#tuesday task

Doing a weekly grocery shop is one of those things that lots of us think we should be doing, but… well, it can be difficult. It’s easier to just grab things as you need them, right? It can be, but if you commit to doing a weekly grocery shop, you’ll wind up saving time AND money. That’s wins all around! Here’s how you do it.

1) Have a designated list-spot

Having a place (ideally in your kitchen) where you write down the food you need to buy as you run out of things will make a big difference to the ease of your grocery shop.

2) Know your staples

Your staples are the food items you always want around. What those are will depend on you. For me, it’s eggs, milk, butter, flour, sugar, pasta or rice, frozen vegetables, and oatmeal. These are the things I ALWAYS want available – so first step to a weekly grocery shop is double checking how I’m doing on those. Any of them running out or running low? Add ’em to your list.

3) Figure out your meals

This is the part of weekly grocery shopping that can feel overwhelming. Planning out your meals for the whole week? Ugh!

Here’s the trick: That doesn’t mean you need to plan out seven meals for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Instead, first think about what you actually eat at home. For me, I eat breakfast and dinner at home regularly, and occasionally lunch. That means I need reliable breakfast and dinner options and enough extra from dinner that I can sometimes have leftovers for lunch.

For breakfast, it’s mostly a matter of having the right stuff available. Get some eggs, some oatmeal, some cereal, or whatever you like, and you’re set!

For dinner, think about how many meals you actually need to plan for. I normally only plan two meals a week, but I cook them in huge batches and alternate which ones I’m eating. It’s a way to do way less work (and get more savings – buying in bulk, woot!) with the same outcome.

Protip: Start making a list or recipe box of dinners you like, ones that are easy to make. You can do this week by week, as you make them. Then when you need to grocery shop, you just pick your dinners for the week from your list. Super easy!

4) Account for snacks

I don’t know how much of a snacker you are or aren’t. But if you are, make sure to factor that in to your shopping! Otherwise you’ll be sad. And that’s no fun.

5) Check your budget

Make sure that this weekly shop keeps you on track, budget-wise, with how much you’re planning to spend on groceries each week. Over-budget? Think about what you can trim, or if there are cheaper alternatives you can substitute for some of your purchases. Under-budget? Great! Throw in a treat or two for yourself, or bank it for a big splurge later in the month.

It can be hard at first to tell how you’re doing on your budget, if you’re not used to how much things cost. Looking up prices beforehand or using an online grocery-ordering service (I use Amazon Fresh) can help a lot to keep you on track.

6) Go shopping

Go shopping with your list in hand, and stick to your list! Only deviate if you need to replace something on your list, see a cheaper option, etc. But remember that you already put everything you need for the next week on that list – so no impulse buys are necessary!

7) Feel proud

Hey! You just did a full, week’s-worth grocery shop. Just like a real grown-up. Go you!

Do you have trouble planning your grocery shopping in advance? Any tips for people who do? Let me know with a comment or by tweeting me @ShaerlinSpeaks.

Pitstop!

Stop scrolling and reset. Doesn't it feel good to stretch?

Today's task is to get up and move!

Stretching, yoga, going on a walk, dancing around the house... all these things are small ways you can move to improve your mood :D

Jeremiah’s Food Haul - L.A. Style

Being comfortable with yourself – enjoying spending time alone – is one of the building blocks to good relationships. It lets you figure out what you actually like (independent of other people) and makes you more secure. But how do you enjoy spending time alone, if it’s never been nice for you before?

What do you enjoy doing?

One of the hardest things about enjoying your alone time, if you’re new to it, is figuring out what to spend your time doing. One approach? Make a list of things you know you enjoy (reading, playing video games, cooking… whatever it may be!). Then if you’re wondering what to do you can just refer to your list!

Assess your resources

Be realistic about your time, money, and energy. There are things that are reasonable to do with other people, like cooking a huge dinner together, that just aren’t as feasible or nice when alone. Being realistic about what you can’t (or don’t want to) do alone will save you a lot of upset.

Alone doesn’t mean lonely

Worried you can’t spend time alone, because you’ll instantly get lonely? Here are some ways to avoid that:

Do something engrossing. Loneliness requires you to be aware of something other than what you’re doing, so the more focus your activity takes, the less likely you are to be lonely.

Create background noise. Whether it’s music or a TV show, having background noise going will stop your brain from the “it’s too quiet” cue that can trigger loneliness.

Use warmth. One reason your brain will start telling you that you’re lonely is because it wants warmth… and connects that with other people. Cuddling up in a blanket, having a warm beverage, or using a heating pad will help you get around that brain-glitch.

Be selfish

Enjoy a huge benefit of spending time alone: you don’t need to please anybody but yourself. Want to listen to the same song on repeat 50 times? Do it! Have a TV show you love that all your friends hate? Binge it right now! Embrace your selfishness and really enjoy your alone time. You’ll be surprised how much fun it can be!

What are your favorite alone-time activities? Any tips for people struggling with spending time alone? Let me know with a comment or by tweeting me @ShaerlinSpeaks.

When people talk about networking, it always sounds so hard right? Good news! You already have a network.

It’s way easier to keep connections than create new ones, and the connections you already have can quickly lead to more. So here’s how you network with people you already know to make your existing network work for you!

Step 1: Who is in your network?

Make a list of everybody who thinks well of you.

Include friends, family, neighbors, coworkers, past teachers, etc. This list should be exhaustive.

Step 2: Who do you talk to regularly?

Split your list into people you already talk to regularly, and those you don’t. Keep the complete list somewhere to refer to for when you want to use your network, but for right now we’ll focus on the people you don’t talk to regularly.

Step 3: Make contact with people you talk to rarely

For everybody on your list who you’re not often in contact with (let’s say… if you haven’t been in contact with them within the last 6 months), get in contact. Here are some tips for making that not be super awkward:

Congratulate them about something in their life that you saw on facebook.

Send them a link to an article you think they’d like

Tell them you were thinking of them and share a positive memory

Ask after something or someone important to them

Don’t ask for anything from them right now – give something to them instead. Reaching out like this is about maintaining those relationships.

And… pssst… contact them in a one-on-one way. No group texts or posting on their facebook wall. Calling, texting, or a facebook message are all fine though.

Step 4: Repeat every 6 months

Set a reminder on your phone calendar to reach out to people once every six months. That’ll stop it from being annoying to the people you don’t know very well, but still maintain those connections. It’s way easier to keep a connection than create one, so you want to take advantage of the ones you already have!

Step 5: Once the relationship is well established, use your network

Feel free to ask people for help once the relationship is well established – that is, once you’ve had at least 2-3 interactions without you asking for anything. One of the best things to ask for early on is introductions – it’s an easy way to grow your network, since an introduction makes people waaaayyyy more likely to pay attention to you.

And remember that a network is give-and-take: you should be helping them at least as much as they help you! In fact, trying to proactively help people in your network is a great idea. So take the time to think about what you can connect other people in your network to, and they’ll definitely want to stay in touch.

Now go forth, and network the easy way! :)

Do you consider networking important? How do you handle doing it? Let me know with a comment below or a tweet @ShaerlinSpeaks!

Step 1: Double check that you’re registered to vote.

You can verify that you’re registered here.

Not registered yet? Do so online now!

Step 2: If you’re in a state with ID requirements, make sure you have yours.

Check here to see state ID requirements and make sure you have the documents your state demands (if any).

Step 3: Know where and when to vote, and make sure you’ll have the time to!

If you’re voting via absentee ballot, you’ll take care of it at home. In all other cases (as long as you haven’t already applied for an absentee ballot), you’ll be voting at your local polling place.

Where is your local polling place? You can find out from your state’s website or (most easily) from Google, here. If it doesn’t have your polling place available yet, it’ll link you to state websites that will help.

Make sure to schedule yourself time to vote! Remember: election day is November 8. You can find polling place hours by state at this website under the “polling place hours” information tab.

Step 4: Decide on your presidential candidate.

If (somehow) you’re still unsure about this, check out this chart of the candidates’ positions.

Step 5: Decide on your down-ballot candidates and measures.

These are the items other than the presidential race which will be on your ballot when you go to vote. You can find information about the ones in your state here.

Step 6: Go vote on election day!

You got this!

Are you ready to vote? What are your top voter resources? Let me know with a comment or by tweeting me, @ShaerlinSpeaks!

Step 1: Who do you owe an apology to?

Our minds are set up to tell us we’re right. (Seriously, there are psychological biases about it.) But if we want to have good relationships with each other, we need to acknowledge people we’ve hurt. So take a second: who have you hurt recently? Who might you owe an apology to?

Step 2: Of those people, who will an apology help?

There’s this one person I knew in college where I still cringe when I think about a specific thing I said to her. (Mostly at 3am of course, thanks brain!) But here’s the thing: apologizing would be for me, not for her. It wouldn’t make her feel better – it’d just bring up that I was awful to her all over again. The only benefit of apologizing is that it would make me feel better. So I haven’t, because I don’t think apologies should be selfish.

A good apology is for the sake of the person receiving it, not the one giving it. So of the people you might still owe an apology, think about who an apology would actually help. Protips: People you still are in contact with, people who have recently withdrawn from you, and people who you know are still upset about what you did/said are all good options.

Step 3: Decide on your communication method

If it’s somebody you see regularly, I suggest in person. Otherwise, either phone or email can work. That depends on how you communicate best and what their preferences are. But pick how you’re going to apologize, in terms of literally transmitting the apology, before you move on to what you’re going to say.

Step 4: Make a good apology

A good apology has three basic steps:

An acknowledgement of fault/action – “I realize that I did X.”

An acknowledgement of how it affected the other person and that their feelings are valid – “I see now that when I did X, it made you feel Y. I completely understand that.”

A plan for the future – “In the future, instead of doing X and making you feel Y, I will instead do Z. Will that work better?”

So let’s say you’re apologizing for saying something mean without thinking about it. Here’s one way that could go:

“I’m so sorry that I was thoughtless and mean to you the other day. I can see that it really upset you, and understandably so. In the future, I’ll be sure to think more carefully about what I’m saying—and apologize in the moment if it happens again!”

Step 5: Don’t expect anything from them

While an apology can lead to the person saying “oh, of course I forgive you!” and a movie-style hug, it’s likely not to. An apology is something you’ve given this person, not something you’ve traded for them forgiving you. Make your apology, and don’t expect anything directly in return for it. Making them feel better—making up for what you said or did—was the goal. And you’ve already accomplished it.

Do you find apologizing difficult? How do you usually do it? Let me know with a comment or by tweeting me, @ShaerlinSpeaks!