#tsuris

TSURIS-RUST

My mom was supposed to pick me up and take me to the garden center to get mulch this week, and when I called because it was obvious she was running late, it turns out she’d been distracted by something being not right with my dad.  And she couldn’t exactly explain what.  As in, 

me: Mom, when you say there’s tsuris, what do you mean?

mom: Tsuris means “trouble” or “upset.”

me: Mom, I know the English meaning of tsuris, what I don’t know is what you are trying to tell me is happening when you use the word tsuris to describe it.

mom: Oh.  Well, Daddy’s been in bed all day, and he doesn’t feel well, and he keeps going back and forth to the bathroom, and won’t tell me what’s wrong, and I thought we should call his doctor, and when I asked him who his primary care physician was, he said he didn’t know.

Mom’s thought process is now a wild mixture of adult and child-like problem-solving due to brain changes.

Long story short, I decided to go over there and find out if we had a genuine problem or not, and because it was pouring rain, I called a rideshare.  Dude had the entire backseat sealed off with a large piece of plastic taped in place.  Made sense to me, I made double sure to pick the option where I wouldn’t share the ride with any other passengers.

Got to Mom and Dad’s in no time.  Did a disinfection routine when I arrived, sat down to cuddle the dog for a minute because she’s climbing my leg and because Mom adores the elaborate welcome dog dance for me, and suddenly, there’s Dad in the kitchen.

He announces he’s finally manage to drop a deuce, makes a hand gesture that suggests a decent trout or really big burrito, says he feels much better, and wants his oatmeal for lunch. Also, he yelled at my mom for not specifying which doctor of his she was asking about, and made their entire exchange around that ‘her fault.’ 

I’ve known my entire adult life that I did not want children. 

Word of the Day

Smash Bros Senpai: why you let grubs eat your food by math

Smash Bros Senpai: ALSO WHAT THE FUCK IS ALL THAT SHIT

frictionlessemu: what the fuck is all of what shit :p

Smash Bros Senpai: HOW DOES ANY OF THAT MAKE SENSE TO YOU?!

frictionlessemu: oh the thing on the screen behind the kanaya and latula eating noodl3z

Tsuris: space madness

Smash Bros Senpai: THAT MATH BULLSHIT

frictionlessemu: it's an algorithm for efficiently computing special values of L-functions

frictionlessemu: sheesh

Smash Bros Senpai: yeah the noodles look good

Smash Bros Senpai: im jelly

Smash Bros Senpai: :P

Smash Bros Senpai: THE MATH ON THE OTHER HAND

Smash Bros Senpai: what the fuck is an l-function

frictionlessemu: a function defined by a Dirichlet series, usually denoted with the letter L

Smash Bros Senpai: what is its purpose

frictionlessemu: it encodes information about arithmetic objects >:]

Smash Bros Senpai: so there's literally a math function with the specific purpose of encoding math functions

frictionlessemu: for instance the simplest L-function is called the Riemann zeta function and it tells you all about how frequently prime numbers occur :0

Smash Bros Senpai: so how frequently do they occur

frictionlessemu: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prime_number_theorem#Statement

Tsuris: you get that witchcraft out of this chat right now

Smash Bros Senpai: fuckin jesus christmas

Smash Bros Senpai: math is nothing short of satan worship

*** Smash Bros Senpai sprays holy water on you ***

a tiny angry megido: god

a tiny angry megido: that's too fucked up

Tsuris: i can one up that

Tsuris: heterosexual, consensual sex in the missionary position for the purpose of reproduction

Smash Bros Senpai: HEY

Smash Bros Senpai: WE DON'T

Smash Bros Senpai: TALK ABOUT THAT HERE

Tsuris: because vampire

PEAR IDIOT: FUCK

PEAR IDIOT: YOU'RE RIGHT