#transition phase

I don't have kalie with me, and now I'm pretty sure she's fucking sick. 2 weeks in. 2 weeks after saying to Samiam "I won't forgive you if she dies and I'm not there" "that's a risk I'm willing to take"

As he has no plans for anything to change. Just expectations that it'll get easier or idk, maybe that I'll move out in 6 months or something.

It's just me bending to his likes and wants.

Like he's already hindering all of my uniqueness but keeping me happy with the bubbliness and the memories and the physical activities we do.

I have a whole house of stuff to move. And I'm just to tuck it neatly away in storage because. Because that's how it is. I'm walking into his apartment. His abode. The place he wants to exist in. Not a place he wants *us* to actually exist in. He likes having me there, the company there, but he doesn't want anything more than that. He doesn't want my comfort, or my happiness to be strewn around.

And I'm to the point where I feel uncomfortable bringing anything else into the apartment because I've barely brought anything, a few boxes of fucking artwork I've collected and he's already looking at me like a mad woman "where is this going to go?" like.......mk. naturally I was under some impression we were on the same page when I said I'd bring my art to decorate with and eventually he came back to me and said "yeah the walls are kind of bare" but now that it's me wanting to decorate he's like "I need a full wall tapestry for this here wall"

Okiedokie sir. You do you. Thank you for the reminder I'm not where I should probably be.

I think I'll start browsing apartments and townhomes.

Not that it's going to fucking matter. Or feel good when I'm there. Because now I'm terrified kalie won't fucking be there.

And that's just scratching the surface.

Not to mention the fact that my husband is still my husband and I think very much holding onto hopes that the friendship he's trying to spark back in us will continue to spark everything we've lost. And I don't know how to tell him differently anymore. I guess I'm not saying the right words at all. But I fucking hate that I'm hurting him. And I think I fucking hate that I'm not doing things the way I wanted to.

Go to my mom's. Suffer for some time. Find a place. Deal with the heartbreak and figure out how to navigate it all. But instead I'm over here floating on cloud 9 and in between cloud hopping I break a little bit then bounce right back onto the cloud.

Like.

I'm literally fucking failing myself all over again.

Everything I do is for that moment of happy. And what the fuck am I doing. Am I going to regret these moments of happy when I look back and realize I should have been looking for a place for kalie and I to live?

What. The. Fuck. Am I doing

I have a whole fucking house of shit to move somewhere else and I'm literally living with someone who might want to be my boyfriend while also basically keeping all of my uniqueness and quirkiness at bay.

ऑटोमोटिव उद्योग बदलाव के दौर में है, उल्लेखनीय रूप से वृद्धि की ओर अग्रसर है: श्री पीयूष गोयल

ऑटोमोटिव कंपोनेंट उद्योग का भविष्य- एक दूसरे से जुड़ा, सुविधा सम्पन्नता, स्वच्छ ऊर्जा और स्वच्छ अत्याधुनिक तकनीक पर निर्भर है: श्री गोयल ऑटो-कंपोनेंट उद्योग को सरकार से संपर्क साधना चाहिए यदि उन्हें स्थानीयकरण के बजाय आयात करने के लिए मजबूर किया जा रहा है उद्योग जगत से अंतरराष्ट्रीय स्तर पर अपनी क्षमता का विस्तार और भारत को विश्व में अग्रणी बनाने का आग्रह किया श्री गोयल ने 62वें ऑटोमोटिव कंपोनेंट…

Transition phase of concrete- Effect of the transition phase of Concrete

Concrete is considered to be two-phase material 1.Paste phase 2.Aggregate phase At the microscope level, the complexities of the concrete begin to slow up, particularly in the vicinity of large aggregate particles. This area is considered as a third phase called the transit zone, which represents the interfacial region zone between the particles of coarse aggregate and hardened paste. The…