#totallyfubar

Qi Fang: why

I get what you’re going for here, but this is really insensitive. “Just stop being traumatized by the fact that the people you though you could rely on repeatedly betrayed your trust and hurt you or else you’re a burden in every relationship you’ll try to have”. Yeah ok, I’ll get right on that.

I’m not OP so I can’t speak for them, but I don’t think that’s what they were saying.

I believe they were saying that in your fear to be a huge burden, you make the situation worse and create a self-fulfilling prophecy, and it’s important to realize that. Nobody said conquering the fear was easy, but sometimes being faced with the actual reality of how you’re hurting yourself can help.

And I’m pretty sure OP intentionally said we’ll always be burdens? It’s important to realize you’re going to be a burden sometimes in every relationship, and so you need to just go ahead and let yourself lean on other people instead of trying to force yourself to stand alone until you collapse. 

That was their point; there isn’t an “or else” about it - it’s going to happen, and you need to let it happen, because it’s easier to get off someone’s shoulder than getting up off of them entirely with a boulder tied to your back, or getting up alone with the same boulder.