#transpittweek

Jack can tell somethings off with Robby bc he’s not getting into watching the game. (11/16/2021: penguins lost 1-2 to sabers; Toranski made a career-high 45 saves for the sabers) Jack wasn't especially into hockey before he started watching with Robby over beers after one shift, fuck like a decade ago, but he's into it now with Robby and has a knack for making witty commentary that gets a snort out of the man beside him.

Well, across from him now; he's staked claim over the armchair while Robby sits on the opposite end of the couch from him. Robby didn't have to insist on social distancing when he and Jack hung out, they always try to line up hanging out on their rare time off with the weekly COVID test for work anyways, but Jack saw relief in Robby's eyes when he'd opted for the armchair instead of the couch the first time they'd done this after Adamson's passing, so for now it was Jack's spot. They'd finally broken down and started hanging out again after September, both deciding that the isolation they'd maintained since March the year prior wasn't sustainable, especially with the added responsibility and grief left in the wake of Adamson's death.

Robby, who's usually cursing at the screen alongside Jack. Who only half-heartedly echoed Jack's exasperation at the truly absurd number of failed shot attempts the penguins had accumulated. Jack asks what's eating at him, Robby blames his mood on work stress. Being the new chief attending and all. Jack calls bullshit, both of them know Robby's usually hell bent on taking the stress of a long shift out on whichever player he's determined is fucking up their shot at playoffs.

Jack's expecting to have to pry answers out of Robby, thinks its grief and overwhelm at inheriting his mentor's role at PTMC. He is not, however, expecting a guilty Robby confessing to him that he accidentally found out Jack's trans. He's apologetic; he was reorganizing Adamson's filing, and came across his legal name on some certification required when Jack transferred to PTMC.

Fuck, thats not what Jack was expecting at all. He remembers how crushed he was, after starting his attending job stealth for the first time, and Adamson had let him know with slight confusion that his legal name on one of the certifications was outdated. Adamson promised him discretion and never mentioned it again after Jack got it updated. It's neither Adamson nor Robby's fault, and Jack hates that he wasn't thorough enough and had missed a certification to change when he'd finally been able to get the legal name change.

(He transitioned around 2008, legally then in the US you had to have top surgery in the case of trans men to change your name, which you could only get after two years of "real life test" essentially proving living in your preferred gender is effective treatment for your gender identity disorder - per the DSM 4 which wasn't replaced until 2013. in this AU, Jack transitioned after his army discharge, since US military was under "Don't ask, don't tell" I don't think he realistically could've or would've had the means to transition prior to service. Jack was huge on discretion when seeking gender affirming care, especially as a doctor, so his move to PTMC was to start in a city and job stealth)

And now Robby knows, his friend, his fucking brother, who had looked at him as nothing but that for more than a decade. Who is staring at him with guilt etched deep into his expression. Jack sits up in the arm chair, his posture subconsciously reflecting his wariness. He sits in the silence for a moment, deciding how he should reply. Part of him urges him to harden, get defensive. He worked hard to become the man he is today, but he shoves down the impulse to take that out on Robby. Instead, Jacks asks the most important question, "Does it change anything? For you and me?"

It doesn't meet his eyes, but relief washes over Robby's expression. "Of course not, brother."

Jack nods. "Good."

---

I've got more thoughts. I think about trans jack like, all day. Robby is 100% his verse awakening when angst eventually becomes middle aged man yaoi.