My dark moments *trigger
How does one write a suicide note
Who am I supposed to write to
If I feel alone
People love to say that people who commit suicide are selfish
They don't think about those who love them
But who was thinking about them
Did anyone bother to ask if they were okay
Did anyone bother to ask
Did anyone think of more themselves
Stop saying selfish
Because that's exactly what you are
That's what everyone is
Yes it's selfish
It's selfish
In that
They want to be loved
They want to feel
They want to notice
They want someone to realize that maybe there's nothing they can do because they've been this way so long
Maybe just maybe they could have done everything
But there's more than just I gave up
More than I'm selfish
More than just wanting an easy way out
But everyone so selfish
Sometimes we surround ourselves with people who
Who just can't love us the way we need
Or just can't say what we need to hear
If someone doesn't do it doesn't mean they crying for attention
But nobody wants to die painfully
Nobody wants to think of the mess they might leave or if anyone would bother to care
Or maybe does anyone even want to stop them
Is it worth it
Is there enough people who care
Genuinely
Is there any way to stop it
Sometimes yes
Sometimes no
But we are not selfish
We are angry
We are sad
We are not hopeless
We feel
We don't sometime
We are happy
We are loved
But we can't feel it
And if only a wish
A prayer
A dream
A word
Could give us the strength to stay to see things get better
If only things were so simple
But they're not
I am not selfish
I am not hopeless
I am tired
I also want to fight
But things just aren't that simple
So don't call me selfish
Don't say I'm cruel
Don't say I didn't try
It's deeper than I just want to disappear
It's more than you think
It's more than I can fathom
More than I understand myself
Just no it's an intense feeling
And that I've written my note a plenty of times and it changes
Sometimes I think it just says goodbye
Others it just says everything
I haven't done yet
But just know even when I don't write the note I've cried for help before
And sometimes no one answers
I'm not the little boy who cried wolf
I am not begging for attention
I am not looking for an easy way
I'm looking for a reason to stay
I'm looking for a way to make the pain go away
I'm looking for a way to actually feel
For a way not too
But just know I do try
And everyday I don't do it is an accomplishment
And some days those who would call me selfish or say I had no reason to
They don't even call
They don't even know
Some days I'm alone and those people who claim they were here for me
Realize when I wrote this they were nowhere to be found
Think of that
No one can be everywhere
Everyone can't be help
But you should never stop trying
Should never just write me off
Because Im a example of someone who didn't
But everyday I contemplate suicide and wonder if that I'll ever change
So tell me how do I write a suicide note
How can I ask for help
If I don't even know what's wrong
I don't even know whose enemy and whose friend
Tell me how do I write a suicide note
When I can't think of anyone to address it to
