#trans!bill

Richie slings his bag over his shoulder, walking cheerfully out of the store, Peter's sporting goods, the only job he's ever had where he's as close to his employer as he is.

He walks with a hop in his step all the way to his pickup truck, tossing his bag into the passenger seat as he starts the old vehicle. He turns the music up on high and rolls down his windows, rolling out of the parking lot, singing loudly to the radio.

"Headed on the highway! Lookin for adventure, and whatever comes my way!" He sings alone, dancing in his seat, using his face to express himself, keeping his hands on the wheel, he's gotten in trouble for that before.

He pulls into his driveway, creeping in to see his daughters on the couch, some random movie on. Chloe asleep on top of Espen and Veronica on her phone, looking bored with babysitting.

He creeps behind them, putting his hands on Veronica's shoulders and making a loud roaring sound. She jumps in her spot, spinning around quickly, "Godamnit dad, it's not funny anymore," she huffs, shutting her phone off.

"Ah, Ronny, get a sense of humor," he smiles, turning to a sleepy, but now awake, Espen and Chloe, "you guys sleep well? I think you'd both prefer your beds," he says, Immediately picking Chloe up in his arms, "Espen I'd carry you too- but Chloe is four and you're eleven- I think you'd crush me," he chuckles, hoisting Chloe up higher, her head on his shoulder.

"Got it dad," she smiles, grabbing the air and standing up, walking around the couch like she's holding someone's hand, "Mom and I are going to bed," she informs him, hugging him one handedly and running up the stairs, never letting go of the invisible hand.

"Tell your mother I love and miss her!" He shouts up the stairs, smiling when Chloe doesn't so much as stir, the deepest sleeper of his three kids. He turns to Veronica, "You planning on sleeping any time soon?" He inquires.

"I have to run an errand," she says simply, "can I borrow the truck?" She asks, standing up to get closer to meeting his eyes.

"Uh, you don't have your license so you can't drive without good ole pops here, but I can't leave Chloe and Espen, can it wait until tomorrow?"

Veronica shifts awkwardly in her spot, "Um, not exactly," she says, running her hand up and down her arm.

"What? Ya buying drugs? Because I don't approve," he asks, tapping his toe, still smirking though, just teasing.

"Uh- no," she replies, looking down at the ground, "I just have to, seriously, please?"

"Really can't let you, champ, what do you need?" He asks, ruffling her hair and shifting Chloe's position again.

Embarrassment spreads over Veronica's face, dragging her hands down her face, "uh, I'm on my period," she says quietly, whispering it nearly to herself, no matter how often she's had to talk about this with her dad, it never gets better.

"What? Didn't hear you, Ronny," he says, leaning in and cupping his hand behind his ear teasingly.

"I'm on my period!" She basically shouts at him, before sulking back a little.

His face falls awkwardly, "fuck, uh- yeah forgot you get those," he says with a grimace, "uh, get Chloe to bed, I uh- I'll get the stuff," he promises, handing the smaller girl over.

He walks back out to the car, humming softly and starting the car, backing out of the driveway and down to the closest gas station. He walks into the fluorescently lit building with the jingle of the bell.

He walks over to the "feminine hygiene" aisle, looking with wide eyes up and down the wife variety on the shelf, why the fuck are there so many options? He thinks to himself, grabbing the first box he sees.

Bill is in another aisle, looking over the beer options, he'd run out, and it's just about how he lasts through a night home with his kids without good mad. Richie sees him, walking over and tapping his shoulder, "the apple kind is the best, just a tip," he grins.

Bill doesn't look over, "Special flavors are for pussies," he says simply, grabbing his usual six pack and turning to be met with Richie.

"Hooters dude?" He asks, sounding almost appalled.

Richie puts his hand in his pocket, still holding the box of pads awkwardly, "Most people tend to call me Richie, but I suppose calling me Hooters dude works," he shrugs.

"You took me on a date to Hooters, a first date," Bill sighs, trying to brush past him, noticing the box, "those yours?" He asks, looking a bit confused.

"Uh- no, my daughter," Richie says awkwardly, "Forget satan’s waterfall exists sometimes," he says awkwardly, rocking back and forth on his feet.

"You? Daughter?" Bill asks, his voice high in his surprise, "Whatever- those are wrong," he informs.

"What? No, they're what she needs, right?" Richie asks, "Little sticky blood napkins?" He asks, referring to them with a "funny" name out of his awkwardness.

"Uh, no, c'mon, those are for old ladies," Bill says, dragging Richie by the sleeve to the aisle again, grabbing a smaller box and handing it over, taking the other one and putting it back.

"How do you know so much about this shit? You got kids?"

"Two sons. I know about vaginas because I had one for half my life," he says before walking away from Richie to put his beer on the checkout counter.

Richie stands dumbfounded, chasing after him, "What? But you-?" He starts before Bill shushes him.

"Shut up before you say something offensive. It's called transgender, it's late, I'm going home to my kids, look it up if you have to," he shrugs before paying and walking off, the soft jingle of the bell confirming his exit.

Richie hears his cell ring as he checks out, reading the contact name, Peter. He picks up as soon as he does, "Nyello!" He greets, only to hear quiet crying on the other end. "Peter? Eddie broke up with you? Because your kids?" He asks, taking his plastic bag and walking out on the phone, "your trip? Oh god, no refunds?" He talks all the way to the car, talking to his sad friend the entire way home, "I can buy the trip off you?" He suggests as he locks up the car in the driveway. Peter agrees, and Richie feels a bit guilty for capitalizing on his friend's pain, but as he hangs up he whispers "yes!" To himself and fist bumps the air.