#toni.

Elias: I realize how late it is

Elias: Casey's gone into labour

Elias: I'll keep you updated, but its Mount Sinai-St Lukes.

Elias wishes it were easier to ignore Toni Sullivan. Instead, it seems like fate—(or something like it)—means to push them together: first, side-by-side at the lake; and now, when they share a major and far too many classes, it feels like Toni’s always at the corner of his eye. As far as Elias is concerned, though, they have nothing in common. If they had, some reason why they were both chosen that night, it hardly matters anymore. They’re different now; or, at least, Elias is, no longer the timid thing he was when he came to Augustine, when he didn’t know who to be or where he fit in. 

But he knows now, and he’s unafraid to be vicious with it. To do what he’s bid without question, and sometimes with something like relish. 

                                 “Of course I do— probably just not in the way you mean. Toni is family, and I’ll always keep hoping she comes back home to Lanford someday. The most important thing is that she’s happy though, no matter where she is.”

i do like toni, we get along. and she seems to have a lot on her plate, and i hoped i helped her a little bit by talking things through. 

and i feel so bad for alessia, cause she really cares about colby, and it’s not right. none of it really is. i wish i could help. she turns down most of my offers. i wish i was a person again earlier this week, maybe i could have done more. it sucks to be useless to friends. 

then again, i don’t think i would have talked to anyone today if i hadn’t been saved. none of them know the extent... alessia knows my injuries, roughly, but she doesn’t know the misery i put myself through. daisy saved me, it’s the only way i can describe it. fuck, i cried in front of her. i never cried for anything outside of happiness in front of elvira. i don’t think i even let anyone see me cry at my mother’s funeral. the only time i cry in front of people is if a movie is emotional, or it’s a happy occasion. but this was different. i was--am broken. and she dealt with me.