How do you get to JFK?
My take on how this airport scene is going to go. Read on AO3.
As her parents bicker about their delayed flight ahead of her, she feels her eyes being drawn to the rapid movement of a crumpled black suit moving briskly through the crowd below the walkway. Midge falls behind as she follows the figure trying to get a better look, It can’t be. It’s been a month since she last saw him, since he had yelled at her about tanking her career. Though it was a thoroughly embarrassing dressing down, she can now admit she needed it.
The sight of his teary eyes as he told her that she would break his fucking heart had lit a fire within her and she had been working and hustling like a madman ever since. She’d still been working at the Wolford; it was a stage where she was free to speak her truth and people came to see her, but she was also paying her dues like every other comic trying to make it. Working shitty gigs surrounded by male comics and asshole bookers who just didn’t get it. And by some mad stroke of luck of Ford himself seeing her act at the Wolford and Susie’s hard work, she was joining the writing team at the Gordon Ford show come next week. Without his kick up the ass she wouldn’t have this, she’d still be hiding. The problem was that he had disappeared after Carnegie so she couldn’t even thank him. She’d heard no word of gigs, or tv appearances, he wasn’t even in the press all that much, besides the reviews of the Carnegie performance and a couple mentions of arrests. She had hoped that he would have sought her out by now, maybe even called asking for her to bail him out - and god did it hurt that he hadn’t.
Fate however, as it is wont to do when it concerns them, deemed it necessary to intervene because how else do you explain both she and Lenny being at JFK on the same day at the same time? She reckons it’s her turn for a sneak attack, she can’t let this opportunity pass her by not knowing when she’ll catch him next. “Hey I’ll catch up with you at the gate, I’m going to go ask the information desk for an update on our flight.” She calls to her parents, turning on her heel and heading towards the stairs after him. God, why does he always walk so fast? She's talented in heels but even she has her limits. She sees him head for the tunnel and decides to try and cut him off by entering from the side nearer to her. When she gets there she looks to the right, spotting him emerging into the corridor. He looks a bit out of it, dark bags under his eyes, his suit wrinkled like he slept in it. She notices he’s wearing the same tie as he did in Miami. Does he only own like three ties? One of them is still at her apartment so maybe two now.
“We’ve got to stop meeting like this” she calls out and watches in amusement as his head whips round to find her and his eyes blow wide a little at the unexpected sight of her.
“The universe seems to keep throwing us together. Guess that’s what happens when you don’t call..” she trails off a little accusatory as she walks up slowly to him. She stops a few feet away, suddenly unsure of an appropriate distance.
“Midge? What are you doing here?”
“Headed to a funeral in Oklahoma with my parents.” Waving her hand as she speaks
“Oh shit, I’m sorry”, tilting his head in concern.
“It’s okay, thank you, it's a distant family on my mothers side.”
He nods at that. “Oh Hey congratulations on booking the Ford gig by the way, you’ll be running the place in no time” he says, so surely that even she believes it a little. “Hell, play your cards right, you might even become his in-house comic.” Wagging his finger at her with a smirk.
“Yeah maybe” she smiles, feeling suddenly shy under his praise.“It feels good to be working again. Plus it comes with the added bonus of not breaking your heart.”
He smirks up at that and tilts his head slightly, in a way that is so Lenny, “Ah yes thank you for that. Us Jewish men don’t have the best track record when it comes to heart conditions so we need all the help we can get.”
She lets out a chuckle, before getting serious, “Really Lenny, thank you for what you said at Carnegie. You were right, I was hiding, I was afraid of getting burned again. I’m sorry that I turned down the Bennett gig, and I’m sorry for any damage it caused on your end sticking your neck out for me like that. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking.” She can feel herself starting to ramble but she needs to get this out “I wasn’t thinking, that’s the truth of it. I thought I had missed my shot with getting kicked off Shy's tour and I just wanted a steady gig, one that paid, one I didn’t have to censor myself for. I thought I was being smart, protecting myself, but you were right. I was giving up. I could no longer see myself making it big anymore, I thought, this is all I get” gesturing her hands to the side and letting them fall to her side.
Lenny pauses, and smirks, “And now?”
She smiles at him softly “Now I can see it again, the vision I had when I started this mad career choice. I can see myself headlining the Copa, wearing a beaded white cocktail dress. I can see me on the stage of Carnegie, pink dress this time.”
Lenny snorts at her inclusion of what she’s wearing in her fantasies.
“You’ll get there Midge, you’re destined for it, you’re just too damn good, sometimes I forget that you’ve only been at this for a couple years.”
Midge feels herself tearing up a little at his words
“I’m sorry I yelled by the way, got a little carried away.” he adds.
Midge shifts awkwardly, unsure of what to say to that. Their silence is broken by the laughter of a passing couple, as the voice over the tannoy announces the next flight to board.
“So, you heading out of town for some gigs?” Taking note of the bag clutched under his arm.
Lenny scratches his ear a little nervously, a look she hasn’t seen on him before “Er I’m actually moving out of town for a little while, to LA.”
“Oh-” she breathes, a silence passing between them as she lets the news sink in, her brow scrunching in confusion. “How long will you be gone?”
“I’m not sure” Lenny admits, almost sheepishly. Another drawn out silence passes between them.
“Wait so you were just going to leave without saying goodbye?” That comes out shakier then she intended.
“Midge-”
“You could have called for Christ’s sake”
He doesn’t have an answer to that.
“So that’s it? That's all we get? One incredible night and a fight on the stage of Carnegie Hall?”
Midge feels like the ground is opening up beneath her, “Tell me, have I been reading things wrong?” Gesturing her hand between them. Lenny takes a step towards her, shaking his head. “This feels like the goddamn Sadie Hawkins dance all over again.” She mutters, more to herself than him.
She looks back up at him, stepping into his space “That night we shared felt like it was a long time coming. It felt like it might have been the start of something. Was I wrong?” her voice rising.
Fuck why are her eyes welling again, she doesn’t want to cry in front of him.
“Hell, maybe I should have realised I was reading into things when you didn’t contact me for a month, Christ I’m an idiot.”
“You’re not an idiot midge-” to his credit he looks just as pained as she feels.
“Tell me something, what was that night to you? Because all the flirting, the favours, the sneak attacks - fuck Lenny was that all just in effort to fucking sleep with me?!”
“Jesus Christ, of course not Midge!” He says, stepping away gesturing a little wildly. A passing mother shields her child's ears, ushering them through the tunnel quickly. “I was telling the truth - I did not plan that night. I didn’t expect it either.”
“So what, it was just a spur of the moment kind of thing to you?”
“No midge. It was-” he exhales, deflated, and looks skyward ‘fuck, I mean - Midge it was more than I could have ever dreamt.”
She stops at that, her eyes locking onto his.
“Look, I didn’t dare to hope I got more than just that one night with you.”
“Why the hell would you think that?”
“Because I’m a fucking mess Midge, it would never work out between us. I can’t give you what you deserve and I would only end up hurting you.”
She scoffs at his reply, crossing her arms, “And you get to decide that all on your own and leave me high and dry. Fucking hell Lenny I thought we were friends. First and foremost. I felt like I finally got onto the same page with you and now you’re fucking off to LA?”
He stops at this, tears in his eyes.
“I’m sorry Midge. I just - I can’t be here anymore. My kid is in LA, the state of New York is gunning for me, the arrests are getting more serious and frequent, and - to be honest - nothing good can come of you being seen with me.”
“You saw what was in the bag Midge” he adds quieter sounding ashamed and not meeting her eyes.
Midge is at a loss of what to say, her mouth opening and closing multiple times trying to reply - she feels the fight leave her.
“Please don’t leave Lenny.” She says in a quiet and teary voice, “What am I supposed to do without you? You’re my only friend in this goddamn industry. Who’s going to bring their umbrella to my shows? Who’s going to be there to pull my head out of my ass?”
He gives her a sad smile.
“You don’t need me, Midge. You never did.”
She feels a tear escape and roll down her cheek as he turns to leave.
“Knock ‘em dead” he adds before he heads out through the tunnel towards his gate.
___________________________________
He’s a goddamn coward is all he can think as he joins the line to board his flight.
He turns when he hears his name shouted from behind him, suddenly a blurry pink figure is rushing towards him. He drops his suitcase and coat on instinct as Midge launches herself at him and kisses him. Lenny’s arms wrap around her instantly gathering her close, unable to resist as she devours him. It’s a kiss that verges on indecent especially given they are surrounded by people waiting to board the plane. She pulls back for a moment, their foreheads pressed together.
“I may not need you, but I want you Lenny Bruce”
She kisses him again softer this time drawing out the taste - it feels like goodbye.
She takes his hand and places a crumpled piece of paper into it
“For when you’re ready” as she closes his fingers over it.
She kisses him once more briefly then parting, missing her soft lips already “Look after yourself Lenny” she whispers and with that she turns and walks away not looking back. He finds himself stuck, feet routed to the floor as he watches her leave. He unfolds the note she handed him revealing her address and phone number along with a note scrawled in a rush:
Someday we’ll stop walking away from one another.
He feels the tears build in his eyes as he watches her disappear into the crowd and he tucks the note into his pocket turning to board the plane. Someday he thinks to himself. Someday.
