Hi! Sorry if I'm being a bother, but I just finished Son of a Witch and Out of Oz, and I noticed that Liir only refers to Candle as his 'wife' (the family tree in the beginning of the book says otherwise), but he's always very creative with his nicknames for Trism. You're kind of the expert on these things, and I was wondering if you noticed them too.
Oh this isn't any trouble at all! I'm actually happy to see a new person get interested in Liir/Trism!
Anyway, I DID notice that Liir's way of referring to Trism is much more colorful compared to Candle! Though NGL, I haven't read the books in a hot minute 'cause Uni is kicking my ass, so my recollection of details may be hazy, but I'm gonna tell you anyway HAHAHAHAHA
I think Liir refers to Candle as his "wife" because he feels devotion towards her. As the mother of his child, and the first person to care for him when he became an adult, she's played a very big role in his life. He calls her his wife because she's basically the only person he knew who's willing to put up with him and hasn't abandoned him.
Throughout his youth, Liir has struggled with his loneliness and despairs the fact that "Nobody will ever come looking for him". When Candle arrives, he's no longer alone and he finally has someone waiting for him whenever he goes somewhere.
On the other hand, Liir is much more creative and flowery with his thoughts about Trism, because he's completely and utterly besotted. Unlike his feelings for Candle, Liir's feelings for Trism are brought by attraction, not necessarily devotion.
I mean, if you read the books, Liir goes to great lengths to reminisce about Trism's looks. From his blonde hair to his apparently very nice ass (I still think it's hilarious Maguire added this detail), Liir spends an inordinate amount of time admiring Trism's appearance.
Not only that, bur Trism also plays a very impactful role in Liir's life. While Candle may have given Liir the domestic life he always wanted and spent roughly 2 decades with him, Trism is the one who is present during the turning points in Liir's life, not Candle. So it makes sense that Trism takes a lot of space in Liir's head.
Trism was the one who told Liir how to enter the military. He helped him complete his plans. Finally, when liir had to pick sides during the climax of his life, it was Trism who told him to "make his own choices for his own reasons". Basically confronting him head-on with his biggest flaws, his lack of initiative and self-identity.
Unlike Candle who is mainly a comfy person Liir can go home to, Trism is the one pushing him to take action throughout his life. They may not have spent that much time together, but every encounter they have sends their lives spiraling into a completely different direction. That's why I think Trism takes so much real-estate in Liir's mind.
Those are my thoughts anyway. Glad you decided to ask me! I'm flattered you think I'm an expert on this, but I'm really not TBH. I'm just a zoomer who's completely in love with the relationship between a neurotic witch boy and his sexy but really full of himself soldier BF.
I hope I gave a satisfactory answer, and feel free to give your own two cents! Don't worry about being a bother too! Talking about Liir/Trism is a stress-reliever for me!