#totallyradioactive15

☀️ one year of ballum ask meme ☀️

GIFs

Amazing!! Do I know anything about colouring, pacing, or even how to make a gif? No. Do I love looking at Jess’ gifs? Hell fucking yes I do!! One of my favourite things is that a lot of her gifs have lyrics/quotes over them and they’re always so cleverly picked out and fitting to whatever scene gifed.

She has a series called “Ballum in Every Episode” where she makes gifs of Ballum moments in each episode and it’s such a lovely reminder of all the content we’ve been given so far. Right now its in August 2019 and the blast of nostalgia I get every time I see those gifsets on my dash is so nice.

Here’s three of my favourite gifs of Jess’! It was hard to narrow down lol but at the end of the day I am a slut for lyrics/quotes jfdsgfkja.

Fanfic

I actually read a couple of her works before I got given her blog so it was nice rereading some favourites! Her writing style is very descriptive so you very easily sink into whatever world she’s created. A lot of the time writers can forget that people can’t see whatever they’re thinking, so you’ll be told, for example, that person A is hugging person B and then A is somehow now making coffee, and you’re left to wonder when they broke out of the hug, or if they’re somehow still hugging. In Jess’ fics however there’s never that confusion which makes reading them such a lovely and relaxing experience.

Here’s my three favourite fics of hers!

Want One With You - Such a lovely fic and was what made me want Ballum to have kids of their own

Sick - I love love love seeing Callum get looked after. He’s been through so much and has gotten such little on screen comfort lately so this fic really made me happy :)

Sleep - Soft, sleepy, comfort fics are such an easy but nice read, and this one flows so well and is everything I wish we’d gotten after the first reunion back in January :)

Graphics

There may not be that many Ballum ones on her blog but the ones I did find I really loved! She has a Redbubble you can buy them on too! They’re really well designed and thought out and I just can’t stop going back to them!

Here’s my three favourites!

I’d love 42 from the Love prompts if you wouldn’t mind lovely!

i’ve got you (to make me feel stronger)

It happened like this every year. The time would come around, much faster than Ben could ever want, or anticipate. He would see the date, and it would knock him for six, remembering all the events leading up to it in the past. How happy he was, only for a few idiots to ruin his life in a matter of moments. In his heart of hearts, he knew the anniversary was coming up – they both did. Ben had become more of a recluse, never really wanting to leave the comfort of his bed, let alone the flat. The only person he wanted to be around was Callum, but even sometimes he couldn’t stomach that, with the guilt eating him up inside, because how dare he be happy, when Paul couldn’t. 

Callum didn’t know what to say. Nothing he could say would make it any better, or take away the anguish that Ben felt every year. In the past, he had said somethings, things that Callum thought would be helpful, but it was clear to see that talking about Paul wasn’t something that Ben could handle. And that was okay. Callum accepted that. But it still broke him to see his boyfriend like this, curled up in their bed each day, a box of tissues on their side table, opened in anticipation of when Ben passed the stage of numbness to arrive at the stage of uncontrollable tears. 

He sat on the edge of their bed, and ran his fingers through Ben’s hair, noticing that he probably hadn’t been in the shower for a few days. “Do you wanna go for a walk or something? Might do you good to get out the house for a bit.” 

Ben shook his head and closed his eyes. “No. Don’t want to leave.”

“Ok.” Callum whispered, still playing with Ben’s hair, soothing him. “That’s fine.”

  It was silent for a few moments, Callum twirling pieces of Ben’s hair around his fingers, Ben staring intently at Callum, as though he was reading his mind. Ben twisted his head a little bit, pressing his lips to Callum’s wrist, the faintest thump of his pulse on Ben’s lips, causing him to smile for what seemed like the first time in days. Normally around this time, a smile would be the cause of guilt and pain for Ben, but with Callum it was just normal and felt right. He couldn’t help but smile with Callum in his life, by his side. 

“I’m here for ya.” Callum spoke, cupping Ben’s face. “If you want to speak about anything. If you need me, I’m here. Always.”

Ben nodded. “I know. I need a hug.”

“I can do that.” Callum chuckled, leaning down and kissing Ben’s lips softly, not needing it to lead to anything more. “Budge over then.” 

Ben lifted the quilt, and Callum shuffled in, wrapping his arms around Ben, allowing Ben to rest his head on Callum’s chest, relaxing into the embrace, his racing mind finally resting for the first time in days as he heard the thump of Callum’s heart and felt the rise and fall of his chest.

“Love you.” Ben whispered, face pressed to Callum’s chest.

i’m doing okay, I hope you are too! i hope this is good for you

'How exactly did you manage to get stuck in there, Callum?' Ben came home to see Callum stuck in the bathroom, rattling the handle like thats going to get him out.

'Well if I knew that, I'd know how to get out. The handle must have gotten stuck. Just get me out Ben, I'd like to get dressed' Callum was stuck in it the bathroom for a few hours, trying to get out himself. He obviously didn't think to call anyone to help him

'You'd be out a lot sooner if you had called someone' 'Ben, please shut up and get me out'

Eventually Callum got out, towel hanging on his hips, 'Can I get dressed now?' 'What, no thank you?' 'Thank you, now please move' 'I was expecting more, not going to lie'

'Let me get dressed first and then I'd be with you' 'Sure you dont need a help with that? You know, in case you get stuck with anything' Callum knew this was going to be another thing Ben would tease him over for months to come.

hey jess!!! oh god, you’re definitely not alone in missing ben and callum, i’m feeling it extra hard at the moment. thank gif for the secrets of the square episode we have coming up, it’s so nice to have that to loook forward to - with the guarantee of seeing our favourite boys!! i’m looking forward to the whole thing, to be honest, but i’m especially looking forward to (spoiler alert!) hearing then discuss the christian/syed storyline. it’ll be super interesting to hear their thoughts on it and the be able to compare the two eastenders couples!

i’m excited for all and any questions!!! i really hope stacey focuses on them as individuals as well as a couple. in other words, i want her to directly ask tony if he has any content coming up. or in even simpler terms, please can stacey ask about/hint at a ptsd storyline or likewise 👀

i love love LOOOOVE that new picture fromnthe set!!! they both look so happy and it really highlights what good friends they are off-screen. which i adore 🥺 it’s definitely going to take some getting used to, seeing then so far apart (okay like 1+ meter isn’t thaaat far but it is when callum’s hand is usually surgically attached to ben’s head!)

Comfort in a storm has a very special place in my heart because I find it very comforting myself because Ben shares one of my own fears. I hope you enjoy this playlist as much as I enjoy this fic x

Safe and sound - Taylor Swift

Human - Christina Perri

Mr Loverman - (I can't for the life of me remember haha)

Thank you :’) Well, in this case, it’s hard to explain what I do because it really depends on the scene you choose. I mostly play with Saturation and Selective Color. I can have several saturation/sc layers because Eastenders is not great with colour grading. Maybe try with a scene who is really colourful just to practise a bit at first. I’m gonna put an example below just in case it helps you. So, here is my “normal” gif (I only used curves, levels and exposure here):

Then, I’m using Saturation to change all the colours in blue/cyan. This is what I got with the green:

I also played with the reds, yellows and magentas and I got this: 

And then you use Selective Color to accentuate the colours or to help you to change them even more. With my gif, I played with the blues and neutrals: 

Another layer almost like this, and here we go:

Honestly, once again, it really depends on the scene. Some are way easier to colour than others, but in every case it takes a lot time. My blue set took me two days because i tried a lot of scenes before finding the ones who worked the best. Eastenders is a real pain in the ass 🤣 And sometimes, I had like ten layers for one gif because I had to accentuate the red before changing it, etc! Hope this reply will help you a bit, good luck!