People ask âdo you know how to sewâ when what they mean is âdo you know how to sew wellâ
No, no I do not, but if you give me a needle, some thread, and cloth to repair, I do know how to stab and knot until it is back in shape, 100% customer satisfaction guarantee (the customer is me and my pajamas)
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Maedhros was a brilliant military leader. Able to command respect, love, and fear all at once, adept at soothing egos, but also at knowing when a particular burr needed pulling and not pacifying. He could look at a map and see the full picture for what it was and not what he wanted it to be. He had an innate knack for swiftly deciding how to best allocate resources, both material and in terms of bodies. He could make sacrifices.
His only real fault was his inability- or, Amras suspected, lack of will- to truly read his enemies and make accurate predictions of their next move.
Always getting surprised, Maedhros. He couldnât stand the prospect of identifying too much with his enemies, both the ones he pitied and the ones he reviled. But, luckily, he had brothers willing to do that for him.
Maglor was his most trusted commander, because he was a damn skilled one, as he was at most things. By Amrasâs estimation, Maglor was the only one to inherit their fatherâs genius- that was, his ability to be near effortlessly good at basically everything he tried- and it showed. It was no coincidence that Maglor was there to cut down Uldor, who he never trusted and privately protested against giving such an important place in their column.
A shame that Maedhros always listened to Fingon over any of his brothers.
Then there was Celegorm, who Amras wouldnât call a strategist, but had provided invaluable knowledge and expertise in organization. The Hunt of Orome had been the closest Valinor had to a host of warriors, and they hunted not just animals but monsters. Celegorm was the only one among them who knew how to create formations, to run drills, maintain rotations, to organize relief and extraction and medical aid. Heâd spent most of the early days as Feanorâs, then Maedhrosâs, then Maglorâs quartermaster until someone else could be trained to take on those duties. To say nothing of how his warriors loved him.
To the end, he was the best field commander.
Caranthir and Curufin were no help.
Oh, Caranthir was a dab hand at supply lines and a decent strategist, but he got flustered too easily. If one piece of his intricate plans fell through, he wasnât able to recover fast enough. He got frustrated, angry, scared. He was much, much better at negotiating trade in his office, where he was given hours and days to think his way through everything thrown his way before he needed to send a reply back. The battlefield was too chaotic for his tendency to focus on one thing and one alone. His greatest strength, and also probably how he let himself be killed by a half-grown archer with shaking hands while trying to save Curufinâs already doomed life.
And the less said about Curufin, the better. He tried too hard at everything; if it wasnât about measuring up to Feanor, it was about outdoing Maedhros, and that was no way to command men or win a war, to say nothing about stealing cities from cousins. His every move reeked of insecurity and that was a pungent smell.
Amras knew nothing about Pityafinweâs prowess as a general.
Except, a small part of him that he quickly crushed whispered, his propensity to run.
Amras didnât think he himself was half bad at it, though he came to the skills late. Only truly after Doriath, when Celegorm, Caranthir, and Curufin were gone and their number of trusted people were so few. Perhaps he did not have Maglorâs sharp instincts or Celegormâs deft ease, but he felt he struck a medium in between both their particular talents. As Maglor became more and more reluctant at the end, it was Amras who Maedhros leaned on for Sirion. Cost him his life. Maybe that was actually indicative of a lack of skill. Oh, well.
On the stern of the ship, Elrond stood with Lady Galadriel, watching Middle-earth fade in the distance.
The weather was fair and lovely, and there was a warmth at his back. And yet still, the day felt quite sad. Sad in the way that only sad things can be incomparably beautiful. Elrond and his mother-in-law went to go see many of the same beloved people and also shared much beloved that they left behind.
Elrond looked to her when Galadriel let out a tremulous sound.
âMy uncle was right about few things,â she said, âbut he was right that this land across the sea is beautiful and that we were meant to be a part of it. It has been my great honor, not to master a piece of this land as I initially sought, but to watch and help it grow, and to grow with it. So bitter was the way, so foolish were our intentions, but I do not regret. I do not regret a bit the going. Nor do I regret the leaving. I only feel joy and pride to have been a piece of a song so lovely, so lively, and so grand.â
And if Galadriel wept a little, Elrond would never tell.
He only passed her a handkerchief and closed his eyes, to feel the wind, and thought of all he would tell his family of the land they had loved and left before the end.
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Iâm not going to call this a headcanon, but rather a head-characterization, but I believe that each of the Finwean first born heirs (Maedhros, Fingon, Finrod) wished a different uncle was his father
Or, rather, that their father was more like one of their uncles. Like so-
Maedhros, looks at Fingolfin and sees a king and a diplomat and a statesman of unrivaled poise. His father is not so composed, heâs flighty and bombastic, genius but miserable at following the details of things that donât interest him. Is it wrong that Maedhros wishes to be the heir of someone with such focus and dignity as Fingolfin?
Fingon, meanwhile, looks at Finarfin and sees a good man with good perspective. His father is more short-sighted, more prone to offense and pettiness. His father is also deeply committed to honor and decency! But he misses moments of simple joy, freedom, and forgiveness. Why could Fingonâs house not also simply live happily like Finarfinâs?
Finrod, though, oh Finrod, he looks at Feanor and he sees and Elf-prince of stature and grandiosity and individuality. His father is a simple man, a kind and good man, but he lacks all ambition. He wonât do anything to advance his interests, his name and power, or that of his children. Why could Finrod not be the son of so great and bright an Elf as Feanor?
All three of them love their fathers, but there is a point where their values donât align, and there is an uncle who fits their vision just a little betterâŚ
"In later days [Amras and Amrod] were great hunters in the woods of Middle-earth; and a hunter also was Celegorm, who in Valinor was a friend of Orome, and often followed the Valaâs horn."
So, like, what kinds of hunting to do you the Ambarussa engaged in?
Celegorm 'followed Orome's horn'. Given what we know of Orome (his host, his horses, his dogs, the purging of evil monsters), I've always imaged the type of hunting these Elves and Ainur engaged was modeled after the Medieval mounted hunt.
Dogs chasing down on-foot game (deer, boar, wolves, foxes, badgers) while mounted riders followed with spears and bows (tho some considered bow hunting to be ignoble and an insult to the slain animal). Given Celegorm's canonical spear and bow use... safe bet.
It's important to note, though, that this manner of hunting was more ritual and sport than it was sustenance hunting. These enterprises were performed by the nobility as a past time with nice benefits, it was very well-organized and coordinated and /fancy/. They required an incredible amount of teamwork, preparation, and coordination, as well as grace and skill, so its no surprise someone could gain renown doing it, either in a leading or supporting role
Ambarussa don't follow Orome's horn. They aren't part of his host. And, in some texts, they are noted to be less 'great and renowed' hunters than Celegorm.
Given all this, I'd like to propose that Amrod and Amras engage in different types of hunting (of which there are many) in which they might have gained some renown, but wouldn't have been known as 'great' hunters as they weren't primarily interested in the pageantry and sport of the Hunt.
I like to think that Amrod was a very well-respected falconer and Amras was an excellent trap hunter.
Falconry was a common and highly respectable practice, wherein a falcon or hawk was trained to hunt waterfowl usually. Sometimes small animals. And heck, lets throw in that Amrod liked to train smaller dog breeds (terrier, spaniel) to hunt burrowing ground game. While Celegorm leans more spear, Amrod leans more bow.
Trapping was not really a 'sporting' type of hunting, it was hugely practical and, of course, takes more time (though all hunting takes time, in the kinds assisted by animals, you have the dogs or birds flush out the prey for you, rather than waiting for prey to come to you). And he fishes (fishing as we imagine it really pop up much until 15th century but shhh)! I imagine Amras enjoys setting traps before dawn, then going to fish for several hours before checking his traps and lines.
So there you go, they're very well accomplished hunters, but not in the way that big-game hunting Celegorm was skilled, and thus gained less renown for it.
Father had personally asked Feanor to stand for this portrait, so he was. Father had quietly suggested that perhaps this could be a painless exercise, which did not actually mean âpainlessâ but rather âsilentâ for Feanor, but he agreed. Father told him this painting did not symbolize anything but his own desire to have a record of all his available loved ones around him, and Feanor was trying to see it that way- for the sake of his own sanity.
Because his stomach was roiling, and there was a heaviness in his chest, a great emptiness which his heart was pounding against, echoing, echoing, echoing.
Father had one hand on Feanorâs shoulder and the other was upon Indisâs. She was sat in front of them, smiling beautifully, little golden-haired Arafinwe in her lap. Around them, her three dark-haired children were gathered. Findis on Fatherâs other side, Nolofinwe with her, and Lalwen in front of Feanor.
To the unaware eye, Feanor knew, they must all look like they matched. Like they went together correctly. Like a family.
When the portrait was complete and those dark haired children were gathered around the mother and father, who would guess that one child was out of place? Who might glance at all that paint representing their faces and think anything but-
You could almost be her son, Feanor thought, and then his mind replied, But youâre not.
He was so still and he dared not move, because if he did, heâd never get back in place. If Feanor flinched once, the sharp, jagged pieces of him that never fit right in this puzzle would scratch one of them. Theyâd be annoyed and that would be it: heâd combust in anger, heâd shatter across the floor, snapping and snarling at everyone unnecessarily until he ruined their perfect little scene. Father said this might be a painless exercise. No, no; this was to be a silent, still exercise.
You could almost be her son. But youâre not.
How good a painter was this person Father hired? How varied his faces? Would he capture that Feanorâs nose resembled that of none of the people here? Could he represent that his frame was already different from his father and little half-brotherâs?
Would he lie and throw a pleased smile on Feanorâs face? Not even Father had asked him to smile.
You could almost be her son. But youâre not.
Feanorâs presence made them fit together so symmetrically, maybe that was pleasing enough to hide the wrongness of this scene. Maybe thatâs why Father made him come here today, the pretty scene. Why he asked him to suffer, even as the longer he stood here, the more and more Feanor felt like he was about to be sick all over the floor.
A ghost, a ghost, there was a ghost looming over their shoulders ruining this perfectly symmetrical scene. Couldnât they feel her breathing down their necks, icy chill against sweat? Didnât their perfectly posed heads feel her long, clever fingers wrapped lovingly around their necks?
You could almost be her son. But youâre not.
Feanorâs gaze slipped down to the back of Indisâs head. Her beautiful golden hair. She didnât wear a crown, this was a family portrait, and that felt worse. So much worse.
If he let his eyes unfocus and his mind wander, he could try to lie to himself that her hair was much lighter and the faces of the children around them more closely resembled his own. The woman in front of him loved him, and she fussed over his hair before they sat for this portrait, and heâd let her do it.
The worst part was Feanor did know that Indis would help him with the ties of his robes, if only he let her.
You could almost be her son. But youâre not.
Sheâs not, sheâs not, sheâs not. It was a simple statement of fact. It was scandal enough that the father replaced the wife, when one at least chose a wife, but what freak replaced his own mother?
What would the people who saw this portrait think? Would they see Finweâs happy family or would they see Feanorâs blaring, uncomfortable intrusion upon what gods and men declared to be a better order of things? Father wanted him to belong here, but he didnât.
He just didnât.
You could almost be her son. But youâre not.
A painless exercise. Painless, painless, painless, for them. Silent, still Feanor, a happy accessory to the triumphant union of Finwe and Indis, a grateful stray dog permitted to drink from the bowls provided by Indisâs family.
This exercise was just meant to capture the image of all Finwe loved, nothing more. Donât think too hard about it, Feanor. You might make the children unhappy.
You could almost be her son. But youâre not.
You should pretend you are, though. Thatâll make them like you.
Because they did so disdain him, most of the time. They disliked how he glared at their mother and started fights at family dinners and ignored them in the hallways. Why shouldnât they? Feanor would hate a person who did those things to his family, too.
He just couldnât stop, though. He wanted to, sometimes, when the exhaustion and loneliness caught up, and then he remembered that he wasnât Indisâs son and never would be, and remembering that made him angry. Wouldnât it just be so damn convenient for them all if he was almost her son?
But he wasnât.
He was Mirielâs son. That was her name. He had no portrait with her. He loved her.
He loved Miriel, but it was Indis he posed with and-
When the session was done, Feanor jerked away from his father and shoved his way past Lalwen. As he went, Indis looked up at him, caught his eye, and he couldnât help the sneer that crossed his face.
He hoped that was painless enough for her.
When he returned to his chamber, he went to the wash room and heaved in the pot there. The gagging and retching made wetness prick his eyes, and the sudden tightness of throat made him choke all the harder. The sickness and heaving stayed long past when there was anything in his stomach to lose.
No one came. Feanor hoped maybe Father would, but really, why would he? Feanor had been mostly good, just a little rudeness wasnât worth either reprimand or comfort.
No, they were together. Maybe admiring their portrait, happy and pleased, or complaining about his behavior again. Really, why couldnt that Curufinwe just accept nice things?
I need to get out of here, Feanor thought, face and body wet with both sweat and tears. I need to leave this place.
He was a good son, and he could do anything else his father wanted but betray his mother further. No, Feanor couldnât pose as Indisâs son even a second longer. He would destroy himself, if he had to think one more time-