#tw nonbinaryphobia

What really bothers me about the whole mspec gay and mspec lesbian debate is how quickly everyone forgets about nonbinary people because it becomes inconvenient to include us in it. Every single argument I see against it is a binary argument that claims lesbians and gays can’t be attracted to multiple genders, and everyone just conveniently forgets about nonbinary people because they immediately assume the multiple genders being talked about are binary ones. Being mspec means you’re attracted to multiple genders. It is incredibly telling when you say you hate mspec gays and lesbians and then say that lesbians and gays can be attracted to nonbinary people. I mean, you're really showing your whole ass. Either the labels lesbian and gay can be inclusive of mspec and nonbinary people, or they aren’t inclusive of either, but stop pretending nonbinary people don’t exist just because they’re inconvenient to your argument. It’s incredibly telling about how you really see us.

Honestly, I think the whole "I’ll date nonbinary people but only if they’re sapphic" thing is almost always a transphobic attempt to either push nonbinary people into a new binary, alienate unaligned nonbinary people, or an excuse to misgender or treat nonbinary people as women lite. I used to use the term sapphic when I started identifying as nonbinary because I was afraid that if I didn't, I would be seen as to confusing and therefore less desirable. During that time, I was constantly misgendered or had people assume I was ok with feminine terms that caused me dysphoria, especially when they were flirting with me. When I stopped using the term sapphic, the people who interacted with me completely changed. I used to have a lot of lesbians interact with me and that stopped almost completely. I was almost immediately alienated from any communities relating to my sexuality even the ones claiming to be inclusive of nonbinary people. But the thing is nothing about me changed; only the label I was using did. I didn’t become more or less nonbinary, and my gender didn’t change because I wasn’t using the term sapphic. I was still nonbinary. The point is I have never seen someone who says they will only date nonbinary people if they’re sapphic not treat the term sapphic like a gender (and typically as the gender women lite). I’m just very tired of people creating new binaries to shove nonbinary people into to make themselves feel more comfortable.