#trash?

Then his eyes moved to Cas, as they always inevitably did. The angel’s eyes were soft, crinkled at the edges. He wasn’t smiling, not fully. But the corners of his mouth were tilted up just slightly. He was still wearing his suit but he’d shed the trenchcoat and Dean tried not to let his eyes track down to his form. As he fought to keep his eyes glued to the angel’s face, Cas’ eyes flicked away from Jack to find him staring.  

He gulped, his cheeks heating up, but he held his gaze, keeping his face blank. 

They didn’t look away until Jack had finished the story and set the flashlight back down. 

“We have to be able to sleep tonight, you know,” Dean said, his tone light and teasing. Jack just smiled at him, a mischievous look in his eyes that Dean could have sworn was exactly the same one Cas got. 

“We gonna start the movie or what?” Sam chimed in. 

“What are we watching?” Dean asked, looking at the disk already in Sam’s hand. Sam held it up but Dean couldn’t see the title, where it should have been there was just black. A buzzing blank space in the fabric of reality. 

Cas reached across the circle and placed a warm hand on Dean’s knee. He wanted to reach his own hand down to cover it, twisting their fingers together. But he didn’t, just looked up to meet Cas’ worried blue eyes. 

“Are you okay, Dean?” 

He cleared his throat and looked between his family. “Yeah.” But even as he said the words, he heard a distant ringing, a shouting that wasn’t coming from inside the bunker, it was coming from… well, from his head. 

Rain fell on his face and wind whipped through his hair. No, that wasn’t right. He was in the bunker. It was warm, it was safe, it was-

“Dean, wake up!” Sam shouted as he peeled his eyes open, looking around. 

It was dark outside, and he was slumped against a tree, the rain that fell from the sky seeping into his clothes and leeching all the warmth from his body. 

“Sammy?” he said, his voice dazed and lost. 

“We have to go, Dean,” Sam said forcefully. 

“We were-” he hesitated. Where were they? “We were in the bunker.” 

“Dean, the bunker’s gone.”

Lightning struck nearby, and the ground shook. And with it, Dean finally woke all the way up. He wanted to go back. To go back to that movie night in the bunker. But it was just a distant memory, something his mind had decided to play as if it would make everything better. 

He stumbled to his feet and followed Sam through the rain back to the Impala. His heart pounded heavily against his chest, and part of him wanted to rip it out to get rid of the sound. He couldn’t do this. Why were they still here, still trying?

“But, Cas-”

“He’s gone, Dean. We have to get out of here.” 

He slipped into the passenger seat and started the car, but he didn’t drive. Sam didn’t get it. He hadn’t told him yet. Hadn’t told him why the Empty had come for Cas. Why it had burned the entire bunker to the ground before disappearing into darkness. There hadn’t been time. As they’d left the collapsing bunker, Chuck had been waiting for them, a smug smile on his face. He’d snapped his fingers, Jack had disappeared, and then he’d thrown both of them, knocking them out cold. 

“Sam, Cas-”

“We don’t know where Chuck is, Dean. We need to get someplace safe so we can get Jack back,” Sam said firmly. And Dean knew he was right. They didn’t have time to waste. But the dream hadn’t faded from his mind, Cas’ hand was still warm and heavy on this knee, and it was forcing him to remember. To remember it was all his fault. 

“No, you have to- I have to tell you. The Empty came for Cas-”

“I know,” Sam said simply. 

“It came because I told him I loved him,” Dean went on stubbornly. “And then we,” he blushed. This was still his brother. “He loved me too,” he settled on. 

Sam’s frantic eyes softened and he stopped looking back over his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Dean. If we can, we’ll find a way to get him out of it. I promise. But right now,” he took a deep breath, “We have to get Jack back. We have to beat Chuck. Okay?” 

Dean gulped and looked forward, at the open road, finally putting the car into gear. 

“Okay,” he breathed quietly. But he didn’t mean it. Cas was gone, how would they ever beat God now? There was no point. Chuck could have this sorry world, because Cas- Cas wasn’t in it anymore. 

Rain pounded against the windshield, and the sky intermittently lit up with bright flashes. Dean floored the gas, sending water spraying up from the Impala’s wheels, and drove away in the darkness.

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