i think i might take a small break 😔

lol depression is coming up on me and schools starting soon there’s a lotta pressure on me from my parents (they are genuinely strict and aren’t the nicest, though they don’t hit or abuse me). i’m gonna go off for maybe over a week or two so probably don’t expect too many posts from me

i’ll still post every now and then, but not as much as i used to..

my mental health hasn’t been good and i’ve been extremely tired, so i hope you can forgive me lol

sighhhh alright

my sleep schedule is also real bad lol

this is basically a rant-

welp might as well explain how things are going-

so, i am starting a new school, and im genuinely scared. im afraid i wont fit in and i feel more introverted. my parents keep pressuring me to be ready and to make sure i get good grades, though when they say they dont care the grade as long as im trying, its a lie. a huge lie.

im still figuring out my sexuality. i have dated both a girl and a boy, but i know i like both. only problems is i dont know how to explain how it feel about the two genders. i’m pretty sure im pansexual? so i would tell ym parents. big mistake. “your only ## years old! you aren’t having a sexuality crisis!” yes, they actually said that. (age blurred out for privacy). so, i found out later on that i am genderneautral and that i want to go by it/its pronouns. told my siblings. big mistake. they said im not, that im stupid for thinking i’m a different gender than i currently am, and just expressed how disappointed they were in me.

i have been to a mental hospital once, and that was NOT fun. i was fine. no i wasn’t. i had self harmed a shit ton and my parents were ‘concerned’. everything changed the day i came back home. my parents always kept an eye on me. they didn’t let me have my phone back for over 2 months. going back to school was harder. i got pretty beat up by some kids older than me who expressed i was weak. dunno how anyone knew i went to the hospital.

throwback to the time i told my mom i didn’t like wearing dresses and she got me one and told me if i didn’t wear it she would throw out my suit coat. the only thing i liked wearing which is fancy.

she took away my binder, my means of communication, and got the doctor to change my meds.

things haven’t been great now. the meds stopped working, i haven’t taken them in a week, and i haven’t slept in 3 days. actual all nighters. i can’t sleep. i don’t sleep with my phone or tablet near me. they are downstairs. i’m upstairs. so, there’s my life story, bitches. i have depression, ocd, adhd, asd, and extremely high anxiety. fun, right?

kill me now.

i do joel about suicide a lot. sometimes it doesn’t feel like a joke..

so, please don’t call anyone on me, i’m fine where i am. despite it not being the best.

i’ll see you in a few weeks, i guess. i’ll tag some people i know so that you know what’s going on..

<3

-kiko.

@tiny-nightmareblog @outer-this-world-sans @askdivanightmare @askreapersansthebestestsansever @nootmaresanssthe3rd

i think that’s all that i have been talking to enough to mention

(Life lessons...

As this is my second major drama on Tumblr, there will not be a third, if there is, I'm going bye bye.