#transparenting

Women’s History Month Spotlight: Kat Rohn 

In honor of Women’s History Month and ahead of International Transgender Day of Visibility, we spoke to Kat Rohn about her experiences as a transgender parent. She’s been highlighting her beautiful family over on @trans-parenting since 2013. Let’s dive into the interview!

We see so many parents documenting their parenting journeys on Tumblr. How did your @trans-parenting start?

I started Transparenting on Tumblr as both a way to record my own experiences as a (then) new parent, as well as to try and connect with other parents along the LGBTQ+ spectrum. I really didn’t have any big vision for where I wanted to go from there, but Tumblr felt like a great place to share and connect with a wide variety of content, and the community that I’ve found has been really fabulous.

Why is it so important that we continue to show the experience of parents who identify as LGBTQ+?

For one, I think visibility still matters for LGBTQ+ folks broadly. We’ve come a long way on that front since I started blogging in 2013, but having those stories, spaces, and experiences out there is important - especially for other LGBTQ+ folks who are or might be considering becoming parents one day. LGBTQ+ folks often have to jump through extra hoops to become parents, and unfortunately still face many structural and cultural obstacles. Having these stories out there can be really vital for people trying to navigate those challenges. I hear from folks on a regular basis who thanked me for sharing my story because it helped to give them hope for their own future. Visibility isn’t everything - and in this current political climate it can even feel like a liability at times - but it’s still powerful. I also think that the value of sharing these kinds of parenting experiences has value well beyond the LGBTQ+ specific community. I’ve been really fortunate in connecting with parents around the globe from a broad range of experiences and backgrounds. Parenting is full of its challenges, and getting a diverse set of perspectives on those challenges can be tremendously helpful. LGBTQ+ parents can bring a unique lens to many parenting conversations; and on the flip side, I’ve found my own parenting improved by having a broad range of voices and connections to draw upon.

What do you teach your children that you believe all parents should be teaching their children?

I want my kids to be kind and compassionate, to never stop being curious, to be resilient, and to proudly be themselves. I hope that my own identity and experiences help to foster that, but those are things every parent can help to teach their child!

We’re so grateful for you sharing your family’s story with Tumblr, Kat! 

The baby is snuggled up so close that both of us are on one side of a queen size bed. Now to find a well paying job with good benefits.

That’s awesome that your partner is being supportive!

I totally get you about the lack of visibility/voices/narratives of couples who stay together through the coming out process. When I first was working through this process, Helen Boyd’s books and the My Husband Betty boards were really helpful to me (though they may feel more dated now, not sure, it’s been a little while since I revisited them). That helped me to gain some confidence in how I wanted to approach things, and from there it’s just been a lot of conversations, and then patience as we both navigate this, and then more conversations, and then some more. It’s definitely not always easy, but it’s been well worth it.

I do know some other trans folks (personally) who stayed together after coming out, but there aren’t a ton of blogs/resources that I follow closely right now dealing with that relationship portion of things and couples that stay together. As you said it tends to be less dramatic of a news story, so it doesn’t get as much media coverage - for better or worse.

These stories are important, though, and it’s been really valuable for me to get perspectives from other couples (and from various perspectives within those relationships) on how to navigate this stuff. And I will say, it’s been heartening to see how that has evolved - and how many trans/genderqueer/non-binary folks are open and out well before they’re even entering into relationships.

I recently picked up Love Always, which came out a year or two ago, just haven’t gotten around to reading it yet. I’ll try and write something up on it when I get to it.