#trma

They tell me what we had wasn't real

Wasn't truthful

But they don't know

The love we had for each other

The time we spent together

They don't know who we we're

We're

That's a strong word

Maybe they're right

Maybe it was all fake

I dont want it to be a lie

Please don't let it be a lie

Please

I dont miss you

I promise

I wouldn't lie

Just like you did

You've become something I can't handle

A memory

A pain in my heart

Another liar in my life

A cheater

A user

I don't miss you

I dont miss your eyes

Your smile

Your laugh

Your voice

Your love

Your hair

Your hugs

Your texts

Your love

I don't

I can't miss it

I'm not over this

I should be

You are useless

You are disgusting

You are an abuser

You are a liar

I hate you

I want to hate you

I need to hate you

Why can't I hate you

I don't get it

All day I can be happy and energetic

But the second I lay my head on this bed

All the memories come rushing back

The lies

The tears

The words

The emotions

And especially the numbness

It's such an old feeling

Yet so new

I hate it though

Because it brings me right back

Right back to the classroom

Right back to the gym

Right back to the lunchroom

Right back to my bedroom

Then I'm here again

You know the pain never stops

Just makes room in between

Every single thought

It climbs in between my insecurities

And cloaks itself with my tears

But it will always be there

You didn't make me stronger. I did.

You didn't lead me to where I am now. I built myself back up and brought me here.

You didn't do anything to help me get where I am today. I did.

I am the one who did all the work.

All you did was push me down and break me.

I will never thank you for making me feel worthless, unloved, a burden.

I thank myself for being strong enough to endure it.

And I won't forgive you.

You don't deserve forgiveness.

You will never deserve forgiveness.

The best you will ever get from me is being forgotten.

People always say to let go of the anger.

I can't do that.

That is like surrendering to the pain you've caused.

I will always be angry at you.

I have been having ideas flying around in my head. What if same thing happened but y/n beat thanos. Her power was strong enough. That nobody died. Nat and tony everyone is safe. We follow through with our bucket list with Wanda. We go see the world with nat and Wanda. The Loki multiverse makes me thing of like an alternative better time line. Just idea but looking forward to what you post next.

God

I miss you so much

I think of you every day

Your hair

Your eyes

Your laugh

Your smile

Your voice

Your hands

Your everything

I'm sorry

I don't know what went wrong

I'm so tired of this

I'm tired of this feeling

I want it to end

One year ago we were laughing

At 3 am together

Now

We seem like we never

Knew each other

at all

I love you so much

I'll continue to love you

Til I die

I'll never forget you

You changed my life

You built me up so far

And now I've broken down

I've now learned

To always stay away

Because of the waves

Always crash

And I don't want to be