trans!kris affirming his gender by topping all the boys and making them cry on his dick ✨
(could i be 🐈⬛ anon if that's not taken :3)
Oops, this ended up being way softer than originally intended. I hope you still enjoy, 🐈⬛boo!
(nsfw and brief memories of SA and misgendering under the cut)
Kris isn't entirely sure when he lost his virginity. He's not sure which of his early sexual experiences actually counted as "sex". He'd masturbate as much as anyone else and loved the thrill of making out, but the boys he liked always ended up trying to put their hand up his shirt or down his pants despite him telling them not to. It ended in more than a few fights. But if he couldn't bring himself to let anyone touch him intimately, how was he ever going to enjoy sex?
Then he started messing around with Jan. And the same old fear crept up again, knowing he was about to ruin everything, knowing he was about to be touched unpleasantly and called a frigid bitch when he faught back.
But it didn't happen. He expressed his boundaries and was met with "no worries, dude. Do you just wanna do me?" And that lead to some experiences which Kris collectively considers his virginity loss - getting to feel and taste dick and ass for the first time, making someone come. It was also his first experience of bondage and powerplay, enjoying Jan's hands being tied so he couldn't possibly touch Kris anywhere he didn't want, but instead touching himself through his boxers or grinding himself against his Jan or until he came.
He didn't get into topping anyone with an actual artificial cock until Jure came into his life. "You can have them with a harness, or strapless ones that go inside you," Jure explained as they browsed the online stores in bed. "I don't want anything inside me." "Great, the harness can be any material or colour you want!" Kris didn't know there were so many options. He could make it truly his own, maybe even match some of his clothes. "Do want it to be realistic or not?" "Realistic I guess." "Are you sure? They make them in all kinds of awesome colours and shapes now! You could have a tentacle or a knot or a horse cock if you wanted." "How do you know all this?" "...just a connoisseur." The shopping was fun, but nothing could have prepared Kris for actually using it. Being able to penetrate someone with his own body (sort of) and using his hips to generate those noises from his partner. Watching Jure suck it and being able to feel every lick as though it was real. He ended up getting a few different strap-ons to suit their different moods.
Kris was with Nace when he started to medically transition. He hadn't really known what to expect and the process of acquiring testosterone was almost stressful enough that he wondered if it would be worth it at all. (Spoiler alert; it was.) Nace taught Kris how to shave when his facial hair started coming through and helped him voice train when his Adam's apple started to show. For the first time in his life, Kris started feeling good about his own body. His face shape changed and how he carried his body fat. His clothes began to fit him better and he even became comfortable with parts of his body that he used to hate. Nace helped him feel comfortable going out without a binder. "Sometimes you can see a man's tits through his shirt," Nace shrugged. "Do these look feminine to you?" Nace's chest was fleshy but also hairy and tattooed and masculine. If a man like Nace could comfortable about his body, so could a man like Kris. And then there was the bottom growth. Kris had never imagined he'd let anyone ever go down on him. But now he had an actual little dick that really got hard. So he let Nace suck it. "Don't finger me!" he warned. "Of course." It was the first time that Kris had felt so good in a long time, trusting someone with his body more than ever before. That first time was one of the most intense orgasms of his life. In thanks, he growled sweaty and trembling to Nace; "I'm gonna fuck you so hard."
Now, Kris and Bojan have found each other. Kris's subtle, fully-healed scars are covered by chest hair. He still occasionally wears stage gloves to cover the scar tissue on his forearm but usually doesn't even care. He passes so well that no one ever recognises it as a phaloplasty scar. Now, when he and his partner make love (or fuck rough on the living room floor or down drunken alleyways or at adult parties) its Kris's own real, hard cock inside Bojan and it feels so different. The skin-on-skin is so incredibly intimate. A part of him grieves for not having been able to do this his whole life but he's mostly just incredibly grateful that he can do this now. He can even come inside his boyfriend. Or on his face. Or down his throat. They have a lot of fun, making up for lost time. "If only it could get me pregnant," Bojan jokes tonight. "We could do something like that if you wanted," Kris tells him. "What do you mean?" "Do you not remember when I had my eggs frozen when I was 21?" "Not really." He guesses he didn't really talk about it at the time. It was a painful, difficult process. But one he's glad he went through, with hindsight. "We could have our own kids together if you wanted. Like, biologically our own." Bojan considers this for a moment. And kisses him.
