#tw flashbacks

The truck was packed, the house was empty and Robby stood in the driveway as they finished loading the car. Robby watched as Jen barked at Danielle, making him flinch.

“Danielle, behave!” Jen snarled.

“Danielle, listen to your mother.” Derrick groaned with a roll of his eyes.

Robby’s stomach was churning and bile rose in his throat.

Danielle wiggled in her mother’s arms, tears streaming down her face. She managed to escape Jen’s arms and ran straight for Robby.

He bent down and caught the girl in his arms, holding her tight. She grasped onto him, sobbing, burying her face in his neck.

“It’s okay. You’re okay.” He murmured to her, willing his voice to keep steady.

“I don’t want to go! I want to stay with you!” She cried.

“You have to go with your mom and dad. I’ll call all the time. I swear.” He kissed her cheek.

“I like you better.” She whispered.

“I love you, Ducky.” Robby sighed as he watched Jen march up to him. “You have to go with your mom. Be a good girl for me.” He pulled away from her. Jen yanked her from his arms. His heart shattered with the little girl's screams.

Robby did his best to keep up with her. He called every Saturday. He had gone to visit them a few times. Until one day, Derrick told him that Jen didn’t like him calling so much. He drifted away, unsure what to do. He still made sure to call on her birthday. He made sure she got something from him for Christmas.

He kept his distance. It had been nine years since he had last seen Danielle.

“Michael, if you don’t call whoever the fuck this is back, I’m breaking your phone.” Jack grumbled as he threw Robby his phone from the bed.

“Sorry, I didn’t hear it in the shower.” Robby sighed as he sat on the edge of the bed.

“Likely fucking story.” Jack huffed.

“You’re so cranky today.” Robby chuckled as he moved to lay next to him.

“Long shift last night.” Jack hummed as Robby pulled him into his chest.

“We both have the next week off. I think we should just relax.” Robby kissed Jack’s shoulder.

“I think of a few things that are relaxing.” Jack chuckled.

“Me too.” Robby nipped at his ear, his hands traveling down Jack’s body. His hands were dipping below the waistband of Jack’s sweatpants when the phone buzzed again.

“I swear to god, Mike!” Jack growled.

“I got it, I got it.” Robby grabbed the phone and answered without looking. “What?” He barked.

“Is this Michael Robinavitch?” A woman with a very professional cadence asked.

“Yes. Who is this?” Robby’s voice had a sting to it, upset by the sudden interruption.

“My name is Jessica Oscar. I’m a social worker in Cleveland. I’m working on Danielle Smith’s case.” She said. The name made Robby’s heart race.

“Danielle? Is she okay? What happened? Did something happen to Derrick?” The words rushed out of Robby.

“Mike, what’s wrong?” Jack sat up at the sudden agitation rolling off of Robby.

“I don’t know.” Robby hushed him.

“Danielle is okay. She is in our custody right now. Her teachers had alerted CPS to some suspicious injuries. Upon further investigation, we concluded that Derrick and Jen Smith had been abusing Danielle.” There was a sadness to Jessica’s voice.

“Oh my god. How bad? Stupid question.” Robby put his head in his hand.

“Not stupid. I can go over the details with you in person. But Mr. Robinavitch, you are her next of kin. We prefer to keep kids, teens especially, out of the system if we can. You’re her legal guardian now.” Jessica said. 

Robby felt like his throat was closing. He felt like he had been trampled by a bull. He hadn’t even thought about the fact that she would go to him. He hadn’t seen her in so long; now she was going to live with him.

“I…I don’t know what to say…”

“It’s a lot to process. We’ll help you as much as we can, due to funding there isn’t a lot we give you.”

“Oh, I understand. I work in an ER. I am well aware of how shit funding is for social work these days.” Robby huffed out a sad laugh. “I have a husband now, does that change anything?”

“Mike?”

“Give me a second, Jack.” Robby gave him a look to tell him he was okay and he’d explain.

“No. He’ll need to apply to be co-guardian if he wants to be on her contact forms for school and such. But that’s not overly difficult.” Jessica explained.

“Okay. Uh…we’ll make our way up there. It’ll be a few hours.”

“I’ll email over all the information you need. Mr. Robinavitch, don’t hesitate to call if you need anything.” Jessica ended the call.

Robby tossed the phone on the nightstand and stared out the window. His world had just exploded and expanded in ways he didn’t know were possible.

“Mike, if you don’t start explaining, I’m going to lose it.” Jack sat next to him, arms crossed.

“Danielle…my goddaughter, her parents were beating her. I’m her next of kin. She’s going to live with us.” Robby cleared his throat, rubbing his eyes.

“What?” Jack looked at him, shocked.

“Jack, she doesn’t have anyone. I should have fought harder for her. I fucking left her alone with them! Shit!” Robby tried and failed to stop the tears.

“Easy. There was no way for you to know they were hurting her. Not through the phone.” Jack pulled him into his arms.

“Fuck, we’re going to have a teenager.” Robby took a deep breath.

“We’ll need to get the guest room ready for her. Fuck. What the hell do teenagers need?”  Jack sighed as he swung himself to the other side of the bed to start getting his leg situated.

“I-I should call Dana. She has teenage girls. She’ll know, right?” Robby asked, feeling so far beyond his depths.

“Best we got.” Jack nodded.

Robby called Dana. He explained the situation to her. He gave her the rundown of what they had in the house and asked what they should get.

“Hell, Robby. That’s a lot to deal with.” Dana sighed through the phone.

“Yeah.” Robby gave a breathy chuckle.

“Look, I’m going to take my girls with me and we’ll do some shopping. Basic stuff. We’ll get the room set up for you while you go get her. The best thing to do is take her out to get her own things. She’ll need to feel at home.” Dana said.

“Okay. Thank you. Yeah.” Robby tried to breathe.

“Do you remember her favorite color?”

“Um, yeah. Green. She liked green. Or at least she used to. I don’t know. Why?”

“We’ll get her some linens. Want to make sure it isn’t completely off base.”

“We have linens.”

“Oh yeah, I’m sure a fifteen-year-old girl would like the same linens as two fifty-year-old men.” Dana snorted.

“Good point.” Robby chuckled.

“It’s important that she has something of her own. Brand new linens won’t feel as weird to sleep in.” Dana said.

“Thank you, Dana.”

“Course. Let me know if you need anything.” Dana hung up.

It was just over two hours to get to Cleveland. Robby did his best to give Jack all the information he could. He hadn’t really heard from them in years. Robby figured that at some point, they probably forbade Danielle from talking to him. She used to send him cards back after her birthday. They stopped years ago, though his didn’t.

“So, you have no idea what we’re walking into?” Jack asked.

“No. I remember her being a sweet little girl. I just hope they didn’t beat that out of her.” Robby swallowed the lump in his throat.

They pulled up to the CPS building. It was imposing and depressing. Jack jumped out of the car, Robby couldn’t move. Jack walked over and opened the door, his hand on Robby’s shoulder.

“She needs you, Mike. This is how you make up for lost time. This is how you make sure she only knows kindness and softness. You do that for her. Let’s go.” Jack nodded to the building.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Robby said as he got out of the car.

The lobby felt like a Cold War bunker. The Soviet air to the building made both men’s stomachs queasy.

“Hi. I’m Dr. Robinavitch. I’m here for Danielle Smith.” Robby said to the receptionist.

“Okay. I’ll let them know you’re here. Take a seat.” She didn’t look up at them but gestured toward the chairs.

“Cheery,” Jack whispered as they sat down.

“She’s going to hate me.” Robby sighed.

“Maybe. But it’s our job to keep her safe and happy. That’s what we focus on.” Jack rubbed his shoulder.

They sat waiting for another thirty minutes. Enough time for Robby to have a panic attack and relax and panic again.

“Mr. Robinavitch?” A middle-aged woman with a kind face came up to them.

“Yes, well, Doctor actually. Not important.” Robby said.

“Oh, I’m sorry. We’ll fix that in the system. I’m Jessica Oscar, we spoke on the phone.” She shook his hand.

“Hi. This is Jack Abbot, my husband.” Robby introduced.

“Hi.” Jack nodded.

“I wish we were meeting under better circumstances. Let’s go to my office and we’ll chat.” She smiled and led the way.

Her office was filled with prints of famous art pieces. There were plants on every surface and a couch in the corner. The chairs across from her desk were large and padded. She clearly made an effort to be as welcoming as possible.

“Take a seat.” She gestured to the chairs.

“What exactly was happening? I’m just having a hard time wrapping my head around all of this.” Robby asked as they sat down.

“I understand. From what we gathered Derrick and Jennifer had cut themselves off from most people who knew them; it would come as a shock that they were abusing their daughter.” Jessica nodded.

“They weren’t the best parents when I knew them, but they wouldn’t hurt her. It just…I’ve seen how this stuff works out. I know that it’s plausible. I’m not arguing any of that. It just feels sudden to me.” Robby sighed.

“I can assure you, no one thinks you’re defending them. There is a process that caregivers go through when they are suddenly thrust into their positions. I can go into the details if you’re ready?”

“Yes, please.” Robby looked to Jack, who nodded.

“Danielle’s teachers noticed bruising on her arms. She wasn’t able to give a firm answer on how she got them. She stopped wearing short sleeves, even on the warmer days. Her grades had been slipping and that’s when they asked for a wellness check. Our CPS officers arrived at the house to find that Derrick and Jen had been locking Danielle in her room when they weren’t home. They had a lock on the outside of her room. She had a mattress on the floor and a basket for her clothes. There was a bucket in the corner that she was forced to use as a bathroom.”

“Jesus Christ.” Robby felt himself crack. Jack held his hand.

“When we brought her to the hospital to have a full exam, we found scars and bruises across her whole body. Cigarette burns on her back, she told us that if she spoke out of turn, her parents would burn her. There was hitting and kicking. There is evidence of broken bones that were not properly healed on X-rays. They forced her to shave her head recently. They denied her use of the shower. She has been through a lot.” Jessica sighed.

“Please say that’s it,” Robby begged.

“That’s all we have on file. I urge you both to get her into therapy once she’s settled.” Jessica closed the file, folding her hands in front of her.

“We will. We are a pro-therapy household.” Jack nodded.

“Can I see her now?” Robby asked.

“Of course. Follow me.” Jessica walked out of the office.

Robby felt his hands start to shake. There was a fear about what he was about to see. He had an image of her in his mind, happy and smiling with curls falling around her cheeks. How different would she be?

“Danielle? I have Dr. Robinavitch here. Can we come in?” Jessica knocked on the door. There was barely audible squeak of confirmation. The door opened and in the sterile holding room, sat on the plastic bed in the bare room, was a fifteen-year-old girl. She was skin and bones, hair patchy from being carelessly shaved and skin dry and pale. She was holding onto a stuffed green dragon. The circles under her eyes made Robby’s heart break.

“Danielle, do you remember our conversation about Dr. Robinavitch being your guardian?”

“Yeah.” Her voice was rough and frail.

“He’s here to take you home.”

“Is that okay?” Robby asked. Danielle was going to answer, but her eyes flicked to Jack and her mouth closed.

“Sorry, that’s Jack. He’s my husband. He’s a big softy, promise.” Robby tried to smile.

“Unfortunately, very true.” Jack smiled.

“Okay.” Danielle nodded.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t here for you. It wasn’t fair to you.” Robby said, trying to keep it together.

“They said I couldn’t talk to you.” Danielle said.

“I should have fought harder. I’m sorry. I’m…we’re going to make sure you’re safe now. We’ll make sure nothing ever happens to you.”

“…Fuzzy…” A smile tugged at Danielle’s lips. “Fuzzier.”

“Yeah.” Robby chuckled. “I got fuzzier.” Danielle bolted up and wrapped herself around Robby. He held on tight.

“Missed you.” She sobbed.

“Missed you too.” He cried.

Once they got all the paperwork in order, they started the drive home. There was about an hour of awkward silence before Jack couldn’t take it anymore.

“Mike and I have a friend that’s getting your room ready for you. We’ll take you out to get clothes and stuff tomorrow. Is that okay?” Jack looked in the rearview mirror.

“Okay.” Danielle kept looking out the window. “You were gay?” She suddenly looked up at Robby.

“Bisexual, actually.” Robby corrected. “Does that bother you?”

“No. Mom used to call you a bad word. But I thought it was just because you cared and she didn’t.” Danielle shrugged.

“Yeah. Well, your mother and I never got along.” Robby grumbled.

“Not the time, Mike.” Jack nudged him.

“What do I call you?” Danielle asked.

“Whatever you want to. You can call me Mike or Robby or whatever you feel comfortable with. Same with Jack.”

“Why don’t you have the same last name?”

“We both work at the same place. It was going to be more hassle than it was worth.” Jack said.

“You sleep in the same bed?”

“We do. Yes.” Robby felt himself getting nervous.

“Can…can I get my hair fixed?” Danielle asked. Robby looked in the mirror and saw those big brown doe eyes that could always get him to do whatever she wanted all those years ago.

“Of course. We’ll take you somewhere nice. Full spa day type shit.” Jack said.

“Yeah. We’ll get you whatever you need to feel like yourself.” Robby nodded.

“Thank you.” Danielle scrunched into a ball in the backseat.

They walked into the house, Robby carrying the small backpack of Danielle’s things. She tiptoed in. The house was big to her. She looked around at the open concept kitchen and living room. The kitchen was small, but it had a double oven and electric stovetop. The living room had a large TV that took up most of one wall. It was sandwiched between bookcases that were overflowing with books. The walls were covered with pictures. A large leather couch took up most of the room.

“Your room is upstairs.” Jack nodded as he led the way.

The guest room had been transformed. The bed was adorned with dark green linens. There was a flower-shaped lamp on the bedside table.  On the bed was a small gift basket.

“Is that…for me?” Danielle looked up at them.

“Yeah. Dana and her girls like to give gifts. It’s how they show they care.” Robby smiled.

Danielle walked over to the basket and looked through it. There was some nice soap and shampoo. They had given her two different lotions and a travel-size kit of skincare. There was a note in it.

Dear Danielle,

We hope that this little starter kit will hold you over well enough until you can get what you actually like. Robby said you liked green, so the blankets are green and there is a set of green pajamas in the dresser. We hope it isn’t too much green.

If you need anything, just shoot a text. If you need a girl’s day, let us know! We’d love to show you around town when you’re ready!

-Dana, April, Morgan

Danielle held the card in her hand. Her shoulders shook as the sobs took over her body. She was so used to seeing the worst in people. It was too much to experience such kindness all at once.

“Danielle…” Robby reached toward her but she flinched away.  “Sorry. I’m sorry, I know better than that.”

“I’m sorry! I just…it’s a lot!” She looked up at him, fear etched into her face like it was her default state.

“You’re okay, Ducky. It’s okay. You can feel whatever you need to.” Robby said, fighting every reflex to hold her.

“Ducky…” she whispered.

“Sorry. You probably don’t want to be called that anymore.”

“I just…no one has called me that in a long time.” She kept her eyes on the floor.

“Why don’t you have a shower and we’ll order some food. Pizza okay?” Jack pulled Robby back from her.

“I like pizza.” Danielle nodded.

“We’ll get along just fine, then.” Jack smiled. “You have an attached bath. All yours, no one will use it. There is a lock on the inside of the bathroom and on this door. You control who has access to your space. We just ask that you answer when we knock, just for safety purposes. Do you need anything?”

Danielle shook her head.

“We’ll give you some space.” Robby smiled and left, closing the door behind him.

Danielle stood in the room, looking around it, feeling alien in the space. She started crying as she went to the bathroom to start the shower.

Robby and Jack sat on the couch. The day was weighing heavy on them. Jack had thrown on a movie for the sound more than anything. The colors flashing in front of them, like some kind of EMDR therapy.

“Pizza should be here in a few minutes.” Jack grunted.

“We can do this, right?” Robby took a deep breath.

“I mean…we don’t have a choice.” Jack ran his fingers through his hair. “But, I think we can do this. We just have to focus on making her feel safe. That’s all we need to worry about right now.”

“Okay.” Robby looked over at him and leaned down to kiss him. “I don’t think I could have handled this without you.”

“Bullshit. You’d have figured it out. But it’s nice to share the load.” Jack chuckled.

“True.” Robby smiled. “We’ll have to call HR and get her on our insurance and shit. Let them know we have a dependent now.”

“Yeah. We’ll have to figure out how to tell everyone. I say let Princess know and watch the news spread.” Jack smirked.

The sound of footsteps took their attention. Danielle came downstairs in her new sage green pajamas. Her patchy hair was still wet. She finally looked somewhat relaxed.

“Was the shower okay? Sometimes the water heater takes a while to kick in.” Robby sat up.

“It was good.” She nodded as she stood at the edge of the living room.

“Have a seat. Make yourself comfortable.” Jack moved closer to Robby to give her more than enough room on the L-shaped couch.

“Okay.” Danielle sat on the edge of the long side of the couch.

“We’ll take you shopping tomorrow. Get you some new clothes.” Robby smiled.

“We’re still looking at schools, but we’ll have you in one asap. I’m sure you want to get back to a normal routine.” Jack said.

“Sure.” Danielle nodded.

“Do you like school?” Robby asked, Jack shot him a cringey look. Robby shrugged at him.

“Yes. I like literature class the most.” Danielle said.

“So, you like reading? You can read anything on the shelves. I don’t think we have anything that would be inappropriate for you.” Robby rubbed the back of his neck.

“What’s that?” Danielle pointed at the TV.

“You’ve seen a TV, surely.” Robby looked at her, confused. Jack nudged him.

“That movie.”

“You’ve never seen Up?” Jack asked. Danielle shook her head.

“Well, it’s a kids' movie. It’s pretty good. We’ve got every streaming thing that exists, I think. If you want to watch anything, we can get it. You’re more than welcome to browse. Watch whatever.” Jack said.

“I can watch TV?” Danielle looked at them with wide eyes, like they had just offered her the world on a silver platter.

“Yeah, of course. We’re a pro-art, pro-science house. I’d avoid the reality shows, just for your own sanity.” Jack snorted. The doorbell went off and made Danielle jump.

“It’s just the pizza. Sit tight.” Jack jumped up and went to the door.

“I forgot to let you know, but there is practically a whole pharmacy in the bathroom down the hall. If you need anything, it’s there. Just don’t take anything with a prescription on it.” Robby tried to fill the silence. Jack back in with two big pizza boxes and three bottles of soda.

“Dinner is served.” Jack smiled as he set out the pizza on the coffee table. “I figured you’d be okay with pepperoni, but I got a supreme too. You’re welcome to either. We always order way too much food.”

“You eat on the couch?” Danielle asked.

“Sometimes. Pizza is usually our movie night meal. If you want, we can eat at the table.” Robby said.

“Whatever you prefer.” Jack said through a mouthful of food.

“No. This is okay. Just…sorry.” Danielle turned away to wipe the tears from her face.

“You’re going to feel a lot of big emotions; they're all valid. You don’t apologize to anyone for crying, but you never have to apologize to us.” Robby said.

“It’s tough. Going from one extreme to another. There is no correct way to go through it. You’re going to be okay. It’ll just sort of happen one day. But you don’t have to feel that way until that happens.” Jack said, sliding the pepperoni box over to her.

“Thanks.” She forced a smile.

The movie credits started rolling. Danielle had sat on the edge of the couch the entire time. She had eaten a single slice of pizza and sipped her soda. Jack had offered her ice cream, but she declined.

“I’m going to go to sleep now, if that’s okay,” Danielle said.

“Yeah. You can do whatever you need to. You don’t need permission to go to sleep.” Robby nodded.

“Goodnight,” Danielle said as she climbed the stairs.

“Night.” They called after her.

“It’s not always going to feel so tense.” Jack massaged Robby’s neck.

“I hope not.” Robby sighed.

Danielle woke up to the smell of coffee and bacon. She felt like laying in bed for the rest of her life, but knew she needed to eat. She pulled herself from the bed. She had a few pieces of clothing that weren’t completely torn. She pulled her jeans and black shirt on. She rummaged through her bag and found her beanie and pulled that over her head.

She made her way downstairs. Robby was piling pancakes on a plate. Jack was reading his iPad with his glasses on. There was a mound of bacon and a pitcher of orange juice on the table.

“Good morning!” Robby beamed at the sight of her.

“Good morning.” She nodded as she walked over to the table.

“Breakfast is ready when you are.” Robby nodded to the feast he had laid out. “Don’t get too used to this. We rarely make breakfast.” Jack cocked an eyebrow at Robby.

“I don’t usually eat breakfast.” Danielle shrugged.

“Well, I guess we’ll both have to be better about breakfast then.” Robby shot Jack a look.

“Did you sleep okay?” Jack sipped his coffee.

“Sure.” Danielle murmured. Robby put a plate full of food in front of her.

“It’s okay if you didn’t.” Jack said. “I know that it’s hard to sleep when you’re used to sleeping rough. The mattress is too soft, the blanket is too warm. The room is too damn quiet. I slept on the floor when I came back from my first tour.” Jack poured her some orange juice.

“You slept on the floor?” Danielle looked at him with furrowed brows

“Yep. The only way I could get some rest. Your body goes into survival mode and it’s hard to get it out of it. We have some stuff we can give you for sleep, if you want it.” Jack said.

“Maybe.” Danielle started eating her pancakes.

“We got you an appointment at a salon for tomorrow, by the way. Dana said it was a nice place. They seem to know what they’re doing.” Robby smiled.

“Okay.” Danielle nodded, her lip quivered.

“If it’s too much, you can let us know.” Jack said.

“I’m okay.” Danielle sniffled.

“It’s okay, if you aren’t. We can shop online. You pick it out, we pick it up.” Robby offered.

“I want to go out. I want to feel normal.” Danielle forced the food down her throat.

“Normal is relative.” Jack sat back, his hand landing on Robby’s thigh. Danielle watched them like she was at the zoo. She was studying them. She hadn’t seen such love in person before. She was being weird, but she couldn’t stop herself.

They had walked the whole length of the mall, letting Danielle pick which stores to go in. She finally landed on a trendy looking store. She was drawn in by the black knit sweater.

Jack and Robby stood watching her. Trying to give her space to make her own decisions. They watched her pick up the sweater, feel the texture and put it back. She picked up another, testing the fabric on her skin.

“Not finding anything?” Robby asked.

“I just…” Danielle chewed on her cheek, unsure how to say what was wrong.

“If you don’t like anything, we can go somewhere else.” He nodded.

“They look nice. But…the fabrics, they’ll catch on my scars and it’s uncomfortable.” Danielle picked at her cuticles. Robby watched as she drew blood.

“Okay. Let’s try another store.” Robby put out his hand for her. Danielle hesitated for a moment before taking his hand.

“I don’t want to be difficult.” She started biting at her lip.

“You’re not difficult. You don’t need to feel uncomfortable asking for what you need. I promise, we will never be upset about you needing something.” Robby squeezed her hand.

They went to a few more stores, finding a few things that Danielle liked. Robby could see the tension starting to loosen in her shoulders.

They sat in the food court, a feast of fried food in front of them. Jack was shoveling food in his mouth, a habit he never kicked from his military days. Danielle watched all the people chatting with their friends. It was fascinating to her.

“Do you feel like you’ll be ready for school next week? We can push it back. I worry about you being too far behind.” Robby thought out loud.

“I want to go back to school.” Danielle nodded as she picked at her fries.

“Okay. I’ve got a couple of places to call tomorrow. They sent us your records, you’ve got great grades. I don’t think it’ll be a problem getting you into a good school.” Robby nodded.

“It’ll give you a few weeks to make some friends before homecoming,” Jack said, sipping his coke.

“Oh. I guess.” Danielle shrugged.

“You don’t like dances?” Jack asked.

“Never been to one.” Danielle shoved a few fries in her mouth to try and avoid talking.

“That’s not something you need to worry about right now.” Robby reassured her.

“I was…I wanted…” Danielle felt the anxiety rising in her chest as she tried to ask for what she wanted. Red started creeping up her chest and throat.

“It’s okay. You can ask us for anything.” Jack nodded.

“I was thinking that…maybe Dana could take me to my appointment tomorrow? I just…might want a woman to help me.” Danielle took a big swig of her soda, the bubbles burning her throat.

“Yeah, of course. I’m sure she’d love that.” Robby smiled. “I’ll text her.” He pulled his phone out.

“She’d be better to ask an opinion of. I don’t think either of us has paid more than twenty bucks for a haircut ever.” Jack snorted.

“Dana said she’d be happy to go with. She’ll pick you up at noon tomorrow.” Robby watched her shoulders relax.

“Thanks.” Danielle sighed. She hissed and leaned forward, grabbing at her stomach. “Ow.”

“What’s wrong?” Robby and Jack were on their feet.

“Sorry. My stomach hurts really bad if I eat too fast.” Danielle groaned.

“How long has that been going on?” Robby asked as he looked her over.

“Years. I don’t know.” Danielle shrugged. “Mom and Dad told me it was because I was gluttonous. Ate too much.”

Robby and Jack shot each other a look. The rage rose in both of them.

“You’re not gluttonous. We should get you checked out by a GP anyway. But, they can run some tests, see what’s going on.” Robby told her.

“I’m fine.” Danielle scoffed.

“Honey, pain isn’t normal. If you’re having pain, it’s our job to stop it.” Jack said. Danielle was shocked at the sudden usage of pet names.

“He’s right. Any pain should be looked into.” Robby said. Danielle nodded silently as the tears burned her eyes. She felt the world closing in around her, the way the mall was too loud and too bright. The feeling of their pity-filled eyes bore into her.

“C-can we go home, please?” Danielle’s voice shook. Robby and Jack could see her body shivering with anxiety.

“Yes, of course. Let’s go.” Jack jumped up and grabbed the bags.

Danielle kept her head down, eyes trained on the floor as she marched out of the building. When the cool air hit her face, she finally felt like she could breathe.  

When they got home, Danielle ran up to her room. She closed the door with more force than she meant to. She collapsed on the bed, sobs wracking her body. She didn’t know how to be in their normal world. It was too soft.

“Maybe we should enlist Kiara in our efforts. I feel like we’re fucking this up.” Robby sighed as he flopped onto the couch.

“Probably right, about Kiara. I don’t know if there is a right way to do this. I should be better at this.” Jack ran a hand through his curls.

“We both should be.” Robby twirled the curls at the base of Jack’s neck. “Being hard on ourselves isn’t going to help her. If anything, it might make it worse.”

“True.” Jack leaned into his touch. “Did she always have those big brown eyes?”

“Yep. The kind that could get away with murder. She always had them.” Robby chuckled.

“Just like you.” Jack turned his head to kiss Robby’s forearm as his nails scratched at Jack’s scalp. Robby pulled him closer, leaning down to kiss him. Their lips met with delicate reverence, earned from years of learning each other.

The sweet moment was broken by the harsh screams from Danielle in her room. The two men sprinted up the stairs.

“Danielle!?” Robby tried the door, but it didn’t open. He knocked on the door. “Danielle, can you open the door?”

“Please! Don’t leave me in here! Please!” She cried. The door handle jiggled violently under Robby’s hand.

“The door is stuck. Fuck.” Robby hissed.

“Danielle, you have step back from the door. Can you do that? We’re going to open the door.” Jack’s voice was firm but there was an edge to it.

“Please! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

“Ducky! I need you to listen. Just take a breath for me, please.” Robby begged through the door. There was a silence on the other side of the door. “Good. We’re going to open the door, but you need to go sit on your bed. Let us know when you’re on the bed.”

“Okay…” Danielle crawled onto the bed. “I’m on the bed.”

“The door got jammed. We’re going to fix it.” Jack said before he lifted the doorknob and shoved his shoulder into it. The door lunged forward and opened.

Danielle was curled in a ball on the bed, tears streaming down her face. Her whole body was shaking.

“Ducky…” Robby gasped at the sight. Danielle looked up at him like she finally recognized him.

“Fuzzy, I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” She leapt into his arms.

“Hey, you’re okay. You didn’t do anything.” He held her tight and sat them down on the bed.

“I-I thought…I thought you locked me in because I was being difficult!” She sobbed into his chest.

“No. We’ll never do that. Never.” Robby’s voice shook as he fought the tears. “You are not difficult. You’re perfect.” He swayed them back and forth.

“It’s so hard!” She cried.

Narinder was the only sibling Shamura ever made the mistake of allowing their relationship to ever sway parental. When Kallamar got his crown they still had The Priestess around to raise them but with Narinder The Priestess was gone and Shamura was in their twenties now responsible for a five year old. For lack of a better term, Narinder was in the position to be failed the worst by them.

By the time Narinder has been saved from purgatory Shamura is more conscious and suffers less from their brain injury. They find it hard to do so much as look at each other.

Two-Bit bursts in the door, followed by Steve.  “God damn, it’s colder than a witch’s teat in here,” he crows.

Darry rolls his  eyes and groans.  “Not you, too.”  He glares at Steve, who’s now next to the thermostat.  “Don’t touch the thermostat, Randle!”

“Well, hate to tell you, Muscles,” Steve drawls.  “But either the thermostat’s broke, or your heater is.”

Darry goes pale, and stalks over to look at it.  Then he starts cussing up a storm.  Then he runs his hand through his hair aggressively, and when he turns he looks panicked.  “What are we gonna do?  We got a cold snap tonight.  And they’re gonna charge me my left arm to come out at this time of night.”

“At least you jerk it with your right?” Two jokes. 

Darry glares at him.  “Ain’t funny right now, Keith.”  He’s hyperventilating a little bit.  “Steve, you think you can help me fix it?” he asks desperately.

“I fix cars, not furnaces.”  Steve shakes his head.

“Dar, we’ll just have to huddle up tonight,” Soda tells him soothingly.  “We’ll turn the water on a trickle so the pipes don’t freeze, and we’ll stay warm.”

“The water bill…” Darry moans.

“It ain’t gonna be as bad as the emergency furnace man,” Soda tries to reassure him.  Then he grins.  “Pony will just have to cut down on the 45 minute showers.”

Steve gives Pony a shit-eating grin.  “What you doing in there for 45 minutes, Ponyboy?”

Ponyboy turns bright red.  “Shut up, Steve.”

“Anyhow,” Soda interrupts before they can go any further with arguing, “you know what this means?”  He has a huge smile on his face, and he bounces on his heels.  Everyone just looks at him.   “Cuddle puddle!”

“That’s it,” Steve says dramatically.  “You’re outta the gang.”

Soda pouts.  Actually pouts.  “Would y’all be more excited about it if we called it a blanket fort?”

“Slightly, yes,” Steve says drily.  “Last I heard, tough guys don’t cuddle.”

Soda grins mischeviously.  “That ain’t what Evie tells me.”

“Stop gossiping with my girl!”

“But it’s fun,” Soda sighs.

“Well, at least quit gossiping about me.”

“But you’re our common interest!” Soda protests.

“I hate you so much.”

“No you don’t,” Soda says with a grin.  “Anyway, blanket fort it is.  Darry, you can reach the top shelf-“ Darry snorts at that.  “So you’re on supply runs with me.  Pony, you and these jokers are on assembly."

“On it,” Two-Bit says with a salute, and Ponyboy grins as Soda drags Darry toward the bedrooms.

Approximately thirty minutes later, Soda is still dragging Darry around the house lamenting that “surely there are more blankets,” while Darry continues to protest that they have gotten “every damn blanket in the house already, and they got more than enough.”

Pony is securing another part of the blanket, with Two trying to help from the inside.  Steve is mostly arguing with Pony about “structural integrity.”

“Pepsi, I ain’t going up to the attic,” they hear Darry say, exasperated, and Ponyboy and Steve both stifle laughter at that.

“But you’re our guardian, Darry,” Soda moans.  “We need warmth.”  Soda gestures wildly.  “Look at our poor kid brother, man.  He’s freezing.”

Ponyboy bites his lip to keep from laughing, giving Darry a sad look and a nod.  Soda gives Ponyboy a thumbs up behind his back.  Darry groans, and starts to trudge up to the attic with Soda bounding behind him. 

Ponyboy enters the fort, while Steve complains that it is “absolutely structurally unsound in there” before following him in.

They sit, and Ponyboy immediately feels uncomfortable.  He can’t put his finger on why, exactly, because they used to do blanket forts all the time when they were little.  He looks around at the small amount of blankets they decided to leave inside the fort, and the pillows, and at Steve and Two-Bit.

It hits him like a sledgehammer to the chest, and then suddenly he can’t breathe.  He feels lightheaded, and kinda like he’s underwater.

He used to make blanket forts all the time when he was little…with Johnny.

The last time he slept on a blanket on the floor was at that church in Windrixville.

His mind starts to cycle.  The fountain.  Dally’s room.  The train.  The church.  Then he’s remembering how terrified he and Johnny were, and how Johnny held him and they just cried.  He’s remembering the fire, and he swears he can smell the goddamn smoke.  He’s seeing Johnny’s last breath, and watching Dally break. 

“Pony!” Steve is yelling at him almost, shaking his shoulder.  Ponyboy startles and looks at him, wide-eyed.  He looks between Steve and Two-Bit, hyperventilating and trying not to break down and bawl.  Steve looks worried, and then pulls Ponyboy into a hug.  Pony is still trying to calm down, but he clings to Steve, fisting his shirt.   He wonders for a second if he’s hallucinating, or passed out or something, because Steve is rubbing his back trying to be comforting, and talking to him in a soothing tone that Pony has never heard from him. 

He reaches a shaking hand up, wiping his face, and is embarrassed that his cheeks are damp.  He tries to stop his breath from hitching, and stays pretty much collapsed against Steve’s chest.  And then he feels Two-Bit wrap an arm around him from the other side.

Gradually, he starts to really breathe again.

A few minutes later, Soda pops into the fort with a couple of blankets in his arms and a very annoyed Darry trying to crawl into the fort behind him.

“You started the cuddle puddle without me?!?!” Soda shrieks.

Steve just reaches an arm over and tugs Soda down next to him.  “Just get over here.  Good Lord.”  Soda still looks offended, and Steve wraps an arm around his neck and pulls him into the pile.  “Quit being a baby.  Over there in hysterics.  Just get in the damn pile,” Steve says with fond exasperation.

“Come on, Darry.  Over here on the other side of me,” Two-Bit says, patting his hand on the floor.

“You just want to be in the middle cause it’s warmer there,” Darry retorts.

“Exactly,” Two-Bit says with a grin.  “Now get a move on.  Faster than a speeding bullet, my ass.”

They make it through the night reasonably comfortably, despite the fact that the fort gets knocked down twice and has to be rebuilt due to too much horsing around.  Or as Two-Bit insists on calling it, “Ponyboying around.” 

Steve and Two-Bit don’t say a word to Soda or Darry about what happened when Pony first got into the fort.  Ponyboy doubts that he, or any of ‘em really, will ever stop missing Johnny or Dallas.  But he’s awful grateful for the family he’s still got.