#tua shitposts

Ben: so.... why did you put crow's feathers in the fridge?

Klaus: absolutely no reason at all. I just want to keep them guessing.

five

the teens' desires have been noted

better go to sleep since it's past my bedtime in the nursing home

understandable, fuck off

this punctuation is the only thing that understands me

*signals the bartender* i'll have your finest juice pouch

i t ' s    m u r d e r     t i m e

klaus

gagging on nothing,, what am i to do when i've got a mouth full of dich

i'm kin with blingee

assigned goth at birth

i don't need alcohol to make me stupid, i already am

people who "die" but don't stay dead have commitment issues, sus :/

by leaving me a jesus email you have personally withered my jesus boner

yeah i'm very tired not my best worm

hey can you mcpause

ben

ur calling us plates which is just a veiled way to call us flat faced and therefore i assign you racist

is it the dying, because i'm still better at it

the past tense of freak should be froke

nice to know my body has my back

i pronounce it like en es fwhee

get scrambled bitch

for some reason i've started typing haha instead of keysmashing like a top or something

occasionally i obey the laws of physics

vanya

i'm GAY: getting a yogurt

one garlic fri please i'm so lonely

CAUSE EVERYTIME WE TOUCH, I GET THIS FEELING AND EVERYTIME WE KISS I SWEAR I SHOULD DIE CAN'T YOU HEAR MY HEART BEAT FAST, A PANIC ATTACK, NEED YOU BY MY SIDE

yes but my fear is the only thing greater than my gayness

(upon meeting leonard) it's been a good run but i'm heterosexual now

diego

cause i'm tap tap tapping on dat ass

don't pay for dad's funeral that's money that could go into college

somebody once told me the world was macaroni i ate the sharpest tool in the shed

if you cannot defend your honor you have already lost

(about klaus) woah woah woah too much kink not enough space

nah b you suck my dick i am the definition of big dick energy

bi means bitch not bisexual

you're a gringa causing problems on my server with your mayonnaise ways

allison

*rolls eyes into another dimension*

smh coming in here... spilling lipstick in my valentino white bag

babe i'll chop myself in half so you can cuddle .5 of me i'll do it NO balls

luther

i'm being roasted and i don't like it

*gulps down a gallon of father*

friendship ended with FATHER now DADDY is my best friend