Oh shit I got an awesome Dave but I accidentaly said 'sitty'.
BREAKING NEWS THE DAVE IS NOT HETEROSEXUAL.
I THINK I'M IN ROLEPLAY LOVE.
I had to dump him because I was called downstairs. First successful Trollmegle under cut.
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YOU ARE NOW TALKING TO A RANDOM FUCKASS. SAY SOMETHING, ASSHOLE!
â–¼:Â hey did you ever manage to wake up terezi
â–²:Â SHE'S STILL WAKING UP.
â–¼:Â you already kicked her right
â–²:Â YEAH. SHE'S TAKING A WHILE.
â–²:Â I DON'T WANT TO TOUCH HER. SHE'S STICKY.
â–¼:Â hose her down first
â–¼:Â that will wake her up
â–¼:Â fire engine coming through
â–²:Â THE ONLY LIQUID HERE IS THAT SITTY SODA.
â–¼:Â wee woo wee woo fucknut blindclown blackrom cleanup crew coming through wee woo
â–¼:Â dr dave paging nurse karka
â–¼:Â is she okay or whatever
â–²:Â MY FACE ISN'T TOO GOOD.
â–¼:Â did she hit you or some shit
â–²:Â NO SHIT, HUMAN SHERLOCK.
â–¼:Â shut up why did she hit you
â–¼:Â are you okay or do i need to alchemize some scooby doo band aids
â–²:Â I'LL BE FINE, I GUESS.
â–²:Â SHE WON'T TAKE OFF THE HOOD.
â–¼:Â that shit is so annoying
â–¼:Â whatever man just leave her alone to chill with her hangover
â–²:Â I GUESS THAT'S WHY SHE HIT ME.
â–¼:Â addiction is a powerful thing
â–²:Â I REALLY SHOULDN'T CARE ANYMORE, BUT I DO.
â–¼:Â but you said yourself that troll culture or whatever has all those different quadrants
â–²:Â BUT THEY OFTEN INTERFERE WITH EACH OTHER.
â–¼:Â dont let it get to you
â–¼:Â were both single and ready to mingle with the like 4 people alive
â–¼:Â ill be your wingman
â–²:Â YOU WILL BE MY HUMAN WINGMAN.
â–²:Â SPROUT THOSE ORANGE WINGS AND FLY.
â–¼:Â and theres no more kinky ass drones to scare the sex out of you so youre fine
â–¼:Â thats other me dingus
â–¼:Â either way im your wingman not him
â–²:Â YOU'RE STILL BOTH DAVES.
â–¼:Â hes on a boat hurtling through god knows what
â–²:Â AND WE'RE ON THE BIGGEST BALL OF FUCK THERE EVER WAS.
â–²:Â FLYING THROUGH DREAM BUBBLES.
â–¼:Â at least we have these crab communicators
â–²:Â JUST SCUTTLING AROUND, BEING THE GREATEST WALKIE-TALKIES IN PARADOX SPACE.
â–¼:Â as awesome as these things are if i have to sit in the same room as kanaya and rose anymore i might puke
â–²:Â WHY? IS LALONDE BEING INCREDIBLY INSIGHTFUL AND INTELLIGHENT?
â–²:Â WILL I FINALLY HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH KANAYA?
â–¼:Â there is too much snarky horseshit in this room for me to handle
â–¼:Â make it sound urgent so rose doesnt make some comment about my deep secret homosexuality
â–²:Â YOUR HUMAN HOMOSEXUAL FETISH WAS A SECRET?
â–¼:Â after we left earth it didnt really matter anymore
â–¼:Â growing up in texas though it took a lot of proding and poking and psycotheraputing from lalonde to get it out
â–²:Â I GUESS TEXAS ISN'T GOOD WITH THAT SORT OF THING?
â–¼:Â texas is kind of the worst for that sort of thing
â–²:Â DO THEY LYNCH HOMOSEXUALS OR SOMETHING?
â–¼:Â no but i wouldnt doubt people want too
â–²:Â WHAT SORT OF SHITBAG ASSMUNCH WOULD DO THAT?
â–¼:Â humans are fucking weird
â–¼:Â at least we dont have a fucked up cardgame for our romance
â–²:Â QUADRANTS ARE THE BEST ROMANCE SYSTEM.
â–¼:Â no theyre the most confusing romance system
â–²:Â WITHOUT KISMESITUDE, A LOAD OF TROLLS WOULD BE LEFT TO BE FED T THE WILDLIFE.
â–²:Â AND MOIRALLEGIANCE STOPS US FROM MURDERING EVERYTHING IN SIGHT TOO.
â–¼:Â no tell me i need the hot gossip
â–¼:Â but really what happened
â–²:Â I JUST MISS FEELING LIKE HE NEEDED ME.
â–²:Â HE JUST WOULDN'T PIL HIS FEELINGS ANYMORE, AND A ONE-SIDED ROMANCE JUST DOESN'T WORK.
â–¼:Â that clown doesnt need anyone hes a fucking juggalo with no real purpose
â–¼:Â dont beat yourself up about it
â–¼:Â you do that too much
â–¼:Â like give yourself a break youre not even that bad of a dude
â–²:Â HOW AM I NOT A BAD DUDE?
â–¼:Â all you want to do is help people and then when you dont you fuck yourself up about it for the next 3 years
â–¼:Â thats how youre not a bad dude
â–¼:Â hell id even say youre a great dude
â–²:Â MY TEAM DIED BECAUSE I'M A SHITTY LEADER.
â–²:Â BEING A SHITTY LEADER MAKES ME A BAD DUDE.
â–¼:Â my bro died because i couldnt defend myself
â–¼:Â does that make me a bad dude
â–²:Â YOU'RE A GREAT PERSON.
â–¼:Â then being a shitty leader doesnt make you a bad dude
â–¼:Â and youre not even a shitty leader
â–²:Â YOUR TEAM CAME OUT OF THE GAME COMPLETELY ALIVE.
â–¼:Â scratch that you did the best anyone could do
â–¼:Â we only had four people
â–¼:Â and johns our leader not me
â–¼:Â you had twelve who to be honest
â–¼:Â werent as smart as us
â–¼:Â good now lets stop this self pity train and get on the saving dave from the space lesbians train
â–²:Â I AM CHANGING INTO MY HUMAN SUPERHERO COSTUME NOW.
â–¼:Â does it have a cape
â–¼:Â im the only one allowed to have a cape
â–²:Â LOOK AT THIS SEXY SPANDEX.
â–¼:Â i called dibs on all the respective capes
â–²:Â AND MY BEAUTIFUL UNDERPANTS BEING WORN ON COMPLETELY THE WRONG SIDE.
â–¼:Â i bet your booty is flyer than i could ever imagine
â–²:Â AND OF COURSE IT HAS A CAPE FUCKNUTS.
â–²:Â THEREFORE IT'S ALLOWED.
â–²:Â YOU CAN HOVER IN THE AIR OF YOUR OWN FREE WILL.
â–¼:Â okay whatever but all im gonna do is complain about it
â–²:Â NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA HOVERMAN!
â–¼:Â i am laughing at my crab communicator and rose is giving me a lecture about how much i want your troll d
â–¼:Â thats not a conversation i can have with my ectosister right there
â–¼:Â stop with those eyebrows
â–²:Â GOD FUCKING DAMN IT DAVE.
â–²:Â LET ME WAGGLE MY EYEBROWS.
â–¼:Â i let you have the cape you cant have this
â–²:Â I CAN SAY BETTER STUFF, IF YOU WANT.
â–¼:Â see this is me dead
â–¼:Â you have killed me with your pointy text eyebrows
â–²:Â ARE YOU ACTUALLY LYING ON THE GROUND?
â–¼:Â im hiding under the table
â–¼:Â i didnt want to listen to rose anymore
â–²:Â DOESN'T SHE KNOW YOU'RE UNDER THE TABLE?
â–¼:Â that doesnt matter because only i can fit under here
â–²:Â BUT SHE CAN STILL TALK TO YOU, YES?
â–¼:Â dont question me mr spandex
â–²:Â SO THIS HAS NOT ADVANCED THE SITUATION.
â–²:Â EXCEPT YOU ARE NOW IN A SMALL, CRAMPED AREA.
â–¼:Â thats it youre taking too long im telling her that youre dying and i need to save you
