#trainer gary

As Gary watched the two traveling partners laugh, he felt something not so unexpected suddenly burn in his chest. Hot, hot jealousy. Furious enough to even rival the flaring fire that was shooting through the fangs of his rival’s Chrizard. Now tall and shining, the creature could have easily surpassed almost any of Gary’s own Pokemon, and he knew it.

Gary hadn’t seen Ash in quite a while now, and though it was clear that he must have spent some time training his annoyingly tough looking Charizard into one that actually obeyed, Gary wasn’t naive enough to think that that was the only thing he’d been spending his time doing. Gary’s hands balled up into fists as he watched Ash lean against that new traveling partner, practically begging to get punched as the two rubbed their shoulders together. (As usual, Ash had to stand on his tiptoes to even reach.)

Who did this new guy think he was, anyway?! Happily parading around the Kanto region with Gary’s rival as if they’d been the ones to promise forever rivalry to each other. As if they’d been the ones starting as “friends” from the start.

Gary ducked behind a tree to watch as the small group made their way away from the dock and headed towards the more traditional route to Pallet town. Misty was lagging behind slightly as she played with a very excitable looking Togepi. (Had Gary seen it before? Ash had been away for so long he could hardly remember. And, besides, even if he had, their meetings even before Ash’s rendezvous in the Orange Islands had been getting so few and far between that Gary had probably spent as much of the most recent one as he could just eying up his rival.)

Had he really known what it would mean when Ash went to the Orange League without him? Why hadn’t he gone along for the ride?

Gary narrowed his eyes as Ash hugged the new guy, burying his face in the green shirt of his walking partner like no one else at all was around. Maybe “ride” was a more appropriate descriptor than Gary had hoped.

He inched a little closer as the two stopped, waiting for a moment for Misty to catch up with them.

“Glad she didn’t see that,” Ash’s friend was whispering out of the corner of his mouth, “What was it that you said she did whenever Brock would flirt?”

Ash laughed, and though it was a clear and happy sound, Gary just felt sick to his stomach. Brock? Had he too been an option for Ash before Gary was? (And if so, why should he be so surprised about it? He just had to look at what he was seeing to understand a whole new side to Ash.)

“Tracey!” (so that was his name) Ash shook his head, “Brock was so much worse than you, and she never slapped him for flirting with me,” he paused, though the blood that pounded in Gary’s ears made his next words near unhearable, “At least as far as I saw…”

“Guys!” Misty called, running the last couple of steps to reach her friends, “Where are we going next?”

“Professor Oak’s Lab, right?” Ash said, somewhat unsure. He paused, and Gary suddenly realized that his cheating rival was thinking about him as he added, “There’s people I want to see there,”

“Professor Oak?” Tracey interrupted, his voice so full of wonder and excitement that Gary actually felt ill. This Tracey guy was even worse than Gary had first assumed. Gary rolled his eyes as Tracey continued to ramble about supposed “great feats” of research that the Professor had accomplished. If he was really any lover of Ash, he should have known that one of the only really commendable things Professor Oak did that hadn’t been done before or better by another researcher was his constant cheering on of Ash. (To tell the truth, Gary had recently been finding more and more respect in what his grandfather did for a living, but the childish excitement of this green haired nobody was quickly erasing those feelings. Such weak wonders paled under the crushing weight of Gary’s jealousy.)

“Should we fly there then, if you’re so excited to see him?” Ash laughed, gesturing to his Charizard, who looked like he was thoroughly enjoying being back in the forests of the mainland. Ash paused, and Gary would have been stupid to miss a hint of longing in his voice, as he said, “He’s the grandfather of my first rival, you know.”

First rival, was that all he was? (At the very least, Gary could be glad that Tracey stiffened with a hint of his own jealousy at that.)

“Oh yeah, Ash,” Misty interrupted, either not noticing Tracy’s discomfort or ignoring it, “Have you been keeping in touch with Gary?”

There was a quick, awkward pause, which Ash tried (and failed) to cover by picking up Pikachu. “Um,” he struggled, while Gary scoffed to himself. Of course he hadn’t. “Well-,”

“Ash!” Misty gasped, somewhat appalled, though to Gary’s displeasure Tracey looked downright relieved. 

That couldn’t possibly do. In a split second, Gary knew what he had to do. Even if it protected his unreliable rival, so long as he made Tracey upset, he was happy.

“Of course he did!” Gary interrupted Misty right before she began one of her tirades, stepping out of the trees and smirking at Ash, who looked somewhere between nauseous and relieved to see him. “Didn’t you, Ashy boy?”

Honestly, even he couldn’t tell if his tone was threatening or flirty, but either way it seemed to work, at least, if Tracey’s unconscious hiss was any indication of how he was feeling.

“Were you listening in on us?!” Tracey asked, almost accusingly, “Is that why you come up so much? Because you might be behind us?”

Gary narrowed his eyes, but his smirk did not falter. He was liking this guy less and less by the second, clearly he had been right in popping up to annoy him. And as for Ash…

Gary turned to his rival, completely ignoring the question as he drank in the expression of utter embarrassment on Ash’s face. Oh yes, this was what he lived for.

“I’m glad to see you again!” He said cheerily, pulling Ash into a hug that copied the way Ash and Tracey had embraced before. (To his surprise, Ash actually hugged back, and though it was faint, Gary’s face twitched in surprise. Despite everything, it truly seemed that Ash really had wanted to see Gary again.)

Gary pulled back, suddenly unsure.

“Do you need a guide?” he asked, and then, once he realized how pathetically unsure he sounded, he added, “You were away for so long I thought you might have forgotten the way to my place,”

Ash made an awful whimpering sound, and Gary felt his smirk widen even further, even as Misty scoffed and interrupted him.

“Oh be serious Gary,” she said (Gary turned to see that her hand was resting comfortingly on Tracey’s shoulder), “Any Pallet Trainer worth their starter knows the way to the lab, and besides…” She narrowed her eyes, “You don’t even live there, you’re a trainer like the rest of us,”

Gary opened his mouth to speak, looking on as one of Tracey’s hands twitched slightly, but Ash grabbed Gary’s shoulder, catching him off guard as he dug his fingernails in. “Um,” he interrupted, “Excuse us,”

Before Gary could even protest, Ash was dragging him away and into the woods, leaving the sounds of Tracey mumbling in shock and Misty quietly comforting him behind them.

Once they were relatively out of earshot, Ash spun around and glared up at Gary. He felt his heart skip a beat, while Gary had grown in the time Ash had taken on the Orange League, Ash had not, but even so, the anger in his now black eyes made Gary take a shocked step back.

“What is wrong with you?!” He spat, though Gary just stared back at him, shocked, “Do you think everything is about you? Who do you think you are?! You don’t own me you know!”

Gary opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He closed it again.

“Answer me, come on,” Ash commanded, still angry, “I know how smart you are, I know you have an answer, so give it to me!”

Gary tried again, but again nothing came out. Cold wind rustled through the trees.

“Gary…” Ash said, surprising Gary with a sudden shift into pleading, “Please…”

“I-,”

Ash looked up at him, his eyes faded back from coal black to soft brown. Gary swallowed hard. He had to say it. There was no way around it.

“I- I love you,”

His words hung in the air like an awful smell, Ash’s eyes widened as their color darked again.

Gary’s heart sped up. He wasn’t wanted here. He had to get out of here. He turned, hot tears suddenly threatening to spill down his face, but Ash’s voice stopped him. Quiet at first, and then growing louder and more confident as he went on.

“You know,” he murmured, “I never could forget you,”

“Oh come on Ash,” Gary could tell that he was pleading as he spoke, but he didn’t care, “Don’t lie to me, you don’t have to-,”

“No, I mean it,” Ash said, almost scared, but more confident now, “I was only out of the region for a year, but I never stopped thinking about you,” He began to pace, twigs crunching and cracking up his feet, “I know it’s not right, but I can’t help it,”

He stopped, and there was a pause as the distant roar of Ash’s Charizard echoed through the woods. Pikachu purred as Ash scratched behind his ears, clearly trying to calm himself down more than he was working to quiet the little yellow Pokemon.

“What about Tracey?” Gary whispered, dreading the answer.

Ash stopped petting Pikachu, and closed his eyes like looking at Gary hurt him. “I think I love him,” he said, voice shaky and weak again, “But you- I-,”

He stopped.

“I what?” Gary breathed, stepping forward and reaching up, stopping right before grabbing Ash’s hand, “What do you mean?”

Ash’s voice was still shaking when he finally responded.

“I think I love you too,” His eyes were pleading.

Gary’s hand dropped to his side. His mind racing and spinning through emotions and memories. Anger? Jealousy? Relief? Joy? What was he feeling?

What was he feeling?

“So. What now? What now that you’re back here?” Gary asked, his voice now so soft that it surprised even him, “Back in Kanto, what will you do?”

Ash took in a shaky breath, and brushed a hand through his hair. “I want to keep adventuring, I have more league to win,”

“With Tracey?” Gary breathed

“He said he wants to stay,”

“With where?”

“I don’t know,”

“Will you go with me?”

“You’re my rival, I can’t do that,”

Gary bit his lip. How had this become so complicated?

“So what are you going to do?” He asked, fearing an answer for the second time that conversation, “Traveling alone isn’t safe,”

“I don’t know,” Ash was almost whispering, looking at the forest floor with sad eyes. His gaze hardened, and the brown left his eyes once more. “But it can’t be without you, you know that,”

Gary froze, though he’d known it was coming. “Ash, please,” He reached out, but Ash brushed his hand away.

“Come on Pikachu,” Ash murmured, not meeting Gary’s eyes as he began to walk away, “Let’s get back to the others,”

Gary’s knees shook as he watched him go. What was going on? He couldn't just leave like that! It had been so long since they had seen each other, this couldn't be their reunion, there was no way! But Ash's words rang in Gary's head. “You don't own me,” he had said.

He knew that, didn't he? 

Didn't he?

This time, Gary waited until Ash was out of earshot before he crumpled to his knees and began to cry.

Notes:

Song list of the playlist 1. Nobody Likes The Opening Band, I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME 2. Stuff is the Way, They Might Be Giants 3. Built For Blame, Get Scared 4. Allesfresser, Till Lindemann 5. HEAD, Jeff Rosenstock 6. Doombop!, The Toxhards 7. Dead On Arrival, Fall Out Boy 8. Voices In My Head (clean), Falling In Reverse 9. Circles, Pierce The Veil 10. The Ghost Of You, My Chemical Romance

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