#tw hawk

Asexual Demiromantic Demiboy Name Association of Astor for anon

I hate when people say if you go into things optimistically then it’ll all work out bc I did everything my therapist suggested to do before a bday party I had to go to and it turned out to be a nightmare, just having to interact with people who were maybe once my friends but now are one big group and sit there quietly as they all spoke about inside jokes and things they did earlier that day, and the few times I tried joining in I’d be cut off by someone louder so I just stopped talking unless spoken to directly. and it was so loud and everyone was drinking while I technically shouldn’t so I got overwhelmed very fast. and when I left I said goodbye to the bday person and I was near tears and almost began to cry bc they asked if they could “embarrass me in front of everyone” (just meaning have everyone say goodbye) but the whole point was I wanted to leave without anyone noticing and yeah so I left and sat on the sidewalk curb outside my house crying for ten minutes. and then made pasta.