#transformers dialogue

Reader: Girl, I say keep hamming that chassis, get 👏him 👏pregnant👏, if gravity couldn't stop us from reaching the stars BIOLOGY SURE WON'T 🤌KEEP 👏 ON 👏THE 👏FIGHT 👏TRUST THE PROCESS!

Megatron: what... are they talking about

Starscream: there are two of them now?

Starscream: Good work back there, Commander! I knew you’d be able to succeed and not be torn apart by an angry cement mixer. I even started to back away mid-fight to give you room. In case you thought I was running off. We’re a team after all!

Bonecrusher: Starscream! You absolute monster!

Starscream: Oh what is it now and also the Commander did it. Probably.

Bonecrusher: Most of the Constructicons have been devoured. It’s just me and Mixmaster now. At best that’s an arm and a leg. What can we do with that?

Starscream: …hop and wave?

Bonecrusher: RAAARRGHHH!

(fighting)

Bonecrusher: Your Sharkticons have devoured every scrap of Energon, every Energy Absorber, and are turning on us!

Starscream: They are proactive forces of destruction. It’s not like they have an off-switch.

Bonecrusher: Megatron says that they won’t fight without a leader. If we blast you from the surface of this world we may save everyone.

Starscream: Of course he wants me dead! I keep trying to kill him. I lead the Decepticons now and you’ll follow my commands.

Bonecrusher: Not while Megatron’s Spark still lights. I’m gonna rip you apart so you know what it feels like to lose your buddies and your body.

Starscream: Well then I know where we’re headed once the Commander deals with you.

Bonecrusher: To put my buddies back together because I convinced you you’re wrong?

Starscream: Knock, knock. Any starving former dictators of Decepticons home?

Megatron: Ah, the Shark Leader. The cause of the great famine. My pathetic lieutenant returns.

Starscream: I see my new reputation precedes me. And how are you holding up in these trying times, Megatron?

Megatron: Since you have caused a depletion of resources and a scattering of our kind, I have come to seek new sources of Energon.

Starscream: Working hard? Mining it yourself? Redistribution of stockpiled wealth amongst those who need it?

Megatron: Like your Sharkticons, I eat when I please. I strip Energon from any waste of scrap unfortunate enough to cross my path and devour their very circuits.

Starscream: Making our former friends into lunch-boxes was my next guess.

(fighting)

Starscream: So that’s the endgame of your great leadership? Keep your lackies around as an Energon buffet? You know you are what you eat.

Megatron: If that is the case, then I am about to become a backstabbing, screeching, worm of a Decepticon.

Starscream: Huh… you’re going to eat yourself? A noble sacrifice, great Megatron.

Megatron: There is no bottom to the depth at which I loathe you, Starscream.

Starscream: How it pains me to hear this. I am heartbroken and inconsolable. I shall just have to find joy in watching the Commander smash you!

Marissa Faireborn: Commander, you did a Time-Slide alone. Teletraan comparison shows this is a universe where Starscream lead a Sharkticon army to… well, “victory”, I suppose. Seems in this timeline Starscream and a human Commander were actually rather close. Your best plan is to follow along until you can Slide again.

Starscream: Commander! There you are. I have heard that some of my dearest Decepticon compatriots were looking for me and I wanted you by my side. If things go sideways, I’ll also need you standing in front of me… for cover.

(Fighting)

Mixmaster: Starscream! Reveal yourself, you jumped-up jet-fueled jack-axle!

Starscream: You rang, oh Mixed-one?

Mixmaster: Your sharks ate my friends!

Starscream: I can’t be expected to keep track of every hungry mouth. Maybe your friends were just too edible. Have you considered that?

Mixmaster: You used to go on and on about your plans! But now that you’re in charge you ain’t got a plan for nothin’ and we’re all suffering.

Starscream: Well this was all, ah, the Commander’s idea. Yes, they are just too proud and noble to say it. Commander, was this your plan? (silence) You see? They are so very powerful. They harness the strength of silence.