#toadbae asks

Hiii bae the ask was about who finishes first.

1. Hyrule. No, really. That boy is so busy he has mastered the Utility Tug.

2. Sky, with a catch. He’d be third on the list but if Sun’s involved, well, he’s a good boy who does anything she says WHEN she says it.

3. Wind, because he’s the youngest with the most tumultuous hormones.

4. Four. It’s like a quick’n done maintenance thing for him, like washing your hair.

5. Legend. Traveling taught him the importance of being quick and discreet, but now that he’s an Indoor Link he’s getting comfortable with it.

5. Twilight can’t help but wrestle with some shame about the act every fucking time

6. Time is a bit out of practice, considering his lifestyle, so it takes a bit longer while he convinces himself to not phone a friend

7. Wild would be faster if he didn’t get so distracted by all the ads on his naughty vids

Wild baking cat biscuits for Twi to feed

All fun and games until Wild has over two dozen cans of tuna, chicken, and salmon piled up in the recycling bin and stinking up the kitchen. But the kitties LOVEEE them and it makes Twi so happy that he offers for Wild to come to Dark’s apartment and make them there.

Legend - Is too careful about his things to ever suffer a cracked screen. When you go through a period of having so little in your life and come into a time when you can afford to have a nice phone? You take care of that shit.

Four - A cracked phone screen is enrichment for his enclosure. Four goes to the electronics store to get the gear he needs and replaces that shit same day. He probably also deep-cleans his phone at the same time (those videos are honestly very relaxing to watch). He starts stockpiling spare screens to help replace for the others too, for a reasonable fee of course.

Wind - IMMEDIATELY goes to Four. The Adderall exchange between them is so fluid that little favors get done for Wind well before they get done for the rest of the house.

Time - The man CANNOT abide by a cracked phone screen. He might not replace it as immediately as Four does, but he'll do it within the next 36 hours minimum. He has the most jacked phone case in the entire house, otterbox-style, as well as an old man holster clip on his belt for it. But his work gets pretty rough, so he's lost at least one phone screen along the way.

Warriors - He curses when he drops it. He bemoans the crack, obsesses over it for a little while, shows everyone in the house one at a time and has to regale them with the tale of how it happened--with more and more embellishment each time. He spends three days debating whether to fix it or just buy himself a new phone. Ends up buying a new phone. It's just easier.

Twilight - He's a bit clumsy sometimes, and yes his phone suffers the effects of it. It's been dropped, stepped on, shoved off of the nightstand when trying to silence the alarm, lost in Dark's couch cushions for the better part of a weekend. If the crack is small enough or off-to-the-side enough he's not going to rush to replace anything, not until it interferes with his ability to use the thing.

Sky - He'll get an awful spidered crack right in the middle of his screen and not do shit about it for MONTHS. He'll suffer glass in his thumb and whine about it a bit, but our mans is just lazy. It's not until Warriors sees him struggling to text for the umpteenth time and berates him openly in the house that Sky will deign to be dragged to the mall to get something done about it. Fine, he'll do it, but he's also getting a soft pretzel about it.

Wild - Surprisingly it's not his phone screen that's cracked. It's the phone case itself, which he has "repaired" with sparkly stickers that have been on there so long the sparkles themselves appear faded.

Hyrule - This boy ain't got time to replace that shit. He will live with a cracked phone screen for months until someone else intervenes and takes his phone to the mall or to the garage for him.

In a BUICK. Honestly in 40 years that man is probably mostly seen in his favorite recliner wearing a cardigan sweater and a t-shirt underneath that reads "I Yearn for the Urn."

Sky and Sun

Sky is the first in the household to get married. He doesn't tell his friends before popping the proverbial question, to which they're furious and immediately take him out for an impromptu bachelor party. Nor does he tell his landlord, who also just so happens to be the Appointed Knight that needs to assign an entire protection detail to Princess Solara's new consort, to which he is annoyed.

Forty years on, Sky is happily a grandfather. He still flies recreationally, still naps recreationally as well, and is Sun's salt-and-pepper side piece at all the formal events she needs to attend.

Legend and Hyrule

These two are the epitome of the "Bonded Pair, Do Not Separate" meme. In forty years, they share a small house in a nicer part of Castle Town. Legend has been a house-husband for a long while now, and Hyrule is starting to spend more and more time at home rather than slaving away at the hospital. Their outdoor garden has a small collection of fruit trees and Legend has a quiet feud with their neighbor, Magda, over their unspoken horticultural competition.

Twilight and Champion

Not officially married, these two were some of the last to move out of the townhouse and in to their own place together. It's far outside the city, some place with rolling hills and ample yard so Twi can have a few pasture pets. I can see them starting some little farm rescue, honestly, as taking care of the animals helps Champion immensely. Malon visits once a weekend for brunch. And we can't forget Colin, who has his own little "apartment" in the house and is welcome any time he wants for as long as he likes.

Warriors and Paya

Two words: lavender marriage. Wars never leaves the townhouse, actually, no matter the AU. It's one part stubbornness, one part comfort, and one part "Well someone needs to make sure the old man doesn't descend into madness or, worse yet, bland decor." Paya still lives next door, and she gets roped in to War's life as the other townhouse residents trickle away. Warriors would never admit it, but he's lonely without the others. Paya would never admit it, but she does kind of live for the hot goss. They go out to dinner together every other week, and Paya is a frequent guest at the house for dinner or late night porch drinks or even just hanging out and watching TV.

Wind and Tetra

Yes, really. The two of them developed a fast-friends relationship and bonded over similar interests in video games, and she's really the only person who will put up with his shit. Knowing Tetra, she probably wanted something small and not-a-big-deal, but her sisters would have put on a proper royal wedding for them, much to their chagrin.

Yes, this means that Sky and Wind are technically brothers-in-law at some point. Yes, this is Bad News, as Wind will definitely bring out Sky's latent 'little shit' instincts.

Four and Shadow

We all know that Warriors is the Actual chess player in the home. Strategy games in general are his preference, and he's nearly unbeatable. But all of the Links come with a natural competitive streak. So which of the boys resort to more nefarious methods of play in order to gain the upper hand?

Fuck/Marry/Kill, HSH style

Hello bae, this one has been sitting in the askbox for a while!

Lullaby - The queen regnant has no significant other and no public love life to speak of. She has her hands full ruling a modern kingdom and maintaining peace as much as she can. Rumors abound surrounding her and Time having involvement, and maybe once in their past they had a fling that neither would admit to. We were all young once.

Dusk - The austere second-in-command of the matriarchy has entertained very few suitors over the years, and the gossip rags will claim that she's too cold to maintain a meaningful relationship. Truth be told, Dusk has been seeing Midna in secret for a long, long time now. What started as close friendship in adolescence has blossomed into true love.

Sun - Need we even ask? She met Sky during Royal Guard training and hasn't looked back. He's the whole package: sweet, funny, handsome, and a 'safe' guy who would never try to abuse her power or take it from her. They're going to have so many kids.

Tetra - There's nothing serious going on in Tetra's love life right now. She's much too busy inventing new ways to screw around and piss off her sisters in the process, especially when it comes to creating "anonymous" social media and streaming accounts. She may or may not have become acquainted with another Link that we know through this venue.