#togodbethehighestglory

"I just want to take this time, mailabas ko lang. Hindi ko naman pinagmamalaki, pero for the very first time in my life, ngayon ko lang nagawa lahat ng sobrang effort na to. Na halos buong araw nalang wala akong pinalagpas na hindi mag review para sa board exam. Gusto ko ng assurance na makakapasa na talaga, but one thing I pray is hindi lang makapasa kundi mag TOP pa. I don’t know if I am already doing my best since then, that is the one thing I am not sure of, gusto kong laging mag consult kay Lord because I know He is the One Who led me in this career I am pursuing. So many times I tried to encourage myself na kaya ko, na gagawin ko yung best ko, but so many times din na sobrang na didissapoint ako sarili ko dahil sa mga limitations ko. I know I’m not that smart like the others, I accept the fact na natural nang maging mas mataas yung result ng performance nila saakin, basta I know in my my self that I am TRYING...I’m not just faithful but also doing something kasi yun ang word ni Lord saakin “Faith without action is dead”. So many disappointments in spite of effort and time that I spent in reviewing. Isa pa sa dilema ko, pansamantalang sinet aside ko muna ang ministry (isang parte sa buhay ko na tinawag ako ng Lord) at first, sobrang nagdadalawang isip ako kung bibitawan ko muna ba, I don’t know if it is part of His plan, and sa dumating yung point na yun na nga. Kailangan eh, yung tipong nasa review ka pero theres a part in your heart na asikasuhin padin ang KKB, nakakamiss, nakakalungkot na nga nakakaiyak pa, pano ba naman kasi pag makikita nila ko minsan nalang tas sasabihin ng iba na namimiss na nila ko, akala ata nila... bat ako hindi ba?! Haha. Kaso ang mas nakakapressure din is alam ng lahat. I know most of them will share their happiness KAPAG NAKAPASA NA KO. Haay... (ang saya non noh?)

Gusto kong makapasa para makabawi kay Mamhe, I know how much she wants me to pass, alam ko sya yung pinaka gustong makapasa ko. She deserves to have me in oath taking, kung yun na nga talaga... kung kaya ko na nga ba... kung iaallow ako ni Lord na makapasa, AT MAG TOP pa, I know that will be the greatest gift I will receive from the Lord for fulfilling this course, and the greatest gift I’m going to give to my whole family (ang napaka supportive kong family) I know it’s not too late to lift up this prayers to You. Simula pa naman po nung una, You're never too late nor too early because You always have Your PERFECT TIMING. Hindi man po mawawala ang kaba, at mga pagkakataon na mahihirapan ako, but ONE THING that will make me STILL is the LORD’s promise for me. Ang dami daming pumapasok sa isip kong mga negative pero lagi akong sinosoplak ni Lord, hehe. He never fails to give me courage when I feel so discouraged, He always builds me up when I feel down, He never let go of me for those nights that I am crying in prayer, and the sweetest thing is the Lord never get tired of reminding me that WE will do this together. 

I pray now, not for any request about passing or putting my name in the TOP 10, but I pray now na Lord iready Nyo po ang puso ko na buong tanggapin ano man ang will Nyo dito sa moment ng buhay ko na to. Lord, that’s my desire, to pass and to be on TOP, but ALL I WANT to have is what You desire for me to have. Your will and not my will be done. Amen."