So I wasn't able to upload my video this week due to computer issues, but I feel like this week's Topic 1 is something that's really important that should be talked about, so I wanna touch on homophobia/biphobia/transphobia for a bit.
Firstoff, if you legitimately have a fear of gay/bi/trans*/etc people, I wanna take you out for coffee sometime. We're really not scary people. I think these phobias are all too often associated with the stereotypes of groups that tend to be perpetuated and frame us in a negative image. Gay men aren't going to prowl after straight men, bisexual people aren't all slutty, and transgender people don't wanna use the "opposite gender's" restroom so they can rape people. Those stereotypes are ridiculous, and if you sincerely believe them,  we should have our own talk.
Now, most people are not in fact afraid of LBGT individuals. They're afraid of what associating with said people will do to their image. I'm sure most of you heterosexuals out there have gay friends who, when you hang around them, people start to wonder if you're gay as well. The concept of homophobia in the way most people view it stems from being afraid of being perceived as gay rather than actually fearing gay people. Having said that, let's move on to a slightly different concept.
Most people confuse homophobia/biphobia/transphobia and heterosexism/monosexism (mono meaning attraction to one gender in this case)/cissexism. Most of you know what sexism is; the idea that one sex is greater than the other. Just add the prefixes and you get the idea. I definitely think these are much more of a problem than the phobias. I mean, yes, the phobias DO cause crazy and tragic things to happen, but on a day-to-day level, most people have more issues with hetero/mono/cissexism than the phobias.
NOW, on to the topic: Have I experienced the phobias? I'm going to expand on this and speak about the phobias and the isms, as I'm going to call them. I've identified as many things in my life. Orientation-wise I've identified as bisexual, lesbian, gay (I went through a "I hate the word lesbian" phase), pansexual, and homoerotic panromantic. The only experiences with homophobia I've had were both first semester last year. A girl who was rooming with a good friend of mine (also LBGT) all but threatened me because she was convinced that because my friend and I both liked women, that we were naturally hooking up. This was definitely NOT the case, but she sent me threatening messages and accused me of being a pedophile for being in a relationship with a girl who wasn't going to be turning 18 for two more months. Now, I don't need to tell any of you how serious of an accusation that is to make, but also take into consideration that I was also a music EDUCATION major at the time. That fear of being associated with lesbians could have jeopardized my career.
The other experience I had in dealing with homophobia is still continuing, and that is in relation to my mother. Her and I have always had a rocky relationship (she physically, emotionally, and psychologically abused me for years and I would call her on her bullsh!t often) but when I came out to her, she cut ties with me completely. When I asked my dad why she was doing this, he told me that she's afraid of what would happen if we tried to speak. In reality, she's afraid of what it will mean to acknowledge that she has an LBGT child.
Now, speaking on the topic of parents, we move to heterosexism. My father is an extremely heterosexist man. He's making bits of progress though. While he still thinks I'm sinning and that heterosexuality is superior to homosexuality and more favorable in God's eyes, he doesn't think that this is going to necessarily send me to hell. It's still extremely difficult for me to talk with him about anything involving my love life though.
The rest of this will be relatively short, because I'm only out as transgender to a small group of people (and tumblr) and haven't been out for a long time. For the most part, the news of my gender identity has been well-received, but there was one instance last April at a convention I went to that I'd label as ignorance more than anything else. At that point, I was identifying as genderqueer, because I knew I wasn't female, but wasn't sure if I was all the way male or not. I was in a workshop which involved different groups of people to take a step forward if they identified with the word on the notecard. During the exercise both "male" and "female" were read off. I didn't step forward for either, for obvious reasons, which I explained later when we were given the opportunity to explain why we did or didn't step forward at any point. After I said it, a voice from the back said "Come on. That's not even a thing." A man (who was later forced to leave the conference for racist remarks during a lecture on Sundown Towns) was trying to tell me to my face that I was not a thing, and I didn't belong. I don't think anything said to me by a stranger has ever hurt so badly, to be honest.
So there you have it, my opinions on the phobias, the isms, and my experiences with both. Hope y'all had a happy new year, thanks so much to Taylor for subbing last minute (also, CONGRATS BRO), and I'll see y'all next week :)
peacelovehappinessrainbowsunicornsDOUBLERAINBOW!!!!
