#truedge

[Image ID: 3 additional asks submitted by OP, truedge, that read the following:

You're an amazing artist and a brilliant writer. You’ve always put so much detail into everything you write, leaving nothing unsaid. You make it so easy to imagine exactly what is happening in your fics and articles. I can just close my eyes and I'm there. Your art is always a joy to look at every time you show it to me and I treasure the drawings you have made for me in the past. It's amazing how fast you can draw things and still have them come out really good.

I check your blog everyday to see if you've got any new posts to share with us and always get excited to see something new. I'm so proud of what you have and are continuing to accomplish and I couldn't be happier for you. I'm sure in the future you'll have many times as many followers as you do now and you deserve every- one one of them. It truly is rare to find someone with your level of passion, and I love and appreciate it so much ❤️ Thank you for everything you do here, for helping more people know just how badly Bones screwed Arthur, for getting me into BSD, for all the amazing posts and most importantly for being such a loving and caring person who means the world to me. I wish you the best, sweetheart, and hope this blog will only continue to grow so more people can appreciate all your hard work ❤️

Okay, so this is an exceedingly late response lmao (as many other asks I will answer here will be, as I finally attempt to empty out my inbox), but seriously, thank you for these asks. 

I’ve been letting these sit in my inbox for a very long time for a couple of reasons, but the major one being largely that I didn’t want to half-ass my reply to it by trying to rush it out quickly. As with all of the asks of this nature, I wanted to make my time with it and show my appreciation back to the person who would send such a lovely and thoughtful message, and given how much longer this one was compared to the average, I thought it deserved equally as great of a reaction.

So…thank you so incredibly much for your words. I’ve read them many times now, over the months that this has been sitting in my inbox, and they still make me smile every time.

As I’m sure you know and thus probably goes without saying, your constant support, in particular, has always been a major joy in my life, and a great source of inspiration that has often served to help keep me going, even when I doubted myself and my ability to reach others with my content heavily. I can very safely say that without you and a very select few other people in my life up until this point, I probably would not have been able to make it as far as I have.

When my now ex-fiancé was making my life particularly difficult or stressful, you would always be there to pick me up when I was down and remind me of how much better I deserved than to deal with all of his gaslighting, neglect, and manipulative bullshit. You made me believe in myself as a person and, in doing so, slowly rebuilt the broken, self-depreciating and skeptical individual that I had become into someone who could actually feel like I had worth and value all my own.

Like you say, you’ve always read all of my posts and watched out for my new content eagerly like it really meant something to you on a personal level, and wasn’t just a thing you were doing to appease me or make me feel better about myself. Maybe it’s just because of my past with my ex where I practically had to beg him and shove things in his face to get him to even have any interest in any aspect of my daily life and even then got clearly disinterested responses, but I’ve never really liked it that much when someone participates in pity-engagement with my works; like, don’t get me wrong — I appreciate all the love and support that people give me equally, but there’s just something that feels so hollow about a person doing surface-level engagement and making empty compliments and comment over something they don’t even really like or care about on any level just to make someone feel like they care and are interested in their daily lives and interests. Even if there are good intentions behind it, it still just feels so performative and fake… That’s why I appreciate you and your engagement with my works so much; I can feel how invested you’ve become in me and the things I write and draw and say, whenever you respond to something, and it makes me so happy. You may not be the only person in my life to do this, but you are one of my very biggest and most passionate supporters and I don’t know what I’d do without that.

Realistically, I don’t know what the future has in store for me at the moment in regards to all of this — if my blog will shrink or grow over time, if I’ll become more or less popular and respected within the BSD fandom, or what all I’ll accomplish within the coming year; right now, in the current state of mind that I’m in, it can be hard to even see past this very moment or have a particularly bright outlook about anything, but what I do know and have faith in is that there is going to be this coming year and that whatever it brings, I’ll be doing my best at every moment to be here and to hold the people I care for as close and as tightly as I humanly can.

I know that I am incredibly lucky to know and have someone who is so kind, so gentle, and so sweet as you, who supports me and leaves me such lovely things and messages, who shares in so many of my passions and who always tries his very best to be a source of goodness in my life. 

There are many more things I could potentially say, but I don’t want this to drag on for 500,000 more words and become the longest post on my blog, so for now let me just say, thank you.

You mean the world to me.

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