#topsurgeryexperience

I spent a majority of my time in the hotel binge watching Orange is the New Black, to be honest. I hadn’t watched the newer seasons and my friend hadn’t watched it at all, so we spent a week plus trying to get all of it in as we could.

I suppose I should mention how on the way back to the hotel, I was already attempting to put as many piercings as I could back in. Most were easy enough but a few - mainly my upper lip piercings - didn’t want to go through. Needless to say, I struggled in the hotel bathroom for about ten minutes before we decided to go to Walmart. I never recommend piercing yourself - or re-piercing for that matter - but I wasn’t about to be out $100 worth of holes. With that, we went on our merry way to Wally World and bought back-up studs and thick sewing needles. For having just gotten out of surgery not even three hours prior, I was pretty mobile and active. No pain other than my sternum feeling bruised.

I managed to get my piercing situation out of the way and back to binge watching and eating. And that was most of my first week post-op. I never had more than a discomforting feeling of pain, which I subdued with painkillers. I kept up with my antibiotics and anti-inflammatory meds. I did, however, feel horrible within my gut for a few days after surgery. To spare the details, post-op constipation is no joke. Though on the third day, I felt like a bear who just got out of hibernation when I was finally able to go. My bloated belly looked vastly different after and I felt a hundred times better.

The worst part was likely having to sleep on my back (and still is, to be honest). I mainly slept elevated with about five pillows behind me; the hotel pillows were quite squishy and not in the least bit helpful for what I needed them for, but five managed to get the job done. 

The first few days we emptied the drains every twelve hours (9am and 9pm) but they then seemed to lessen and even out after that, so we only emptied them in the morning, or maybe it was at night. Either way, it was only once a day. My right drain was quick to pull out what it needed and was clearing up fast (thank you, white blood cells), but my left never wanted to drain as much and stayed a rich red throughout the week, only lightening by a few shades compared to the first day with them in.

I would rate my first seven days post-op as quite easy, thanks to having my friend to help me open or grab things when I couldn’t (yay t-rex arms). I was required to have someone watch over me for the first 24 hours but it definitely helped to have someone there for the initial week, especially to help empty the drains and such. I was paranoid about possibly snagging them on something, but managed to avoid it with only a few close calls.

The week flew by and before I knew it, we were on the way to the surgeon’s office for my post-op appointment. It was a bit surreal how I was soon going to be seeing my chest for the first time and getting the drains out. With each day, the tape and tight bandage was becoming more and more itchy and bothersome. My armpits were ready to be free of it. Not to mention my sternum wanting relief from the tight compression. It was worse than any binder I had ever wore, which amused me because I thought about all the people yelling at others to not bind for x amount of time, or don’t bind with bandages, etc. It really made me question.

The wait in the office was almost agonising. I was ready to get everything off and out and grew more and more impatient. I was the only one in the office at first, but soon more appointments started coming in and I felt the same little enjoyment I felt a week prior knowing that there were actual trans people around me; living in a place where trans people are safest living as stealth as possible will do that.

Eventually I was being called back where I then got to wait some more after being told to take my shirt off and hold my drains in my hands. It wasn’t too long before Dr Garramone came in. I mainly remember the exhilarating feeling of relief that washed over me as the bandage was undone. With each unwrap, I felt more and more bliss as my back cried for joy. Once it was off, all that was left was the actual bandage and tape, which Dr G was quick to take off; it was amazing how literally every movement by him and his staff were like a perfectly choreographed dance, though that’s what happens when you perfect such tasks and have had as much experience in them as they have.

The big reveal was honestly.. odd. I would imagine that most would want to spring up and stare at themselves in the mirror and relish in the site of their chest. I looked down and peered at the flatness that I now possessed, staring for a few moments. I didn’t get up. Dr Garramone told me that I could get up and look in the mirror if I wanted to, as if ushering me to, but I still didn’t move. I simply looked over at the mirror, at my chest, and smiled faintly. I told him I was fine with looking at it from afar. I don’t even know why I chose to stay put; maybe I had ignored/detested my chest for so long that I already knew what to expect and didn’t need to gawk at it close to the mirror. I’m not sure. All I knew is that I wanted the drains out and the quicker we could move along, the quicker it could happen.

And so it did.

Next thing I knew I was laying back in the chair and a few snips was all it took - Dr G of course explaining the process before he did it. There was only slight discomfort in the snips and he told me to breathe in. My brain automatically thinking it was going to be like a piercing and the action would be on the exhale. Haha, how wrong I was. As soon as I took in a breath, he pulled out the drain in a mere split second, telling me it was out. I was quite shocked at how quick and painless it was. There wasn’t even any feeling to it, honestly. The suture snipping being the worst. The other side was the same. Quick and painless, albeit slightly uncomfortable at most. I can’t remember if they put antibiotic ointment on them then or after the nipples, but they got ointment and a bandage before I left; that being the post op care for the drain holes once a day for the next week.

Then came the nipples. This was a little more odd, to say the least. Dr G snipped away at the sutures to remove the thick pads that squished my new nipples down and let me see. Because of the swelling and pull from the incisions, I couldn’t see much of my nipples. All I knew was that they weren’t the monstrosities that I had before. No matter how they looked now, I knew I’d prefer them over how they were. Still, it was baffling how they could reconstruct it all and I was already eager to see how they looked healed. Dumb me, though, wanted to watch him take care of the second nipple and I had to be told to put my head back down and chill. I was then told how to go through the post-op care with my nipples and they gave me the supplies before I headed off on my way.

I still had a mainly solo journey back home with flying but the worst was over with. The feeling of the polyester from my shirt on my naked back was truly unbelievable. I hadn’t felt it since trying out TransTape probably a year prior, if not longer. It was insane to me. And while I have to wear my bandage for another two weeks, it makes me look forward to feeling such again.