#twbody

My two moods. Utterly terrified and SO excited to kick this eating disorders ass once in for all!! Reallyyy bored right now as I’m gonna be in the ER for another three hours because my potassium was so critically low. 😖😖 So so anxious, really tempted to just leave but I know I’m not going to do that, I know that I’ve got to fight for my life and happiness. I know that the weight I’m going to gain is for my wellbeing and my health and that it’s very much needed. I cannot live this life barely living at all or just barely surviving. I just can’t. I need to be full of life and I CAN get there. I’ve just got to damn get over this fear of numbers. The only way over these fears is through. I’ve got to just push THROUGH.

Loving these nails soooo much even though they keep falling off. 😂 My whole body aches and my chest feels tight and I’ve lost like 10 pounds in just two weeks and just wanna give up. Feels like I’m never gonna recover, feels like I won’t ever recover until I’m 95 fuxking pounds...idk I know this is sick but I just wanna lose the weight and then go to treatment again and recover again after I lose it all. It’s just like I feel that the ED was never valid because I was never extremely underweight. Ugh ugh ugh I hate everything!!!