#trinitarian

A quasi-religious blog to help myself explore Christianity through a queer and/or progressive lense. I was raised in a Christian family, but ever since I was a little boy I knew I was gay and hearing all the rhetoric about how homosexuality is a sin and that I'd be damned to Hell if I don't follow God in a specific way all turned me away from the idea of God, or I guess organized religion. When I turned 13 I discovered Wicca and that seemed to resonate with me as I've also always been very much a hippie and the idea of living in harmony with nature and its cycles seemed very appealing to me and also honoring the divine feminine since.... It never fully made sense to me why so many were adamant that God is a man or exclusively masculine. The idea of a Goddess or otherwise divine Mother seemed very appealing to me, and that could also stem from the trauma of growing up with an abusive father. But lately I've been kind of lurking in the doorway of Christianity again, trying to learn from those who are more progressive and actually seem to follow Christ's teachings and not the version of Christianity that is trying to unfortunately destroy this country (the States) by tearing families apart and stripping people of their rights. I feel very drawn to the Episcopal denomination as they seem to be the most progressive and because they slightly resemble Catholicism which I've always liked as well, but I know the Catholic Church has historically been very anti-gay/queer. The late Pope Francis was definitely a breath of fresh air with how much more progressive he was compared to his predecessors, but I know he had his reservations as well. Anyway, for now I'm finding I'm treading this middle path of blending Christianity and paganism together. I'm trying to reconnect with the Trinity (Father, Son, Holy Spirit/Mother) and I honor/venerate Gaia/the Earth similar to how one might venerate a Saint is the best way I can explain it, I view Gaia as an extension of the Elohim and also as a daughter of God. Since I am also animistic in my beliefs, I believe that God is within everyone and everything and I feel God's presence in a drop of water as well as in the roaring of the waves of the ocean. So I view honoring/venerating/revering the Earth as also honoring/venerating/revering God because the Earth is God's creation. Also, the way I see it, our earthly bodies reflect the Earth as well: Earth(flesh, bones and muscle), Water (blood, tears, and the fact we are 60-70% water), Fire (stomach acid, electrical brainwaves, and the fact our body puts off heat makes me think of how the Earth has a heated core), Air (the fact that we breathe in the oxygen the Earth provides and our breath releases the carbon dioxide that plants need to convert into energy to continue growing). So by honoring the Earth, I believe we in turn honor ourselves and again, honor God as we are also God's creation. I think that's all I can say/explain/express for now. Thank you for reading and/or following if you decide to. May you be blessed!