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I will never get tired of the Hannibal / Venom crossover that the fandom write about. It’s all a variation of
Eddie: boy this sure is a good meal Doctor Lecter
Hannibal: *makes a human food pun*
Venom: !!! I knew I recognised the taste Eddie this is human kidneys
Eddie: *chokes*
And I could read it a million times.
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Some days Aziraphale feels a little too human.
He’d been walking around with Crowley for hours, feeding the ducks, looking at nature, and he’s a bit sore between the thighs, a growing pain just where his hip meets a bit of tummy fat.
He’d once heard someone refer to it as chub rub. Sounded as awful as it felt, only he didn’t want to alert Crowley by using a miracle. Gabriel’s comment on him being soft still rang like a bell in his mind, and he didn’t want Crowley to think less of him for experiencing such a human downfall.
Crowley knew the moment Aziraphale was uncomfortable, of course. Thousands of years pining after Aziraphale left the demon very in tune with the fleshy body.
Which is why, in the safety of the book shop, Crowley gently undressed a flustered Aziraphale, kissing away the fear. He took in the red, hurting skin and pressed cool cream to it, gentle, caring.
Some days Aziraphale feels a little human, and some days Crowley reminds him that it’s ok.
Serpentine Prince - Chapter 7
The moon was bright in the cloudless sky, solid against the blackness of space, stars sprinkled like the freckles on Crowley’s skin.
The night air was cool, but not enough to make him shiver as he walked through the gardens, past his sunning rock and apple tree, to the pond and water feature just beyond them...
Thank you @sslashbandit for turning around the Beta’ing so quickly!
More of your favourite Good Omens ribbon, because you deserve it
Newton: are you the big spoon or the little spoon
Crowley: I’m a knife
Aziraphale: he’s the little spoon
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Okay on the Venom / Hannibal crossover
Imagine if Eddie doesn’t know Hannibal is a serial killer for fun. The awkwardness of him asking what his parasite is called.
Hannibal looking mad, knife in hand. “My husbands name is Will.”
Eddie holds out his hands, but can’t stop the knife stabbing him. He grunts. Venom peers over Eddies shoulder, looking pissed.
“AND WE DO NOT ENJOY BEING STABBED.”
Hannibal looking shocked. Eddie heals and says “this is my parasite-“ “-EDDIE-“ “-ahem, husband, Venom.”
Best way for Loki to be reintroduced into the MCU universe
Thor: oh! A snake. I love snakes, they remind me so much of Loki. *sniffles. Picks up snake and cuddles it.*
Loki: *transforms from snake to human* bleh, its me! *stabs Thor* surprise.
Thor: *crying* do you know how many snakes I’ve hugged waiting for you to come back, you little shit
Will inviting Eddie and Venom to one of Hannibal’s dinner parties. He says each guest brings a gift. Eddie mistakes this into meaning food, so he brings some burnt tator tots in plastic bowl (V keeps smashing anything that’s breakable).
Eddie awkwardly handing them over. Hannibal making a face and dumping the whole thing in the bin.
EDDIE THOSE WERE OURS
‘I know love-‘ he’s mumbling to himself, and boy is he underdressed. He thought this was a party, not some upper class pissing contest.
It’s when Venom notices the snickering at Eddies appearance that they disappear into one of the many bathrooms.
Will appears 20 minutes later, apologetic. He knocks on the bathroom door and encourages Eddie to come back to the party. They don’t have anything he can change into but-
Eddie comes out, covered in a black suit with a white collar. If Will stares hard enough he thinks it blinks at him.
“We got this covered.” Eddie winks, heading back into the party. Vs got his back. And his front, and his ass at this point, literally being the suit for him.
