63-65/365
Wow I really really suck, but okay Sunday was hard and was recovery day. And hey, I warned you. Woke up late and to many missed calls and unanswered texts. It was nice catching up though, realized how much I’ve missed everyone. Saw way too many people at the bar though, but hey I looked good and I danced with the cutest guy there. WHICH TO BE HONEST never happens. I ain’t like that at all. I actually went for it. I saw what I wanted and I got it, even though I got many a side eye from jealous bitches who were trying to work him. AND i left him haha, my jam came on and I had to go back to dance with my squa. Should’ve stuck with them though, instead of “disappearing and then appearing.” But hey, I couldn’t help it T_T My best friend was there and I haven’t seen her in two months either so..... but still not as bad as other times so yay me.
I thought it was a successful weekend, but there was an underlying drama that honestly I realize I am very easily swayed. I also realized that I mean a lot to people too. Like people actually confide in me. Which is weird, I don't know. I guess it’s always surprising for me to find out the amount of impact that I have on someone’s life. I hate emotions ugh. Anyways, yeah, a friend was hurt and even though it wasn’t my fault, the way I reacted was shitty. Even if I was busy or caught up. I should’ve let her know that I was here, that if she needed me I was here. I couldn’t even do that. And I am sorry. I can sit here and think of so many excuses, but the point is, people have feelings. People need affirmation, people need to know man. I don't know, I just have a hard time taking shit seriously.... Actually that is real problem that I need to fix. I need to take things more seriously.
Sunday was recovery day, flying is so much easier man. And if you are not signed up for miles, you need to start. It is literally the best thing ever. Have redeemed flights before so. Yippee Kay Yay.
WAIT EDIT THAT AWKWARD MOMENT WHEN I DIDN’T FLY LOL IT WAS LAST WEEKEND but hey, still though. I stand by what I say.
Anyways was only on 3 hours of sleep, and didn’t nap, waited to just sleep at night. Going to try and get back on that regular grind. Kind of forgot what happened on Monday.... was supposed to cook dinner but, it’s shark week for me so instead went to get tofu. Not a very exciting day besides the prospect of what’s happening at the end of the month. I really shouldn’t. I realllllly shouldn’t, Considering whose going and how much it is and what I should be doing instead. However, I am in my prime, and even though right now, where I’m at I truly don’t deserve it, I will. I will work for this.
