#tomyfuturehusband

Hey babe,

It’s official. I have moved back to Lexington. I am so ready for you, but at the same time, I am getting over someone as well. I need some time because I do miss him, and it wouldn’t be fair to you for us to start now.

You’re in my near future though, I can feel it. Maybe I’ll meet you at Thursday Night Live when I have had a few drinks. Or maybe I’ll meet you on Hinge. Maybe I’ll meet you at LEF when I’m climbing and struggling with a certain set.

Know that I do need some time, but by giving me time, it’ll only make our relationship stronger when we do meet.

I love you more than anything,

16th of April 2016

Good morning, love! Or good afternoon or good night, I wouldn’t know. It’s been months since I last wrote to you and there must have been a couple of times where I felt like I wanted to talk to someone and I forgot about writing to you, but here I am now. This morning I woke up and I read my last letters to you and I wondered again. Have I met you yet? I’m dying to know. Perhaps not but I kinda wish I already met you. I was happy a few nights ago, there’s this guy that I like at the moment who just happened to talk to me ‘til 1:30 AM and we talked about meaningful stuff. Could it be you? This guy that I’m talking about, we met on my first year of high school. He’s absolutely nice, tall, tan, and handsome. But what I like most about him is how he’s so open to me compared to others and how he trusts me so much, even after I’ve let him down a few times. I really like him and I guess you can say I’m kinda serious about how I feel for him at the moment. I still wonder if there’s even a slight possibility that it’s you. I doubt that though, I’m pretty sure he likes someone else. I’m pretty sure he only sees me as a friend. I’m sorry if it isn’t you, I hope you don’t get jealous or mad because I know that you might like someone else and not me at the moment, too. However I still wonder if I’m even writing to someone out there or am I just writing to someone who doesn’t really exist… Don’t worry though, even with all these doubts in my mind, I’m still holding out for you and I’m still waiting for the day when I realise who you are and how much you mean to me. At the moment, I may like someone else but in the future I promise that when I start loving you and I realise you’re the one for me, there’d be no one else that I’d rather spend my whole life with than you.

I had a dream last night that you were with me and it all made sense.

Funny dream, don’t you think?

Maybe soon.

Maybe not.

I miss you. Oh, I miss you. You know, they all say it’s about the journey, and not the destination. They tell me to stop looking for the destination, they act like I think you’re the destination.

They don’t know that we’re going to be the journey. But it’s our secret, so I’ll keep looking out for you.

Oh, I miss you. Get here soon. Knowing you is the highlight of my life.

In a dream of mine, your eyes dance at me. You hold my face and tell me you love me. You mean it.

In another, I send you pictures of the snow and we laugh over the phone about old jokes. “Come home soon,” I say. “Your voice is my home.” “Two poets, married. Imagine that.” I can almost feel you beside me in bed.

In still another, you lean over to kiss my head and swollen belly, then you return to reading your book. The fireplace warms our feet as we play footsie under the blanket. I think to you in my head, “what a wonderful time it will be, making a family with you.”