#trans denmark

nyo nedden doodles inspired by this post by @cupofkey​ 

5. one night stand and falling pregnant au

trans people deserve all the love k thnx

—

Mathias loved to go to bars. The atmosphere, the drinks, all of it. It was all in good fun and while he didn’t go out every weekend, he always felt more relaxed when he got that first drink in his hands. 

He never left with anyone, though. Most girls were… they never really expected him to not have a dick. There was certainly a sense of pride at his own masculinity when chicks started pulling on his arms at the bars, but his blood always ran cold the instant he remembered that he was built a bit different from other men. 

He didn’t feel particularly frustrated by it, it was merely the cards he’d been dealt. 

Mathias was sitting at the bar and laughing at something a girl next to him had said when he felt an arm slide around his shoulders. Stiffening, Mathias turned his gaze to the side and felt suddenly breathless. 

“Hey,” they said seductively, a certain charm to his smirk. His face was like liquid gold, smooth, languid, and beautifully shaped. 

“Hey,” Mathias said dumbly. 

“I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before,” he said, sliding into the bar stool next to Mathias. The girl on his other side pursed her lips but didn’t bother, turning her attention to a new man. The man with gold in his eyes still had his hands around Mathias and moved the stool closer to him. 

“I, uh…” Mathias licked his lips and leaned forward. “This is my third time here.” 

“I guess I missed you. I’m Lovino,” he said, shifting even closer and pressing his body to Mathias’s. Closer up Mathias could tell that Lovino was italian, and he wondered if his skin was infused with sunshine from the warmth emanating from his skin. 

“Mathias,” he responded breathlessly. 

“Mathias,” Lovino stretched his name out, rolling it off his tongue. Mathias shivered. “I’d like to get to know you a little better, what say you?” The way he pressed his hand on Mathias’s thigh told him exactly how Lovino wanted to get to know him. 

“I…” Mathias bit his lip and looked down, disappointment boiling in his stomach. “I’m not what you’re expecting.” 

Lovino blinked in confusion and Mathias’s mouth went dry. “I don’t have…” 

Thankfully, that was all he had to say, as Lovino widened his eyes in understanding. Then he leaned forwards, pressed his lips to Mathias’s ear, and whispered, “I don’t care about that.” 

When he drew back, eyes lidded, Mathias was sold. For the first time, he went home with somebody else and woke up naked in a stranger’s bed. 

—

Five weeks later, Mathias was having a panic attack. 

He wasn’t particularly sure why, exactly. The one-night stand with Lovino had been magical but, as a one-night stand, only happened once. He hadn’t seen Lovino since. 

“Breathe,” Lukas instructed, rubbing deep circles on his shoulders with his thumbs. Lukas continued to tell him how to breathe, counting and breathing with him. Mathias was eternally grateful for his best friend’s help. 

When the low-grade panic attack had passed, Lukas drew away and addressed him, saying, “Was there a reason for that one?” 

“N–” Mathias stopped. A stirring in his abdomen told him that it wasn’t, and the reason hit him like a truck. He felt suddenly lightheaded. “I haven’t had my period yet.” 

“What?” Lukas asked, a million emotions trying to force their way out of his mouth. 

“I haven’t…” Mathias started to laugh, hysteria bubbling through his throat. “I haven’t had my period yet!” 

“Have you…” Lukas swallowed, taking Mathias by the shoulders. “Have you had sex with anyone in the passed month?” 

“Yeah.” 

All the blood left Lukas’s face at once. “Shit.” 

He repeated that word multiple times as they drove to the drugstore, and many times more when Mathias, dumbfounded and not sure if he was feeling any emotions, held out a stick with a plus sign on it. 

“Do you know who their other parent is?” 

He nodded, then shook his head with a mumbled, “He won’t be here for this.” 

“Are you… going to keep the baby?” Lukas finally asked. “You don’t have to decide right now.” 

“I…” Mathias looked down at his stomach, pressing his splayed fingers to it. He imagined a small heartbeat flickering at his fingertips. “I think I will keep it.” 

Lukas nodded, worry playing across his face. “You can always change your mind later, remember.”

“I know.”

“Alright.” Lukas fell silent, then, “are you okay?” 

So sometimes, just sometimes I have a hard time feeling sorry for other trans people. Because if I get rejected by the ‘clinic’ after a few conversations that’s IT. I can’t complain or get a second opinion from another clinic. I can’t even go back to the ‘clinic’ later and try again. You get ONE shot, and if they don’t think you’re suffering from this illness the rest of your life is ruined. I’ll have to have kids with my girlfriend as a lesbian couple. I’ll have to marry her as a girl. I’ll try to put my kids in school and the principal thinks its odd that a man and wife shows up, not two women. And I gotta just quickly mention the law that applies here. The castration law. Sweden just removed it. But 12 countries still has it, mine included. If I ever get as far as to change my gender legally I’ll have to submit myself to mutilation just to change the F to an M. Doesn’t matter if I had bottom surgery, nahah.