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I am so tired. I am so tired. I just need to talk to someone about how terrified and scared and sad and lonely and tried I am. Please. Can I just tell someone how horrible I am feeling? Can I just stop feeling like it is a lost war to tell someone how I feel? I just want someone.
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It's kind of unfathomable how much I *need* to write vs. how much readers *need* to read. Which is to say it's like I have a whole pile of rocks which all took a lot of work to gather and find, but the only thing impressive about them is the 5 ounces of gold hidden within them and if I don't get that gold out and toss the rocks, all the hard work is underwhelming and more akin to like a kid finding a sparkly rock in a yard like oh cool!! It's so pretty and im so glad it sparks your imagination! Only you care about it tho. Doesn't matter how much you know the gold is in there, no one spares a second glance until you refine that rock and toss everything but the gold.
the fact that Sanji has probably never been in love before.
Sanji loves a lot, surely, but beyond the rose tinted glasses of romanticism, has he ever genuinely loved a woman for the person she is rather than her gender that earns her his respect, attention and admiration?
I read people saying how his lovey-dovey reactions are not genuine since he forced himself to do so in WCI with Pudding, an argument which I have to disagree with completely. Sanji was miserable in that arc and he forced himself to be his usual self because the circumstances were desperate and he had lost everything but his future wife whom he would never want to upset. Sanji is usually pretty genuine and the only times I think he’s not is when he’s just being like ‘oh I care for the ladies only’ or ‘oh you guys get the leftovers’ which is obvious that these statements are not really the case.
Anyway, back to the love thing, I also read that Sanji did not like Pudding because he initially didn’t simp for her. I still have to disagree with this one for the same reason mentioned above: Sanji wasn’t having it in WCI and certainly one who feels that sad cannot switch to his usual ❤️w❤️ mode, THATS why I think he’s 100% genuine, so much so that even when he isn’t, we as the audience can read between the lines and understand that. It was refreshing seeing him interact somewhat normally with a woman and I think by the end of WCI, if Sanji got to know Pudding more, I’m certain he would have fallen in love with her.
“The sands of time I give you flow between your fingers to your feet.
I give you more. Now you have a beach.
And I have now,
No time for me.”
I just had to do something that made me so upset. Oh my god it’s just playin over and over in my head ugh. Fuck…..
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girl help
I’m tired of being in pain. Why do I always seem to attract people that wanna just hurt me repeatedly? I’m so kind. I just want happiness. I don’t understand why I can’t have it. I get so close each time, and then is like what I’m reaching for, my hand goes straight through like a projection. Something intangible resembling something real
