#transparency post

2025 Was Hard.

I haven’t been active on this blog—the same space that was once my pride and joy. Through BFS, I’ve met some truly beautiful Black women, and I want to be honest: I’ve carried guilt feeling like I may have let some of you down.

I didn’t want to write about leveling up, femininity, or becoming the woman of your dreams while I wasn’t fully meeting my own standards. That didn’t feel right.

The truth is, while I was still showing up in some ways—trying to stay consistent with my workouts, striving to live in my softness, and leaning on God—I was also fighting some very heavy battles behind the scenes. There were many dark days. Days when getting out of bed felt impossible. Days marked by heartbreak, body dysmorphia, losing my best friend, family challenges, and a constant feeling that I was never doing enough—or that I wasn’t enough at all.

Turning 30 brought its own weight. I struggled with feeling behind in life, not hitting the milestones I thought I would. I carried grief from deeply personal experiences, and there were moments where my mental health was fragile enough that I didn’t want to be here anymore. I felt alone, easily triggered, and pushed back into survival mode after working so hard to live softly.

I felt like I lost my softness for a while.

And because BFS has always been a safe space rooted in transparency and honesty, I couldn’t bring myself to show up pretending I had everything figured out when I didn’t. Leading this sisterhood while performing perfection would have felt hypocritical.

So this is where I begin again—with truth.

I’m not writing this to say everything is magically healed or finished. It isn’t. But today was the first day in months that I felt the pull to blog again. And that matters.

This blog has never been “just content” to me. It’s my safe space. My soft landing. BFS is my heart. And I truly missed all of you.

Right now, I’m rebranding and rebuilding myself—not BFS. BFS has always stood for honesty, growth, and grace, even when the journey is messy. Especially then.

Thank you for being here. Thank you for holding space. We’re still becoming—together.

With love,

I do recolors. I don’t own a dang thing I post on my Patreon. The only form of ‘early access’ I do is posting things to Patreon before they’re live on my tumblr because I like to space out recolor posts on my tumblr. If I ever make something original, and I ever decide to make it early access, my ea period will never be more than 7 days, because I’m just as impatient as all of you.

I don’t care if you share my recolors with others. I don’t care if you merge them into big packages to make them easier for you to deal with in your game. I don’t even care if you reupload them -- just link my tumblr or patreon page for credit and don’t combine it with the original mesh if I didn’t include it myself.

Here is the Early Summer Transparency Post which we closed the inbox for this weekend to complete. 

Also, we’d like to just take this chance to post a quick note. It's come to our attention that Ashley Salyer, the ex of Nathan Bates, got engaged recently. Congrats to them! At this point, we prefer to respect the privacy of Ashley and her family by keeping their future off the blog. Asks about her time on BuB and her relationship with Nathan are still fine, but we won't be posting more updates on her from this point.

Thank you for understanding! 

Between school and a lack of submissions, there hasn’t been as much activity on this blog as there used to be so if y’all want to see it pick back up I’m looking for confessions that are the opposite of the ones in this post!

The transparency post was designed to be monthly, but due to my schedule I have almost never gotten it put together on time. To make it a little easier on me, my fellow admins and I have decided to make it seasonal instead. The transparency post will now follow our seasonal breaks, which means the next one will follow our Spring Break, likely in March. 

Thank you for your patience, the Spring Break TP is finally done! 

Due to my crazy semester, it has been too long since we posted a transparency post. I apologize, but am hopeful I will be more active this upcoming Spring semester! The transparency post ended up being so large that using blogspot to format it made sense. If you’re new around here, you can see our ask policy here for a general description of what the transparency post is. 

With that, our inbox is officially open after the break! Hope everyone had a lovely holiday season and is enjoying 2020 so far.