#tshd thoughts

you stab me (with the intention to kill)

you beg me to kill you

his best friend is dead. his first love. his oldest friend. dead. he was the last one to see him, cold and still on that wooded mountain. before he changed.

the next time yoshiki sees hikaru, he isn't his best friend. he isn't his first love. he is not his oldest friend. that hikaru is dead. the one standing in his place- "hikaru"

he wasn't a monster at all, he was different from humans, yes, but he was filled with a childlike wonder that yoshiki wanted to protect. he was filled with joy, and love for the world, despite all of it's flaws. a world without hikaru isn't something worth loving from yoshiki's eyes- but "hikaru" did it so easily. "hikaru" showed yoshiki a new way to see the world. a new way to live. yoshiki loved teaching "hikaru" new things about the world. he loved talking to him, walking with him, doing everything with him. he got happy with him as his friend. yoshiki loves "hikaru".

and then he remembers.

he remembers that the only reason he knows "hikaru", is because his hikaru is dead. dead. he's dead. how can he enjoy the time spent with "hikaru" knowing that it wouldn't exist were hikaru still alive? still here, with yoshiki? would he trade it? if he could bring hikaru back, but sacrifice "hikaru"... would he? could he? he wants to believe that he would. he would do anything to have his hikaru back.

i’ve been seeing what people on tiktok are saying about that scene in ep 2…..to everyone saying “that is NOT how you react to a pat on the head” let’s not forget that ‘hikaru’ is NOT human and like he’s never had a body before, so maybe head pats are only physical affection he can compare it to. plus from reading the manga it seems to me like he processes things in a more animalistic way sometimes (a dog or cat might really like a good head pat or scratch behind the ears, humans not so much)