#twd 11x02

“It’s rusted shut. Safe bet that they all are”, you heard Frost’s voice sound through to you from the other end, while your eyes ran over Negan’s face, trying to figure out what was going on, except being stuck in this damn wagon. “You okay?”, you asked, reaching out and grasping his hand to get his attention before Alden’s voice interrupted you. “Where’s Maggie?, he asked, pushing himself further through to you to get a look at the ceiling opening while you watched Negan gulp thickly, avoiding to look directly at the shorter man. “She was right behind me”, he said and you could tell that something wasn’t right, something had happened, you just didn’t know what. “Somebody boost me up”, Alden said, visibly growing more restless. “If you go up there you’re dead. She’d be pissed if you try. She’d want us to keep moving forward”, you could hear Frost calling out from the other end again, honestly surprising you that he was ready to just leave her behind, regardless of whether she hadn’t made it out back at the ladder, or whether she was still trying to get through to you. “Alright, we need to get that door open. Then we’ll go from cart to cart until we find the end of the train and hop off”, Gabriel said with a gloomy look on his face before he breathed deeply through,”And then we just keep going.” A hum of agreement sounded through the wagon before you could see Frost and Duncan moving towards the door, until Negan rushed past you and the others to the other end, with his crowbar raised. “I got it guys”, he called out, too restless and too hasty for your taste. You knew this man inside out, there was something wrong, and he was trying to keep moving to get his mind off it.  It didn’t matter much in these moments though as Negan was starting to work his crowbar on the door, trying to pry it open while the rusted metal squeaked loudly in response, before a loud banging sound interrupted him.  “What’s that?”, Gabriel asked as you looked around, already expecting walkers to have found some kind of nook or cranny to squeeze themselves through to bang against the cart from above or below to try and get inside. “Is that the roof?”, Alden asked, looking up at the ceiling while you looked over at Negan who’s glance was nervously bouncing over the walls of the wagon. “No”,Gabriel said, shaking his head as he nodded to the ground while the banging continued,”It’s coming from below the wagon.” For a moment, no one said anything while your eyes stayed stuck on Negan and the tension that visibly laid all over him before Alden’s glance shot back up into the group. “Long...short...long...It’s morse code. That’s SOS”, he said, his eyes visibly becoming wider as the realization kicked in that the one person who hadn’t made it up the ladder had to be underneath you right now. Frost and Duncan started to rush towards the hatchway on the ground of the aisle, starting to tear at it as you moved towards Negan, trying to say something before the harsh metallic sound of the opening hatchway ripped your attention back to the aisle. And down there, emerging from the tracks you could see Maggie climbing up into the cart, and the look in her eyes was filled with nothing but fury, and those eyes were directly pointed at Negan. She pretty much rushed up onto her feet, moving so fast that you could barely react as she stormed towards Negan, past you only to smack the barrel of her gun against the side of his face. A sharp breath fell from your lips as Negan fell to his side, groaning as he propped his hands onto the bench’s cushion to halt his fall while Maggie’s eyes stared down at him, bringing a wave of fear over you that was fearing that she was gonna use the gun on him in a different, more deadly way now. “I slipped, he saw, and he left me to die”, she snapped, her voice full of venom and even though there was a part of you that had already suspected something like this, you were still startled for a moment “Yeah...okay”, Negan said, getting back up on his feet as he pressed his palm over the side of his face before he glanced over at her,”So what?” “That’s it?”,you heard Gabriel ask as you turned around and looked into his confused and shocked face, and even though there was some shock within you too, the fear of what was to happen to Negan now overweighted it by far,”You’re just admitting it?” “You tried to kill her”, Alden yelled, stepping closer behind your husband while Negan’s eyes were still fixed on Maggie, not leaving her for just a second. “No, she was in trouble and I didn’t help her .There’s a big difference”, he said, calm and collected, before your breath suddenly hitched as Duncan moved up, grabbing Negan’s shoulders to press him against the wall. “Let go of him”, it shot out of your mouth as a groan fell from Negan’s lips, only to see Duncan glaring over at you. “You wish”, he mumbled lowly before his eyes darted back at Negan,”Fucking asshole.” A huff fell from Negan’s lips as his brows furrowed and his angered glance darted over at Gabriel and those behind you. “She held a gun to my wife’s head, and was just talking about murdering me”, he growled, clenching his jaw tightly,”Sooner rather than later, and yet somehow, I’m a big old asshole for not risking my nuts for her?” He was right. Though the action had been a shock, there was only truth in what he said, even though it didn’t prevent you from becoming more nervous. “I have been a golden goddamn asset for every single one of you”, Negan said harshly, yet still calm as Alden huffed sarcastically and pushed himself further forward. “Burning hilltop that helped huh?” “I killed Alpha”, Negan snapped back, rightfully so and just the goddamn mention of Hilltop made the anger that was brewing deep down rise up further within you,”Alright so yeah, I was helpful, because if I hadn’t done that, every person you know...their skull would be on a spike. I did what needed to be done, alright I’m trying.” “Yeah okay I’m not buying a word of it”, Frost huffed from somewhere behind you, and merely the voice of the man who’d been playing bully all day long until now was getting you more worked up. “Me neither”, Duncan growled, tightening the grip he had on Negan’s jacket while you slowly found yourself reaching down to your side where your gun rested. Just in case. “Nod, and we’ll take care if it. We can get through the city without him”, Agatha said beside Maggie and that’s when “just in case” turned into “If they’ll make another false step I’ll use it”, and the anger and fear within you spiked. “Who’s gonna help you now”, Duncan growled as you hand started to wrap around the grip of the gun, ready to take it if you had to,“Who’s got your back?” That was it. “I do”, you said, calm but firm as you pulled the gun up and pointed it right at Duncan’s head while a whole range of sharp, shocked breaths sounded through to you from behind,”So now let go of him.” Gabriel mumbled your name, enough to let your glance skip past Duncan and towards him, even though you stayed concentrated and focused, making sure none of the were using this moment to overpower you. “What? Am I supposed to just stand by while they’re contemplating about getting rid of him?”, you asked, looking right at the priest,“You know me Gabriel, I’m not someone who is unnecessarily violent. I don’t hurt anyone if I don’t have to.” You gulped, before your eyes skipped back at Duncan, making sure that he wasn’t doing anything more to Negan before you glanced back at Gabe. “But these people here have been treating him like shit since we left Alexandria and still demand his help, and now they’re talking about getting rid of my husband, so I think it’s quite reasonable that I’m not gonna stand by and watch”, you said, your hands still tightly wrapped around the gun’s grip, preparing yourself to use this moment to stop this insanity and their goddamn bullying for once. And you knew it was risky what you were about to say, but you had to to get the point across. “Should he have brought Glenn into this? No. Should he have left Maggie there? Probably not either. But you’ve been trying to provoke him and rile him up every chance you got, fuck, are you people really surprised that he lashed out after that?”, you asked, furrowing your brows as you turned just enough around to glare at Agatha, Cole and Frost, before your eyes skipped to Maggie,  “And you, Maggie, talked about killing him, so is it really a surprise that he didn’t help the woman who threatened him? You reap what you fucking sow so you can’t tell me that you wouldn’t have reacted the same if you were in his position.” “Are you done with your speech?”, Alden suddenly spoke up, shooting your attention right back at him as a dry chuckle left your lips, filled with frustration, anger and a good bit of spite. “I’m just doing what Maggie did about an hour ago to me. But when she held a gun to my face and held a damn speech, no one, except Daryl, seemed bothered enough to do something”, you said, narrowing your eyes at him in a glare,”So no Alden, I’m actually not done, and while we’re at it, stop bringing Hilltop into this. He tried to keep her from doing it and she wouldn’t listen. If he’d just questioned anything more that she did, she’d killed him before he had the chance to kill her, and you know that. He had no choice there and he still ended up saving every damn person back home. What did you do to help?” Nothing. Alden opened his mouth, trying to say something but ended up saying nothing at all, which was exactly what he’d done to help out. “Right”, you said, your glare starting to retreat a little as your eyes fell back on Gabriel, hoping to find some sense of reason in him. “I’m not gonna hurt anyone, I’m not gonna use that gun if I’m not forced to”, you said, nodding toward Duncan ,“Fuck, I’m not asking you to kiss his feet, all I’m asking for you to do is treat him like a human...just treat him like a part of this group like everyone else, because anything else is just pathetic and will get us into more problems...we already have enough, we don’t need more on top of that.” A huff left your lips as your eyes brushed over Negan for a moment, checking on him and even though you were pumped up with emotions and adrenaline, you managed to catch the bit of relief as well as pride that seemed to sway in his glance as he looked over at you, just before you looked back around to look at Maggie and her minions. ”Like it or not, we need to get along somehow or we’re gonna get each other killed...So let go of him, and stop acting like bullies, and I’ll put that gun down”, you declared, looking back at the man who still had a tight grip on your husband’s jacket before you heard Maggie’s voice. “Duncan”, she ordered and just like that, he started to let go of Negan. “Alright”, he growled as he dropped his hands and made you lower your gun, shoving it back into its holster just before you suddenly heard a familiar voice echoing through the wagon, dull and muffled, but filled with panic as it called for help. It was Gage, stuck behind the other wagon’s door, trapped in one of the carts that lead further into the metro system, banging against the glass window. “What happened?”, Gabriel called out, pushing himself forward as Gage’s panicked and hasty voice sounded through the glass. “We got lost in the tunnels. Walkers are everywhere.” “How did you get in there?”, Negan called out, as he strutted closer and pushed himself through the others to let his crowbar work on the door. “I got a door open at the far end”, Gage called out, breathing heavily as  Gabriel spoke up again as you suddenly heard the groans of the dead starting to echo a bit louder through to you. “Did you close it?”, and just as Gabe had spoken these words, you could see the dead starting to push themselves through the aisle in the wagons further behind the one that Gage was standing in. A panicked breath left the teenagers lips as he looked back, while you watched your husband trying to get the door open while the rusty metal clicked underneath his strong grasp as he turned back to wave towards Duncan. “This one seems a bit looser. Hey Sasquatch give me a hand”, he called out, starting to adjust his crowbar to pry the door open as you could see the bigger moving forward until he reached Maggie, though instead of allowing Duncan to move past her, Maggie stayed standing in front of him. “If we open that they’ll all get in”, she called out as your glance shot towards her and it clicked within you, allowing you to realize that she wanted Gage stay where he was, and die. “He’s right there”, Alden called out, visibly upset as he stared at her, bewildered and shocked, even though he was only starting to see the Maggie that you and Negan had been forced to see since she got back.  “I know”, she said, and you found yourself staring at her and her hypocrite ass. Just now she’d been yelling at Negan for leaving her, but now, she was leaving Gage, which was far worse. Negan was leaving an acute threat to his and your life behind, Maggie was planning to leave a teen behind who was right there, with enough time left to safe him.  You truly weren’t a fan of Gage, rather the opposite, and after everything that had happened with Lydia you’d stayed pretty warily of him, even hostile. Maggie though, didn’t even know of that incident, to her he was just a teenager, who’d once been a little boy at Hilltop, on this mission and though you were leery of him, Gage didn’t deserve to just be left to be torn apart by the dead that were pushing further into the carts. After all, he was still a kid and he had done a lot to be better since that night, you’d seen it. “To hell with you”, Alden snapped at her, for once surprising you that he spoke up against his praised Maggie before he stormed towards the door, pushing past Negan to start ripping on the rusty door. “Alden”, Maggie called out, almost like a teacher who was demanding her students to stop chatting during class for the third time. He didn’t listen to her though, breathing heavily as he put his whole weight into his moves while the panicked Gage looked back and forth between the door and the closer coming walkers. You only caught how Maggie looked over at Duncan and nodded, silently ordering him to take care of the situation which honestly made you feel like stuck in a bad movie, as Duncan strutted followed Maggie’s orders just like that and strutted towards Alden to rip him away from the door. “Are you insane? Move!”, he called out as the bigger man pushed him away, keeping him from going back towards the door as he build himself up in front of Alden and placed his hand harshly on his shoulder to keep him back. “Maggie?”, Gage called out through the window, visibly becoming more panicked as he started to yell with tears in his eyes,”Maggie! Open the door! Look I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry!” By now, tears were streaming down his face and you could feel your stomach dropping as you looked at him, trying to figure out what to do. Leaving him there was just gruesome, it wasn’t impossible to save him, and you didn’t like how she got to decide over life and death just like that. ”I made a mistake but I’m sorry. I just want another chance, okay? I won’t do it again, I’ll be better, please...please”, he called out, sniffling and panting  “Maggie, listen to me we have time. We can get that door open”, Alden started again as Gage called for Maggie once more, his voice breaking off as she started to shake her head “We don’t have the ammo to clear them”, she said as she stared right back at Alden while your eyes met with Negan’s for a moment who’d been eyeing Maggie closely before you found yourself speaking up, pushed by an urge inside of you. “We probably can’t go back, chances are high we have to get through them either way”, you said, gesturing towards the door as Maggie’s glance shot towards you,”We still have enough time to open that door, let him in and shut it, so we can open it step by step and kill them one by one with our knives and spears. We’ve done this before.” “She’s right”, Alden breathed out, nodding as he stormed back towards the door only to be pushed back again by Duncan,”Stop it!” “Maggie!”, Gage called out, crying even harder by now as he tired to move the door by himself but stayed unsuccessful as the walkers pushed closer and their groans grew louder. “We can still do this”, you said, directed at Maggie since no matter if you liked it or not, she was the only one who could decide now, without her approval no one would get past her very own Beta that protected the door more than the life that was right behind it. “Duncan”, Maggie said instead, with a stare and a tone that made sure that he stayed in his place and you realized that there was nothing more that you could do. “Let it go”, you heard Gabriel say towards Alden, with a calm and so cold that it startled you while Gage’s whimper sounded through the door again and let a shiver run down your spine while nausea flooded your body, knowing what was about to happen. “Please.” “I’m sorry, I can’t”, Maggie called out as Gage’s teary eyes narrowed and he spoke out what you were thinking. “Liar.”

You could barely watch what happened right after.  Shaking, he pulled his slim daggers out from their holster, holding them in front of them as heavy pants left his lips and he stared at them, right before he grabbed the one he held in his right hand righter.  And just then, just a second later, he buried the dagger’s blade in his chest, right where his heart was. A loud wheeze left his lips as you could feel your stomach sinking, forced to watch as he pulled the dagger out and drove it right back into his chest as he stared right at Maggie. He shivered, his eyes starting to become less focused as he pulled the bloody blade one last time out of his body, that started to give into death’s force. Just then, just in this very moment the walkers caught up with him and engulfed them in their deadly embrace, pulling on him as he started to lose consciousness, tearing at him and burying their rooting teeth into his flesh as they dragged him to the ground, out of view, but surely not out of your thoughts. It got quiet after that. The silence got merely disrupted by Frost and Duncan who were in the other wagon, trying to pry the door open that lead into the opposite direction and let metallic rustles echo through the cart whenever they made another attempt to rip it open.  You were still standing in the same cart as before, where merely Gabriel, Alden, Maggie, and Negan had remained, who was walking through the aisle, restless and uneasy before he plopped down onto one of the benches. “What is it?”, you heard Gabriel ask as he stared down on him while your eyes were fixed on your husband as you started to become worried. “Bad memories”, Negan said, running his palm over his face and clenched his jaw as he stared down at his feet. “About what?”, the priest asked, eyeing him closely as Negan remained silent and just kept on staring at his boots while Gabriel started to walk past him and let himself fall onto one of the other benches, closing his eyes to rest for just a moment. Worried, you looked over at Negan, pondering about what was truly bothering him so much while you moved through the aisle until you could sit down beside him and look over his tense figure. “Hmm?”, you asked, reaching out to take his hand in yours, trying to relax him a bit and find out what the matter was. A small moment of silence set in before he let out a sigh and glimpsed over at you. “Remember that trailer that Gabe and I hid in when that herd overran the Sanctuary?” You nodded, watching as his eyes filled with more worry as he gulped thickly. “Those dead fucks banging against the wall...just reminds me of it and that ain’t good memories”, he sighed, furrowing his brows as he stared down at your entangled hands,”Was scared shitless...didn’t know where you were, if you were okay...shit if you were alive.” “Well I’m here with you now”, you said, giving his hand a soft squeeze as you smiled at him and reached up with your other hand to cup his jaw, making sure that he was looking at you,”And I’m all good.” Slowly, he started to nod, leaning into your touch for a moment before you dropped your palm from his face and felt his other hand grasping yours tighter.  Tying to blend the gurgling and groaning sounds of the walkers out you looked around, watching as Elijah’s flashlight’s light started to flicker, before it ran out of juice and shut down entirely, dimming the light inside the wagon by quite a bit.  It felt like a threat of the ticking time on top of the banging walker sounds, a sign that if you wouldn’t get out soon enough and all of your flashlights and extra battery supplies ran out, you’d be doomed. A shiver fell from your lips as your eyes stared at the spot where moments before Elijah’s light had hit the metallic back of a pair of benches, just before you heard the sizzling sound of a signal flare and saw its red light filling the wagon barely a few seconds later.  It soaked its inside and the walkers that were banging on the door in a bloody tone, and just then, you saw the figure that rose up in front of the door’s window, banging on its glass along with the other dead. Gulping you looked at him, at his glassy eyes, the open hanging mouth that had called out and whimpered earlier and that was now home to the horribly familiar groans that let his ribcage shake that was torn to pieces, just like his entire lower abdomen.  A shiver ran down your spine as you finally looked away, though you could still hear his grows as your eyes fell on Alden who was surveying Gabriel and Maggie, who kept their glances directed away from the door. “You guys don’t wanna look at him”,he said, visibly pissed off as his brows furrowed,”Why?” “All that is is the shell of a man who died a coward”, you could hear the priest say, a bit too dry and cold for your taste, and it seemed as if this truly wasn’t the answer that Alden had wanted to hear. “That’s a hard take”,he huffed, glancing over at Gage’s walker before he looked back,”He was scared, he didn’t deserve to die like that...worst way imaginable.” “There are worse ways...a lot worse”, Maggie’s voice sounded through the wagon as she stepped closer to Alden and leaned against one of the metal poles on the other side of the aisle that reached up to the ceiling, though remaining about another bench width behind you. It felt like an odd answer, definitely another answer Alden didn’t want to hear and if you were honest, an answer that seemed quite unfitting. There were always worse ways, but stabbing oneself in the heart with a dagger only to be torn apart by the dead seconds later was definitely an unbelievably horrible way to die. You heard her shifting from foot to foot behind you, and as you allowed yourself to glimpse over your shoulder, you saw her eyes still focused on Alden as she cleared her throat slightly. “Before I found Elijah and his people, Hershel and I were alone for a long time”, she started and from there on out, it sounded as if you were listening to the plot of a gruesome horror movie instead of a story from her past.  Your mind zoomed in and out as she talked, your eyes were focused on Negan’s hand that still grasped yours while the fingers of your other hand were running slowly over the threats of his fingerless glove and heard her voice every now and then, though you caught the important parts. Out there, a man had tried to lure her back to his home, under the caveat that he needed help to get food back to his daughters. and though she’d known that he’d been lying, she had followed him, only to take him out with the chloroform cloth that he would’ve tried to use on her. Three more men came after her and  she took them out as well, before she found herself locking her son into a room to go search for potential supplies in the house.  It was the next part that truly brought a shiver down your back and let the nausea flare up. She’d headed up to the basement as she’d heard rustling upstairs, and thought she was seeing a random walker at the beginning of the steps, or some kind of animal. But instead, instead she saw what was left of a woman, a pregnant woman, who’d been tortured to death and left to turn. Maggie’s description of her made your skin crawl, the way she described her was like pulled from the worst nightmares one could have. She had no limbs, the stumps sown up, her eyes gauged out, and a hole had been gaping in her throat from where the poor woman’s vocal cords had been torn out. Maggie’s voice turned dark, almost as if she was truly narrating a horror story, as she described the woman’s round and full belly, and the figure inside that wanted to get out, the unborn child that had turned within its mothers tortured body, or that what had been left of it.  She’d found three more of those women. Oppositely to the first woman, those poor souls had still been breathing though. ”Do you know the first thing that crossed my mind?”, she said, stepping closer to Alden as you looked up at her and felt Negan pull his hand softly from yours to run it over his face, still stressed while Maggie’s voice echoed through to you and let another shiver run down your back, “If they’re alive, there’s gotta be food here. So I took care of them and then, I found the food.” Gulping you stared up at her, shaken by each and everything that she’d just said before she topped it all off. “I don’t feel anything when I tell you that”, she added as she looked down at Alden whose eyes were running over her as if he didn’t recognize the woman in front of him  ,”Do you understand me? Cause that’s what out there...and seeing that, I lost something, and I don’t think it’s bad that I did, because it makes things so much clearer.” You got what she meant, you did, though you couldn’t find yourself feeling for her, nor did you understand how this related to her letting Gage die the way she did. It almost felt like she was trying to find an excuse for her action, a justification though the things she’d encountered and her willingness to let a teenager be torn to pieces stood in no relation to one another, no matter how hard she tried to make it look like it. Getting the food, no matter what it takes, was pretty much the message of hers, but if she’d merely listened to others, if she hadn’t been so narrow minded and cold, Gage would still be alive, and you’d have one more fighter. “What we have in Alexandria, what we had in Hilltop, and in Meridian...it’s rare. It has to be”, you heard her say as she shifted from foot to foot,”Compared to everything that’s out there, because if it isn’t...” “It means we were lucky”,you heard Negan suddenly speak up as he gulped thickly, as stared up at her ,”It means that nobody has it figured out, nobody ever did, and nobody ever will.”

The atmosphere remained gloomy at best within the carts, even more so as the threat from all sides got larger. The walkers around the carts kept on banging their hands against the dusty windows, those along with Gage behind the door continued to push into it, slowly starting to pry it open, and the work of Frost and Duncan had turned out as a disappointment as they managed to open one door, only to find the one right after blocked. By now, you could hear the metal of the door that had kept Gage from entering starting to creep open, one metallic screeching after another as those around you were starting to get ready for the now inevitable.  Your hands were wrapped around your bow, your quiver adjusted to make the arrows more accessible while you formed the last line along with Negan behind the others who’d be forced to fight first.  Gabriel formed the start, with his shotgun raised and darted forward, about to use the ammo Maggie had claimed you didn’t have to take out all the walkers behind the window, while you heard Duncan still working on the other door, pushing and tearing at it before the sound of his work got out-drowned by the squeaking of the door right in front of you. From one moment to another it suddenly tore itself out of its frame, falling with a loud clattering sound to the ground before the first gunshot echoed through the wagon and catapulted a bullet right into Gage’s head. He fell lifeless to the ground, just like uncountable walkers after that as those in front of you took them out, first Gabriel, then Maggie and Agatha until their arrows ran out, and then Alden and Cole, as the walkers just kept on streaming further into the cart. Just as it was yours and Negan’s turn to move forward, you heard Duncan’s voice yelling through the wagon, panicked and not relieved as you’d hoped he’d be once the door would allow itself to start to open. “Hey! They’re coming in from this side!”, he called out, bringing another wave of adrenaline through your body as you realized what that meant.  ”Fuck”, you breathed out, gripping your bow tighter as you looked back at the slightly opened door on the other side, just before you glanced back and watched Maggie putting another clip into her gun, before she did something that made you ask yourself whether your eyes were lying to you. She nodded to the door, and then, handed the gun to Negan. For just a second, you were too startled to do anything before it clicked and your body went right back into survival mode, as you turned enough for her to get access to your quiver, and nodded at her while Negan was already storming to the other side, yelling at the others to back off so he could start shooting. ”Take some of those arrows, I’ll help him out over there”, you said, nodding to the quiver as Maggie looked startled at you for a second, before she grabbed about half of your arrows and left you to storm with the rest towards the door where Negan was killing walker after walker. With the door not even half open, you quickly realized that the bow wouldn’t be of much use and tucked it back away, and grabbed your gun instead and strutted towards Negan, ready to use it as soon as he would run out of bullets.  Negan acknowledged you beside him, giving you a nod before he suddenly started to lower his gun, though the shots didn’t stop, instead, they just game from within the wagon. Walker fell after walker as you glanced through the window, and your heart skipped a beat as you saw Daryl taking down walkers until he reached the end and pushed the large, heavy box that had blocked the door to the side, allowing Negan to finally fully push the door open and call out to the others. “Over here!”, he yelled, loud enough for them to abandon trying to keep the walkers at bay at the other side, and instead, stormed towards you. Your heart was pounding up your throat as you stormed inside the other wagon, hearing the dead already starting to get closer, so close that they already entered the wagon you’d just been standing. You grabbed the gun tighter, already getting yourself prepared for the fact that one way or another, this group had to fight again before Daryl shut the door again, merely leaving it a few inches open as you caught the grenade in his hand. You realized what he was about to do just before he turned around and yelled into the wagon. “Get down!”, his voice echoed through to you as you let yourself fall between the benches, pressing your hands over your ears and watching as the others did the very same before a loud booming sound ripped through the air and made you flinch, before it was gone within seconds and a calming silence set in. No walker groans. None. You slowly moved back up on your feet, shivering in disgust as you saw the torn up walkers inside the wagon and their guts that painted all the walls and benches, soaking it in their rotting blood before Daryl’s voice sounded through to you as he moved towards the guts covered cart. “C’mon, let’s get through here. Dog’s waitin’ with Roy at the exit.” “Shit”, you heard Negan curse in relief as you finally found yourself walking up the stairs that lead outside the metro, breathing deeply through as fresh air started to whirl around you, a welcome change to the gutsy and rotting air within the wagons.  “Fresh air”, you spelled it out, sighing contently as you breathed in the air that felt like thoroughly washed and cleaned after the big storm that had left a certain humidity hanging in the air. It was a welcome relief, seeing the night sky, seeing old cars parked by the side of the road that bordered the start of the forest and hearing the rustling of leaves around you instead of the metallic squeaking of the carts beneath your feet. “Fuckin’ finally”, Negan groaned, as you moved closer towards a road that lead further into the forest, and which allowed the group to find spots to rest along its side, on stairs, small boulders that were scattered around the area and some tree trunks. On just one of those trunks you saw Roy, trying to somehow adjust himself to relief himself of the pain that the bloody wounds on the side of his head had to put him through. “Gonna be back in a moment”, you said to Negan, nudging his hand softly before you moved towards the injured man and lowered your backpack that was home to the medical supplies that you’d taken from Alexandria for situations just like this one. “C’mon let me patch you up”, you said as you kneeled down beside him and pushed your backpack off, opening it up to reveal the medical supplies you’d brought along.  “You shouldn’t waste that on me”, he huffed, glimpsing from the backpack to the ground again as you started to shake your head. “I’m not wasting anything”,you said, starting to pull out some disinfection liquid as you shrugged your shoulders slightly,”Kinda my job ‘round here to treat you guys.” You glimpsed back at him, visibly seeing the guilt written over his face and while the fact that he first took the ammo when he left and then lost it on top of it made you feel upset as well, you couldn’t really hold it against him. You’d wanted to leave too. You couldn’t really blame for refusing to support this suicide mission and continue to follow Maggie through the underground system, which had ultimately lead to Gage’s death and which would’ve nearly been a death sentence for the rest of you. “No matter how you got those injuries and why”, you added, catching his glance before he slowly started to nod. “Alright.” That was enough for you to start taking care of his wounds, patching up the large wound of his temple as well as you could outside at the edge of the woods, with merely anything but the moonshine enlightening the sky. You were sure that he might need stitches, but at this point in time, with as little light as you had and with pretty much dirt all around you, it felt like going ahead with it now might bear more risks than benefits. So you were left hoping that the next stop was cleaner and close enough in time to still stitch up his wound before the time window had passed, but for now, he was going to be okay with what you could do here and now for him. “Is that better?”, you asked as you finished him up and you gestured towards the wound on his head,”I might be able to be a bit more thorough later.” “Yeah that’s good”, he nodded, shifting slightly to get himself in more comfortable position watching you as you packed your supplied back into the bag,”Thank you.” “You’re welcome”, you said, starting to close your backpack as you felt a small nudge against your arm and turned around to see Dog staring at the half closed zipper.  “Oh hi, do you need something too?”, you chuckled, closing the bag only to reach over to stroke over the German Shepard’s head and ruffle the fluffy fur behind his ears. “He just wants some treats”, Daryl snorted as strolled closer and sat down onto one of the smaller boulders, stretching his legs to give his muscles some relief. “Can’t hold that against you”,you chuckled as you looked at Dog, stroking a little more through his fur as he stepped a little closer,”I can only give you pets though...disappointing, I know” For another moment, you petted him, happy about the furry distraction while you looked up and let your glance sway over the rest of the group, catching nothing worthy of more attention before your eyes caught Negan strolling towards Maggie, who had by now settled down in a burned out car. She was sitting on the edge of the passenger seats worn down cushion, fumbling on the edge of her backpack as Negan reached her, and reached the gun that she’d previously given him out towards her. His hand was wrapped around the barrel, the grip was pointing towards her, daring her to take it. Without a word, you watched her looking warily at him before she reached up to wrap her hand around the gun, trying to take it only for Negan to hold onto it for another moment, forcing her to look at him. It looked like a silent conversation without any words, acknowledgment that there was a possibility to work together without being at each other’s throats every other minute. Eventually, Negan let the barrel go and as he stepped away, his glance brushed over you for a short moment before he moved a little further along the street to bring a bit of distance between him and the others.  “Dog, c’mon”, you heard Daryl say, whistling to quickly get his dog’s attention and make him trot back over to his side before you got back up on your feet with a small groan. Grabbing your backpack you moved past Roy and strolled down the road, closer towards Negan.  “Hey you”, you said as you reached him, giving him a small smile as you let the bag drop down back beside your feet and let out a small sigh while you watched him nodding merely visible towards Maggie, who loading the gun with the last bit of ammo she seemed to have left. “Peace offering might be a bit far fetched but...maybe the start of some mutual respect, i don’t know”, he said, shrugging his shoulders softly as you started to nod. “Let’s hope so”, you mumbled, feeling how Negan pulled you in for a hug to allow you to rest a bit. Leaning against him, you let out a content hum as you hugged him back and cuddled closer into his warmth, closing your eyes for just a moment before you heard Negan’s voice rumble through to you as he leaned his head against yours. “I’ve said it before and I can only say it again, you’re my savior, Sweetheart”,he mumbled, bringing a different kind of warmth into your body as you leaned just enough back to look at him and see the soft smile mix with a mischievous grin  ,”What you did there for me, that was sweet and fucking hot all at the same time...almost got a boner there.” “Oh wow”, you chuckled, grinning back at him as you watched him sigh dramatically. “Fucking dead cockblockers”, he grumbled, winking at you before he pulled you a little closer against him and let some seriousness slip onto his face. “Really though”, he started, staring down at  you as the warmth of the smile overtook the grin as his eyes wandered over your face,”You’re the best and I love the shit outta you.” “Well I love the shit outta you too”, you chuckled back, leaning up to place a quick but gentle kiss over his lips before he pulled you tightly back against his chest and press a soft kiss to your forehead. Sighing, you leaned closer in, melting back into his cuddly embrace before you heard your stomach starting to gurgle loudly, warning you about your body’s needs after the first wave of adrenaline had ebbed away. “Damn that was a loud grumble”, you heard Negan snicker, “If I didn’t know it was you I would’ve thought another thunder storm was about to fuck us up again.” “Yeah my body wants food”,you laughed into the fabric of his jacket, before you shrugged your shoulders slightly,”Think it’s gotta wait for a bit though.” “Mhmm”, Negan mumbled as he cradled you tighter, just before you heard Agatha’s voice echoing through the night. “We’re gonna move forward now?”, she asked, ripping you out of the tiny bit of peacefulness that you’d built up, and the rummaging sounds of those who were getting up from their spot and grabbed their stuff already made you step slowly out of Negan’s embrace to stroll closer and see what was about to happen now. “Yeah, just gotta make a detour”, Maggie said as you watched her get up from her spot and swing her backpack back over her shoulder,“Arbor Hills.” “What’s that?” Daryl grumbled, still petting Dog beside him as you strolled a bit closer, enough to get a good look at everyone. “Hidden supply depo”,she answered, adjusting the bag’s belts around her shoulders with a sigh,”Georgie set them up all over while we were out searching for survivors. Has ammo, food, weapons. Rest up there, restock and then head to Meridian.” You found yourself nodding, actually relieved that there was another stop along the way that would fill up your empty stomachs and drained supplies again, before the real shitshow would start, even though it felt like you’d already experienced a harsh foretaste of it. “It’s the radio tower in that neighborhood”,you heard her add, looking over at Negan,”You know where that is?” “Yeah, c’mon”, Negan mumbled with a nod, his eyes brushing over the nearest road sign before he waved at the rest to follow him as he gestured towards the road that stretched itself away from the city, and into the woods, “This way.”