy when I couldn't go. Your favorite thing, though, would be his loyalty to his family and the people he cares about. You always admired that in people.

Kathryn: Oh bestie, I think this might be the one. Daryl's a gem, a true diamond in the rough. He's every woman's dream man--attentive, romantic (in his own way), an absolute sweetheart, loyal to death, the list goes on. He's the type that, in a normal world, would run out and get me tampons at 3am if I needed them. Not to mention, he's incredibly handsome. He's so hot, dude. Like I almost don't know what to do with myself. He's a bit shy with a hard exterior, but once you crack that wide open, that's when he really shines. You were such an extrovert, so you'd enjoy watching Daryl come out of his shell as you got to know him. But most of all, you'd love how happy I am with him. He makes me really happy, Kathryn. And he makes this scary world a little less scary to be in.

When he was finished, he ran his fingers over the edges of the paper, tapping it lightly. I tilted my head to get a better look at his face. He looked like he was trying to suppress a big, goofy smile, but a little bit of it broke through. The look on his face indicated positive feelings, but his lack of response worried me. What if he hated it and was trying to figure out how to tell me? Or what if he was laughing at it because it was stupid? I didn’t know which was worse.

“So…what do you think?” I asked. The nerves and anxiety were obvious in the shakiness of my voice.

Rather than responding with words, he set my notebook on the ground in front of him. He looked at me with a longing and adoration I’d never seen before, and he lightly bit his bottom lip. Daryl interlocked his fingers on the nape of my neck, careful not to tug on my hair, and brought his lips to mine. It was fucking electric, the sparks dancing between us causing my lips to tingle. He tenderly massaged the area behind my ears, and I couldn’t stop myself from smiling like an idiot into our kiss. He rested his nose and forehead on mine as he pulled away.

“Does that answer ya question?” he asked.

Sure, we were tucked away in a dark backyard, most of the community in their homes minding their own business, but for Daryl to show this type of affection in a semi-public setting was…riveting.

“Yeah,” I giggled.

“I love it,” he beamed as he continued to massage the sensitive area behind my ears, “thanks for sharin’. Could…could I maybe keep it? Or could ya write one for me?”

“I had a feeling you might ask me that.” I leaned past him to grab my notebook from its spot on the blanket. I tore along the edge, removing the paper from its spiral binding and handing it to him. “Yes, you can keep it.”

“Add it to the collection,” he joked as he folded it up and slipped it into his pocket.

I took my notebook and started to flip back several pages. “Do you wanna hear the very first thing I ever wrote about you?”

“Hell yeah.” He put one arm around my back, the other under my legs, and scooped me up into his lap, crossing his legs. He wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his head on my shoulder. I went back too far and flipped forward a few pages before finding my first entry since arriving at Alexandria. My first entry about Daryl.

“Well, I did it. I finally found Alexandria. No sign of Jay though. Hopefully that means he traveled south to Florida to find Dad. But there’s someone else here. When I showed up at the gates with the man whose foot I’d hacked off on my shoulder, I was knocked out and woke up in a little cell. There was a man with a crossbow aimed at me, but that wasn’t the first thing I noticed about him. The first thing I noticed was his voice. It’s—“ I paused, chuckling and blushing a little as I read ahead. “God, did I really write that? Anyway, it’s nice and gravely, and I like it. A lot. The way he called me sunshine gave me butterflies. Then I noticed how handsome he was. Surely someone that gorgeous had to be off the market, but I guess he’s a free man. His name’s Daryl, and we’re sharing a house. I don’t think he likes me all that much. Hopefully, he’ll eventually be able to at least tolerate me.”

“Definitely more than just toleratin’ ya now.” He was drawing small shapes up and down my spine with his fingers, switching between circles and swirls and shapes that I was now certain were hearts. “When ya got here, definitely thought ya’s married.”

“Why’d you think that?” I asked, confusion lacing my voice, “I never had a ring on or anything.”

“Have ya looked at yourself? Any man’d be crazy not to wife ya up.”

“Said the same thing about you,” I echoed, holding my notebook up and flashing the entry I’d just read him before tossing it on the blanket next to me. “What did you want to show me?”

“Look up,” Daryl said as he craned his head to the sky. I mimicked him, tilting my head up as well.

It was almost pitch black now, the only light coming from the ones on in our house and the ones next to us, and there wasn’t a single cloud in the sky, giving the stars a chance to, for lack of a better phrasing, really shine. The sky was decorated with them, each one twinkling like glitter. Growing up in a small town, I spent lots of nights in our backyard, staring up at a cloudless sky filled with stars. After moving to a big city for medical school, those nights became few and far between, and they were an experience I savored when I visited my hometown. After the world fell, my sole focus, like everyone else’s, was survival, so I never bothered to take a moment to appreciate the scenery of wherever I was. But now, I was in a walled-in community, and it was safe enough to kick back and look at the stars.

“Whoa.” It came out as a soft, breathy whisper. I was in complete awe, hardly able to speak. Funny to see ya speechless since ya talk so damn much, Daryl would probably say.

“North star’s up there,” he explained, pointing up to a particularly bright little star, “little dipper comes off it. Follow it down—“ he drew an invisible line with his finger as he pointed from one star to another “—and ya get the big dipper.”

“It’s like us.” I was smiling big, and despite not looking at Daryl’s face, I knew he was looking at me with a confused expression on it. “Y’know, like big spoon, little spoon. One of these nights, I’m gonna treat you to being the little spoon. Trust me, you’ll love it.”

There was silence between us for a bit as we admired the stunning sight above. It was like someone had taken fairy dust and sprinkled it across the sky, each little flicker of a twinkling star causing my eyes to dart around to keep up. I was in awe.

Of course, I couldn’t look up at a night sky full of stars without thinking about my dad. It comforted me to know that, if he was alive, whether that was up in space or down here on Earth, we were looking at the same view. Daryl’s beautiful voice pulled me from my dissociation.

“Hey Lydia?” My name sounded so sweet when it dripped off his lips like that. “As much as I like watchin’ ya get all excited ‘bout the stars, ain’t the only reason I brought ya out here. There’s somethin’ I wanna ask ya.”

“Oh yeah? What’s that?” I wondered. Like I didn’t know exactly what he was about to ask me.

He shifted a bit, putting his hands on the ground behind him to lean back and balance himself. It was difficult to make out his facial features with how dark it was, but it looked like he was biting his lip anxiously. If he was going to ask what I thought he was going to ask, he had nothing to be anxious about. I’d never heard Daryl’s voice shake when he talked, unless it was shaking in anger, but he was nervous, and it was obvious in his voice. “Was wonderin’ how ya’d feel if I…if I started callin’ ya my woman.”

I was over the goddamn moon.

“Daryl, my sweet, are you asking me to be your girlfriend?”

He shifted more, and the anxiety radiating off of him was palpable. “Guess I am.”

Every ounce of joy, excitement, giddiness, enthusiasm, and happiness my body was capable of experiencing flowed through my veins, replacing every drop of blood, all of which was gathering in my cheeks. My heart rate skyrocketed, and I could practically feel my pupils dilating. I was grinning ear-to-ear so hard that my jaw was already beginning to ache. Every square inch of my skin was tingling in the most magical way.

I leaned into Daryl, our lips colliding before I could even close my eyes. My hands wandered up the back of his neck and into his hair, delicately twirling those dark chocolate locks around in my fingers. My big, silly smile broke through, causing me to laugh into our kiss and elicit a little smile from him in return.

Every kiss with Daryl was nothing short of absolute magic.

“Does that answer your question?” I replied, tickling the tip of his nose with mine.

The excitement and happiness were quickly overshadowed by anxiety, the butterflies in my stomach being swallowed whole by intense feelings of guilt. All I could think about was the one thing I might not be able to do for him, or if I could, not for a long time. I bit the inside of my lower lip and looked down, hanging my head in shame as my arms fell around his neck. “I, umm, I just have some…concerns. Regarding…uh…”

My voice trailed off, and I couldn’t even form the words. Sex, Lydia, just say it, I thought, you’re a doctor, just say it. Thankfully, I didn’t have to worry for long, as Daryl seemed to know the exact direction I was going in.

“Hey.” He had the softest, most reassuring tone to his voice. He took my face in his hand, stroking my cheekbone with his thumb and doing that thing with his eyes again, where he looked deep into my soul, past all of the trauma and the bullshit. It made me weak in the knees in the best way. “Take all the time ya need. Ain’t goin’ nowhere just ‘cause of that.”

Not that I thought he would, but it was nice to be reassured anyway. And coming from someone as honest as Daryl, I knew it was true.

“Remember the other night when we were talkin’ ‘bout rememberin’ things the other person said?” he asked, and I nodded, “I remember when ya’s pukin’ after drinkin’ too much and said ya could kiss me at that moment.” It may have been dark, but I was blushing so hard, I was confident my cheeks were glowing & he could see it.

“Damn,” I sighed, “was hoping you’d forgotten about that.”

“The first time ya talked ‘bout wantin’ to kiss me? Ain’t never forgettin’ that,” he cooed, pulling me in for another long, tender smooch.

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