#triel

Ginger probably told him, or he would have said something by now. Instead he glanced down at the wine, set it down and nudged a plate of intricately crafted sausage rolls and cut fruit. “Here. These are good.”

I glanced down at them, and they did look good, but I wasn’t hungry. “Maybe later.”

“Suit yourself.” He leaned back in his chair. “How are you feeling?”

I folded my arms on the table and rested my head on top. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

“You don’t really have a choice though.” Cirrus sighed. “And you know, it might not be so bad. That girl probably won’t bother you in the arena now.”

No, she probably wouldn’t, but it didn’t matter. My stomach twisted remembered what I said. Her face. The way she cried and shook and that I didn’t know what happened to her after. She didn’t deserve any of this. I only targeted her because something in me decided she was vulnerable.

“You know, maybe don’t do that all the time,” Cirrus continued, taking a piece of fruit cut in the shape of a flower. “But would it be so bad to lean into it sometimes?”

I lifted my head, staring. “You know I can’t do that.”

He shrugged. “Its your choice.” He paused, then sighed softly. “Whatever you do, you’re nothing like Vena. He wouldn’t care this much.” Crossing his arms, he leaned back, chin high with a hint of a smirk. “It doesn’t matter what he would think anyway because you killed him. You’re clearly stronger than he was. Maybe it wouldn’t kill you to explore what you can do now that he’s gone.”

“I…” Could I do that? Did I want to know what would happen? “I don’t know.”

Cirrus nodded, slipping his hand into his pocket. “Don’t have to know now, but I’d rather you survive at all costs than come back dead. Give me your hand.”

I sat up, holding out my right hand. Cirrus drew a pearl bracelet with a shiny gold clasp, fixing it around my wrist. It was cool against my skin, cool and vast like the ocean which it came.

“You actually did it.” Despite the weight on my chest I found myself smiling. “How did you convince someone to do this so fast?”

Cirrus grinned, reaching for his wine glass. “I’m a prince, Asher. I have my ways.” He finished his wine and set the glass back down. “Namely I took him for dinner and let him keep the rest of the pearls that didn’t fit.”

“You really could just live here couldn’t you?” I shook my head mockingly as I drew my hand back, running my fingers over the smooth pearls. “But thank you.” I could probably take it into the arena. Hopefully.

“Glad you like it.” He reached for the wine bottle and poured himself another glass. “What’s the plan for today?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know.” Would it be worth trying to make a better impression on someone else? I wouldn’t get far without someone else on my side. “I might try to talk to someone else, see if I have better luck today.”

“Not a bad idea.” He started on his second glass of wine, gesturing with it towards me. “Might not hurt to test a few things out too. You’re not exactly an outdoorsman.”

No, no I was not. “Yeah, okay. I might have to do that too.”

“Well good luck.” Cirrus reached forward and gave me a pat on the shoulder. “I’ll be here if you lose your mind again.”

I nodded, at least some of the tension easing. “Thanks.” Hopefully I wouldn’t need to come back today, but if I did he would be here.

--

The hall was just as busy today as it was yesterday. Clanging, shouting, talking. I took a long breath at the entrance before stepping out of the elevator. Focus. Stay calm. Don’t do that again. How many people had seen me yesterday? How many already blacklisted me from being a potential ally?

I slowed by one of the stations, archery. If there were bows in there it wouldn’t hurt to know how to use one. Picking one up it was lighter than it looked, some kind of synthetic material instead of solid wood. The trainer gave a brief lesson and wandered off to the next tribute eying the station. I picked up one of the arrows and knocked it like I’d been shown. My arm wobbled as I drew back, not far enough. I let go and the arrow clanged to the ground short of the target.

The tribute next to me released hers and it stuck straight and fast into the center of the target. Then again, and again, cramming the center of the target with a well aimed cluster of arrows. She’d run out of arrows before I had a chance to set my second, her eyes locked on the target a moment longer before lowering her bow. She knew what she was doing. Ginger had pointed her out to me last night after reviewing the reapings. Silver hair, a determined look in her eyes, she’d been introduced as Angie from district ten who stood alone on stage before the name calling even begun.

She turned to me, eyeing the last of my arrows. “Are you using those?”

I shook my head, stepping back. “No, go ahead.” There was no way I was about to figure out how to shoot in the next two hours anyway.

“Thanks, I’m all out of bullseyes,” she rolled up the sleeves of her jumpsuit and knocked my arrow, aiming at my target. “I needed yours too.”

She drew back, arms steady and eyes focused as she held her draw by her ear just a moment before letting it fly straight for the center of the target, again. She wasn’t learning, just brushing up.

The trainer called it safe to retrieve arrows and she didn’t hesitate. Maybe she was someone it might be beneficial to get to know. I took back my one arrow and paused, turning to her.

“You’re a good shot.” I smiled, offering her my one arrow. “You’ll probably get better use out of this than me.”

“Sure am.” Bracing one hand against the target, the arrow between spread fingers she tugged it out in one swift motion. She took mine too, twirling it between her fingers. “Don’t forget it.”

I nodded quickly, ducking my head but even still I could see her sizing me up as if determining if I would be a threat. Then she turned her attention back to her remaining arrows, pushing up the sleeves of her jumpsuit, despite them being already pushed up as far as they would go, before plucking them from the target.

“I trained my whole life for this and I intend to win.” She pulled one, eyeing it briefly and going for the final. “Nothing is going to take this from me.”

My skin crawled under her stare and I found myself stepping back without realizing. Why hadn’t I thought there might have been tributes ready to kill? That they weren’t picked just by chance, that they came here after preparing for who knows how long?

That they were here to kill me and anyone who got in their way.

I nodded again, turning back to the shooting line. “I, I’ll stay out of your way then.”

“Good call.” She took her position at the line again, arrow knocked and waiting for the call to shoot. “I’ll be nice and make it quick so you don’t suffer too long.” She smiled, almost friendly.

The trainer called and she raised, drew, and shot in one fluid motion, her arrow lodging right back into the center dot.

There was no point in me trying again here. I put my bow and arrow back. There was no way I’d be able to match her, or get anywhere close enough to defend myself or hunt within one week. I’d just have to remember to stay out of her way. Far, far out of her way. At least she didn’t seem to want to kill me personally.

If I did have to die though, I’d rather she send an arrow straight through my head before I had a chance to know what hit me than be left to die over hours or days.

I left, and in quick succession could hear her next two arrows hit the target. I didn’t have to turn to know they would have been dead center like the first.

Walking down the edge of the hall, I didn’t have a destination in mind but didn’t want to linger with Angie too much longer and risk distracting her again and changing her mind about her promise to make it quick. Would the next person I came across think the same way? Would they be here on purpose? I swallowed. Surely that was the exception, right?

Giving up on making connections for a while, I stopped at one of the stations along the edge of the hall with a collection of plants and their medicinal uses, and some poisonous ones. If I did get hurt, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to know if there was anything out there I could use to avoid infection. If not, I’d probably try and find Angie so she could put me out of my misery before the infection turned to sepsis.

A shadow fell over the table. I turned, shrinking back as the other horse thief, the one with the hat and the coat she didn’t seem to ever take off, towered over me.

She smiled sweetly. “Hello! How has your day been so far? I hope it was better than yesterday.”

Right, she was from the same district as the other girl. Did she know? I nodded, quiet, keeping my head down as my shoulders tensed. “Its… Well, it could be better right?” I held out a hand. “My name’s Asher.” She seemed genuine enough. Maybe…

She took my hand and thinly veiled anger seethed just under her skin.

She knew.

“I’m Triel. A pleasure. Maybe I can make your day a little bit better.” She paused, the silence drawing on heartbeat after heartbeat, breath after breath. She kept her hold on my hand my heart lodged in my throat. What was she doing? “There’s a plan to escape the arena without the Capitols’ permission.”

“Oh, really?” I blinked, taking my hand back and staring up at her, confused. “That’s possible?” Why was she telling me? My hand still prickled with her resentment. What was she playing at?

She nodded. “I’ve already done it before, and I have even better plans this time.”

Triel. “Oh, you’re that Triel.” I should have remembered her name already, it should have rung a bell and maybe it would have if I paid closer attention to the games of years past. She had been the one to defy the Capitol before, though they hadn’t dwelled on it in their broadcasts. So this is what happened to her. “I think I’ve heard of you. Why did you come back?”

“To fuck with the Capitol even more by getting even more tributes out alive and to rescue someone I failed. Are you interested?”

Just like that? Just like that she would offer to include me in an escape? I nodded. “If I can, I’d like to.” I wasn’t sure if I believed it yet, but it was better than anything I had thought about to try and survive.

“Wonderful!” She clapped her hands. “I just have one requirement.”

Her eyes darkened, the smile gone as if it was never there as she stared down at me, hard-faced as anger seeped palpable. “Stay the fuck away from Chess.”

I shrunk back and ducked my head out of her gaze. She’d cried. I’d made her cry, I’d said— “I will.” Had she gone back to her floor afterwards? “Is she okay?”

Triel sniffed, crossing her arms and squaring her shoulders. “Why do you care? I heard what you said to her. I know she picked the fight, so fighting back was in your right, but you should have never said those things to her.”

It wasn’t my right. I should have left, should have walked away as soon as I determined her uncertainty, her weakness. “I know, and I know nothing I do will take it back.” It wasn’t right to pick on her just because I could. “I’m sorry.”

“You need to tell her that. When she’s comfortable being around you.” Triel sighed and my shoulders fell. Why would she ever want to see me again? “How did you even know all that about her? Have you met her before?”

“I will, and I’ll let her decide when, or if she wants to speak to me.” I swallowed. If she would rather me dead I’d understand it more, after what I did. How would I explain any of it though? “I haven’t met her before though, no.” If my footing in this escape was already shaky, would it only be made worse if I told her what I was?

Triel frowned. “She might punch you before she feels better.”

“That’s… Fair.” I was almost surprised she hadn’t come to do it now. Was she still sitting in it? Still agonizing over whether her fears were true? “I didn’t mean any of it, what I said. It…” Was it worth explaining? “Happens sometimes.” I looked up, quickly adding, “Which doesn’t make any of it better, of course.” But maybe she could tell her it was a lie. That I’d done nothing but twist her own fears back to her like the demon I was.

She studied me, eyes flickering over me as thought whirred. “Is that going to be a liability in the arena? I need to know so I can make plans against it.”

My shoulders fell. “I… I don’t know. I can’t say it won’t.” It was more likely that it would. More than likely I would find her, or someone else, anyone else, vulnerable and prone to doubt that I would latch to, to open old wounds till they bled out. “It snuck up on me this time, I haven’t been that way in a while but I can’t see the stress of the arena helping at all.”

“Then what can I do to help so it won’t happen? I want everyone possible to escape the arena. I won’t leave you behind, but I need to know how to protect the entire group and keep them together.”

Was there anything she could do? Anything anyone could do? Even Ginger struggled with me at my worst and, and she’d been practicing her line of work for almost fifty years. What was there that Triel, or anyone else could do? It would have to be me. I was the only one who could take care of myself, to hold myself back.

My voice came as a near whisper. “I don’t know if there is anything you can do, and you shouldn’t have to.” I swallowed, looking down at the ground between us. It shouldn’t be her responsibility. “I wouldn’t want everything to fail because of me. If something happens I won’t fault you for leaving me.” Could I live with myself, knowing that people died because she tried to hard to save me?

But she quickly shook her head dismissively. “Shit, I just recruited you and you’re already telling me to leave you behind? I’m not doing that?”

My throat tightened. Why? Why try so hard to save me? Why try so hard after what I did to her district mate, what I might do to everyone around me? “I, I really hope I can keep it together.”

She sighed, and when I stole a glance up at her the anger had faded from her face, shoulders softening. “Let me know if you feel close to it. I’ll do what I can to calm you down. I’m not leaving anyone behind. Not again.”

I nodded, but I knew better than put her through trying to calm me. “That I can do. I’m usually better than this, so I hope I can manage.” I’d keep my distance. I’d hold myself back. If she lost someone once, I didn’t want her to lose someone again.

At least, I wouldn’t let her see it happen. Better to flee to my death alone than suck everyone down with me. Better to vanish than make others risk their lives to find me.

“I hope so too. I’ll warn Chess that you’ll be with us so she can avoid you if she wants to.”

“I won’t speak a word to her unless she says otherwise.”

Triel nodded, solemn and final. “Thank you. I need to go talk to some others, so I’ll see you around. I’ll find you in the arena.”

“Thank you, Triel.” I smiled, small but what I could manage. “Good luck.”

She gave a cunning grin. “I don’t like relying on luck.” She winked and turned with a flourish of her coat, already plotting her course towards her next target.