Looking through my tumblr was a ride sorta I should get interests again
I guess my goal these past few months was to be acknowledged and that was always my end goal sorta just to be acknowledged
I mean I did get it sorta itās weird
I kinda miss when I was just posting and making art and writing thoughts for myself rather than just comparing myself to everyone in the history of ever and how Iām a failure and theyāre not
Then I was obsessing over Kanye west (mostly his music lol) drawing my ocs and making everything about Craig tucker how the fuck did I end up here
Realistically I love receiving attention for what I make whether it be people positively engaging with it or people just saying āI donāt like itā because even though both interactions seem different they really arenāt because in the end Iām being acknowledged they spent time looking at what I made and said something about it which is what i wanted
Being ignored is a bit more of an insult to me because that implies that what I made isnāt worth anybodyās time although it doesnāt reflect about how they feel about me personally because realistically we all are people behind a screen and we canāt like EVERYSINGLETHINGONTHEONTERNET and thatās bound to happen but idk man it sucks wanting to show my art and the person below me gets million times more recognition
I donāt wanna pretend Iām some tortured artist or poet because realistically Iām not Iām just a teenager on the internet with bad self esteem in a sea of teenagers with the same issue
But I have the belief that everyone I mean everyone needs atleast some encouragement to be truly motivated to keep going
Tldr dandys world gave me an existential crisis and idk if I wanna keep participating maybe this isnāt about dandys world itās about ME as a PERSON
I donāt know whatās become of this post Iām just gonna close off