@tragedestined asked: ❝ I’ve loved many boys and girls. ❞ (Kiyomasa)
How does one properly love ‘ many ’ people ? Uta comprehends that her vision of love is intense, bordering on something unsettling at times. Love isn’t lighthearted to her. So, the conclusion her mind forms is that it is impossible for him to have loved all of them. Why, if someone sincerely loves someone, they’d want to have everything, right ? Their love, their gaze, their heart, their being.
A frown slowly slips onto her face. She thinks she can compromise and believe it’s possible to love more than once in a lifetime but ‘ many boys and girls ’ ? He’s already admitted to it, so it’s not as if it’s polite to hold back some kind of comment on it. Silence would be more unnerving.
“ Did you ... truly love them ? ” It comes out more accusatory than anything. And maybe somewhere deep down she is accusing him. Of what ? Of treating love - her most treasured fantasy of all - like something so lighthearted, so inconsequential.
“ No, it is my mistake, ” she says, an apologetic, tight smile appearing on her lips. “ All people have different ways of love, is that not so ? It was rude of me to overlay my perspective onto you. ”
The mood is forcefully shifted into one akin to playful and ordinary. It’s better suited to the kind of conversation they should be having.
“ But I suppose it makes sense for you to have lots of suitors, Kiyomasa-sama, given your personality and talents. ”
She’s almost tempted to ask him if he remembers some better than others, unlike her, who can barely recall their outlines. Uta is equally as tempted to ask if there is someone he likes now, wishing to engage in the sort of friendly gossip that companions do, but restrains the words. Oh, but love. Love makes her momentarily lose herself, eyes glazing over in secretive daydreams.
“ You are lucky, then, to love and have been loved. It must be pleasant. For me -- ” And then, the faintest shift in her eyes takes place again. There’s an ominous haze that overtakes crimson, resembling a twisted form of elation she possessed unknown to anyone else ( besides him now ). “ I suppose it is similar to the way you want to eat after being hungry for a long time. Yes, something like that kind of hunger ... ”
Just as swiftly, all traces of whatever that was disappear, replaced by the usual demeanor. She accompanies the shift with a nervous giggle.
“ D-Do not look at me oddly. I admit I am not good with words concerning this sometimes. So, I apologize if something came out sounding strange. ”
But that was probably the most truthful she’s ever been in front of Kiyomasa.
