#tw!angst

        Alone. That is what he was. In his bed, all alone. Where are they, Kuroo wondered, where did they go? They should be in bed with me. 

        Alone. That is what he was. In his bed, all alone. Where are they, Kuroo wondered, where did they go? They should be in bed with me. 

        Alone. That is what he was. In his bed, all alone. Where are they, Kuroo wondered, where did they go? They should be in bed with me. 

          Kuroo slowly gets up from bed, swinging his legs from his bed. He was going to look for you. They must’ve left the bed to get water or something, Kuroo thought. Trudging his way to the kitchen, Kuroo notices that it’s dark. Shouldn’t they have turned on the lights, Kuroo wondered, I don’t remember them ever not turning on the light.  

         Kuroo raises his hand to turn on the light, immediately being welcomed with no one and the bright light. He shields himself from the light, and when he gets used to the light he puts his hand down. Where are they? They should be here, Kuroo thought, are they out? Maybe I should look around the house first. After Kuroo looks around the house he concludes that you aren’t home.

“I should call them, then I’ll be able to know where they are,” Kuroo thought out loud, “where’s my phone?”

          It’s in my, no, our room; my phone should be on the nightstand near where I sleep. In front of his nightstand, Kuroo reaches for his phone, 3:21 it says, 19%. That should be enough time to call them and ask them where they are. 

          Kuroo clicks on the call app and searches for your name. 

“Babe please pick up,” he says to himself.

          At the end of the line, he hears your voice, but it’s only the voicemail. He gets very worried when he only hears your voicemail, but it soothes him because it’s your voice. God, he wanted to hear your voice so bad, but not just your voicemail, he wanted to hear you. If only he could hear your voice.

          Kuroo is scared and worried for your safety, not only are you out, but you left without telling him where you were going! Where would you go at this hour at the night? Alone even! He knew that you had a tendency to not tell anyone where you were going alone, so he decided to look for you.

          He proceeded to walk to the front door and put on his shoes, then hastily grabbing his coat and putting it on. Kuroo then progressed to the door grabbing onto the doorknob and turning it. 

          Kuroo, now outside your guy’s house, was contemplating where you were or where you would go at this time of night. 

“Ah, the forest near the river!” He cheers quietly, happy that he knew where you were.

          He runs to the river as quickly as he can. Now that he knew where you were he was going to come grab you and take you home. Kuroo was grinning ear to ear, the thought of you always made him happy but he never showed it. Well to you, to his friends he would always brag about being in love and how much you made him happy.

          Kuroo has now stopped at the forest near the river six minutes away from your house. 

Kuroo chuckled lightly, “(Name) where are you?”

          Although, to Kuroo he already knew where you were. You were at the tree with both, Kuroo and your initials on it. He walks straight, then turns left, and takes a right, and there was.... nothing. You weren’t seen anywhere. You weren’t here. Nothing was here except for the tree with your guy’s initials.

“(Name)...where are you?” Kuroo asks out loud timidly, “Just where are you?”

“(Name)!” He called out, “(Name) this isn’t funny, where are you?”

"(NAME) PLEASE WHERE ARE YOU?! PLEASE COME OUT!” Kuroo cried yelling.

          He walked toward the tree with both your initials. Tracing the initials with his finger. 

“(Name)....”

          Kuroo walks behind the tree to see a stone.

“What’s this?” he questioned, “This wasn’t here before.”

          And there you were sitting peacefully with your eyes closed beside the rock that said...

                                Here Lies (Last Name) (First Name)

                        A Young Soul Who Died On March 21, 2019

    They were a coworker, a daughter/son/pronoun for a child, and a lover

                                           May They Rest In Peace

          Kuroo stands there with an angry, sorrowful expression. 

“No! NO THIS ISN’T- THIS ISN’T REAL!” 

“THEY’RE ALIVE, THEY HAVE TO BE! THEY WERE HERE YESTERDAY WEREN’T THEY!?” He yelled with pure sadness.

“(Name), (Name) please where are you?” Kuroo was whimpering now.

          You smiled softly at him, “I’m right in front of you what are you talking about?”

          Kuroo couldn’t hear you, he also could no longer see you. Kuroo was yelling, screaming, crying for you to come back! He didn’t believe it, he didn’t want to believe it. He couldn’t live with it. He didn’t want to live knowing you weren’t alive.

          For the past year and a half, Kuroo had been avoiding places that had to do with you. He wouldn’t go to the river, the forest, the place he wanted to marry you at, your workplace, your favorite restaurant, any place that you two had gone together and enjoyed it. He would relish in your clothing and your cologne, and your pillow. He was scared, he didn’t want the person he loved to be dead, so he convinced himself that you were alive. Kuroo would make your favorite dishes, favorite meals for you. He would leave a plate for you then eat it at night when you weren’t there. 

          “P-please (Name) please come out,” he whimpered and cried now on the floor.

          But it was no use, you were dead and the dead don’t ever come back to life. Even when you beg or scream, they don’t come. They’ll never come. 

          And Kuroo knew this. He knew you wouldn’t come back no matter how much he screamed and cried. He knew that you wouldn’t come back to hug him or kiss him one last time. He knew you would never say “I love you” again. He knew that you were gone forever. You weren’t going to come back. 

          So he stood up, wiped his tears, sat down, and paid his respects. Kuroo will miss you. He knows you won’t be there to kiss his tears away. When Kuroo wakes up the next morning, you won’t be there, you won’t be with him. And he can only cry again at your grave.

          “I’ll see you in my next life (Name),” Kuroo whispers, “so this time don’t die on me. Don’t leave me alone to cry in bed. Don’t leave me alone by myself. I wouldn’t be able to handle it. You know how sensitive I am when it comes to you.”

He lets out an airy laugh, “Don’t leave me this time and I won’t leave you.”

          He says his goodbye and stands up. Kuroo looks at your grave one more time and smiles. It wasn’t a smile that showed sadness, no his eyes showed his sadness, the smile he wore was pure-hearted, one that showed his love for you. He takes his leave but right before whispering, I love you.

          You stare at him fondly one last time. This would be the last time you would see him right in front of your ghostly eyes. Ghostly tears start to well up in your eyes and you know that he’ll be fine. He’ll love you as long as he lives but you know that you won’t be containing all his thoughts. Kuroo will find another and you will be forgotten at your grave. Maybe he’ll visit you every year but you know that when he falls in love again you won’t see him. And that, that will be the time you know you won’t be fine. Kuroo will fall in love again and he’ll move on, and you’ll be here at the same tree with both Kuroo and your initials. 

          “I’ll miss you Kuroo Tetsuro.”

“And I’ll love you forever.”

“And I’ll wait for you.”

“So until then...”

“I’ll be right here.”

I hope you enjoyed ~ ♡