#tl99

Souta Gozu

“Tao, what’s up? Are you okay?”

The trio of high schoolers that had passed by had already disappeared into the crowd.

I hadn’t realized that I was clenching my fists tightly and my nails were digging into my skin.

The person standing next to me was neither Goz nor Taiki. It was Chihiro.

Chihiro Natsuyaki.

My new… probably best friend? In this era I’d been thrown into.

“... Hey, Chihiro.”

I thought that maybe it’s time to bring into the light the things I’ve been avoiding and trying not to think about.

So, I spoke up.

“There’s a place I want you to come with me to.”

“... There it is.”

I had Chihiro follow me to a large library. 

Here, you can view information about almost every past incident.

It’s been three years since I got into this era. At first, I was just doing my best to survive and didn’t have time to process what had happened to me.

In the depths of my heart, I was filled with resentment, bitterness, and anger towards my parents to the point that I was cursing their existence, but I was also tormented by a violent emptiness.

But after three years here, those exhausting feelings have all worn away.

I was put in prison, and somehow ended up becoming an idol. 

It was only after I had a roof over my head and a stable income that I had finally stopped to think that I needed to know what happened in the era I used to belong to.

If I were to be honest, I was always curious.

But I didn’t have the courage to face it.

No matter what I do, it’s all in the past from the perspective of this era.

No matter how much I regret it, I can’t do anything about it.

What if, after I never returned home, my little brother Taiki suffered through a difficult life and died?

And what about Goz?

What if, because I never apologized, Goz was left with regrets…?

How would I recover from that?

But I felt that putting it off any longer would be wrong.

I thought it’d be a good opportunity to face my past now that I have some sudden free time.

With Chihiro’s help, I searched through the library’s old data.

I started by narrowing down my search to 1999.

And what I found was an article about an incident involving the church my parents belonged to.

— “Executives of religious organization “Lumière de Cosmos” arrested under suspicions of murdering their own child”.

I gasped at the headline of one of the newspapers, and Chihiro who was sitting next to me, looked at me anxiously.

“Tao, you okay…? Can you read it? Do you want me to read it for you?”

“... No, I’m alright. I can read it myself.”

I swallowed my nerves and continued reading.

The child mentioned here is me, I think.

And the executives… Is that was my parents were?

As I dug through the newspapers of the time, I found more and more details of the incident.

… The two cult executives are being accused of killing their eldest son (high school student, 17), in a park near their home, and then abandoning the body.

The body is still being accounted for, but the circumstantial evidence is enough to bring charges to the pair—

…  The first person to accuse the pair was their youngest son (12). According to his testimony…

“Taiki… You were the one who accused them?”

I ended up whispering to myself.

Just how much courage did that take out of my brother, who was so young at the time?

This incident eventually led to police raids uncovering various fraudulent activities, and the cult was dismantled.

That happened in 2000.

The organization that had tormented me and Taiki for over a dozen years had collapsed and become a thing of the past in just a year.

But what kickstarted everything was Taiki’s accusation.

… He said he would expose everything the cult had done, and he did it.

If Taiki was here, I would say that to him.

I’m not sure if it would be okay to praise him, or be genuinely happy for him.

I imagine Taiki had to make huge sacrifices in order to speak up. At the very least, he had to have completely cut off ties with our parents.

I seriously regret not being able to be by his side at a time like that.

“... Tao, you okay?”

Chihiro asked softly.

I silently nodded my head and, with new-found determination, looked up my little brother’s name.

My heart was beating so hard I thought it would burst out of my chest.

The seconds it took for the search results to show up felt like an hour, two hours, even.

But the search… resulted in nothing.

Obviously, at the time of my murder and the cult’s dismantlement, Taiki was a minor, so his name was never made public. Therefore, none of the articles came up I had just read, and no articles past that time came up, either.

That meant… I didn’t even know if he was still alive or not.

“Obituaries… don’t always show up, do they?”

“... I’ve heard that if the person themself or their family has approved for their data to be viewed, it’d at least show whether they’ve passed away or not.”

Chihiro explained with a rather unsure look on his face. 

Then, he leaned a little forward and looked into my eyes.

“He’s alive… I’m sure! Let’s try finding him in some other way. I’ll help, too!”

And then, Chihiro continued:

“If you become a famous idol, your little brother will surely find out! Let’s become famous to the point we appear on national TV every day! I will definitely, absolutely, bring you in front of the cameras, Tao!”

“S-Sure… You kinda sound like a pitcher promising to take me to the Nationals...”

I felt a little comforted by Chihiro’s positive attitude that reminded me of a manga I read long ago.

… Right.

There’s no point in worrying about things I can’t figure out. For now, I know that Taiki accused my parents and that the cult has disappeared.

I’ll try to figure out what happened in Taiki’s life after that.

That’s what I’ve decided in the depths of my heart.

If I become a famous idol, maybe Taiki will find me. I decided to wager on that possibility.

“... Is there anything else you wanna look into?”

Chihiro, who had raised his voice earlier, asked me softly. He looks at me with concern in his eyes.

His kindness is a different kind from Goz’s, I think.

“... Anything else…”

There is one more thing.

I mustered up the courage to place my fingers on the keyboard and type the name in.

The search came back with one result.

— “Souta Gozu: Confirmed dead…”

I closed the computer before I could read the entire headline.

For a moment, all was silent.

Then, I felt like I was punched in the gut.

— Souta Gozu: Confirmed dead

I shivered, I couldn’t feel my fingers.

“... Tao.”

Chihiro’s voice sounded concerned.

I felt as though if I looked at him, I would start crying.

“Oh, yeah. I promised I’d help out at Natsume-san’s shop for a while today.”

As if he could understand how I felt, Chihiro didn’t say anything.

“Sorry, Chihiro, can we go out for lunch next time?”

“Yups, got it. Don’t worry about it~ I’ll go eat at a DZ spot~.” Chihiro said cheerfully, and I took advantage of his reply.

I’m sorry, Chihiro. But I just can’t think of anything else.

The only thing in my head were the words “Souta Gozu. Confirmed dead.”, replaying over and over.

By the time I got out of the library, night had fallen.

… There’s no way it’d just be someone else with the same first and last name. It’s such a rare name.

I thought as I absent-mindedly polished a glass at Ten Nights’ Dreams.

— Goz is dead, isn’t he?

When did he die? How did he die? What kind of life did he live? What was Goz thinking as he was left waiting at our meeting place on the day I disappeared?

I had no way of knowing now.

My hands stopped moving. 

No, I have to do my job properly. I thought and quickly picked up the glass again and right then, Natsume-san, the owner, said, “You can leave now.”

“The bartender will be here soon. … Nice, it’s well polished. It’s as beautiful as your heart, Tao.”

“Ahaha… No, I’m just some guy.”

Natsume-san is a generous person, even if I don’t help much, he gives me a part-timer’s pay.

I thought that was bad at first, but I don’t really have a job other than being a Ward Mayor, so I was seriously grateful for this opportunity.

When I changed out of the waiter uniform and stepped outside, I felt a chilly wind.

At night, in this city where neon nights are twinkling, people’s laughter can be heard like distant ripples.

— Goz… If you were still alive…

I wonder if we’d be drinking together?

The thought passed by my mind, even though there’s no point in wondering.

I still can’t process anything.

Not Goz’s death, or my parents’ fate, or anything Taiki did.

I’m glad that I got to find out what happened back then, and that I was able to face it. But at the same time, I don’t know what I should do from now on.

In any case, I have to live in the present of this era.

… I understand that, but the shock of Goz’s death is a feeling I have yet to digest.

“Tao-kun!”

Someone called out to me and I turned around. 

It was the bartender, Yunyun-san, running toward me from the bar’s entrance.

“Um, did I forget something?” I asked.

“No, there was something I kept thinking to ask you, and then I saw you here,” Yunyun-san replied laughing, and then stopped in front of me.

He pretty much glared at me, and then whispered:

“Tao-kun, is there a place you want to go back to?”

All I could mutter in response to that question was, “What…”

What do you mean? Go back to, where, exactly? … When exactly?

When I looked up at him, Yunyun-san was smiling brightly.

“Just what I expected from a 20-year-old! Such an honest reaction! That’s exactly what I wanted to see. See ya later, good work today~”

Was that a joke? Or some kind of prank or experiment? I had no idea what Yunyun-san had tried to do.

I felt a tap on my shoulder, and next thing I knew, I was standing alone on the street.

As I started feeling better, I thought I’d apologize to Chihiro when I returned to the dorm.

I don’t want to have to repeat what happened with Goz.

I’ll tell Chihiro, “I’m sorry we couldn’t eat together. Let’s go tomorrow.”

— I have to live life in this era to the fullest, was the thought that came to me.

If I could go back in time, to that last night of June 1999…

I would shake off my parents’ hands and grab Taiki’s. We would run out of the house and go to the park, where Goz would be waiting. And then the three of us would jump.

We would run, and run, and run from the Great King of Terror’s prophecy… And then, I would return to my ordinary daily life.

To those days… with Goz, Kinari and Taiki.

There was no point in thinking about it.

But I still couldn’t shake off this impossible dream of mine.

— I’ll search for Taiki.

I swore to myself.

I’ll search for him. To give back for everything I couldn’t do for him.

To connect the days I spent in the past with the days I’m spending here.

What can I do in order to achieve that?

I slipped through the crowd of the downtown area and found myself in the residential area where the stars are still visible.

There’s no one on board behind me urging me to pedal harder anymore, but still…

Look ahead and keep going, Tao.

I felt like I could hear a voice telling me that from somewhere.

I continued taking one heavy step at a time.

NOTES: (1) Lumière de Cosmos: originally 宇宙(ソラ)ノ光, French-fied to look as culty as possible (2) DZ spot: Basically a photo op spot / spot to take pictures, irl it's called an instagrammable/IG spot, but it's been changed to DZ spot to fit 18trip's dazzle

Tuesday, June 29, 1999 / 1

It was supposed to be a regular evening, a regular live show, but it all changed with the deafening sound of a patrol car’s siren.

“Today was a disaster~ I came here to have fun at Ev3ns’s live…”

“It’s a good thing no one was hurt, though. Be careful on the way home, okay?”

When I said that, the fan teared up for some reason.

“TaoTao is so kind… I’ll absolutely come tomorrow too!” They proclaimed before leaving.

The two cars that had crashed in front of Yokohama Station were still on the road, and police were questioning the drivers.

One of the vehicles was self-driving, and the other was manual. It appears the manual car had crashed into the self-driving one.

It really was a good thing no one was hurt, but obviously we Ev3ns who had received permission to perform a guerilla live in front the station today, couldn’t go through with it. We apologized to the fans who had come and asked them to go back home.

“Alright, you lot hurry and start gathering your things, too. Once all the guests have left, you’re free to do as you please, so just change your clothes and move on. If we stay here, people will start gathering, and it’ll cause trouble.” Our manager Nayuki-san said promptly.

After the last guest left, I started thinking about what to do with my sudden free time when Chihiro came up to me from behind and said with a grin, “Tao, I saw that.”

“What did you see?”

“You’re baiting the delulus again, aren’t ya? The fan you saw off earlier was de~fs in love with you!”

Huh? Delulu… What’s that?

Chihiro says things I can’t understand sometimes.

He seemed excited for some reason, saying things like “You’re such a sinful man!” and “This isn’t fair!”, but he somehow looked like he’s having fun.

He’s got a strange way of showing it, but I can tell he’s happy for me, so I don’t really mind it. I think that’s one of Chihiro’s good qualities.

“Everyone, since today’s plans were disrupted by the sudden accident, the evening lesson is optional. It’s been a while since you last had a day off. It’ll be short, but I hope you enjoy yourselves. Nayuki has secured a space in the changing room for an hour. Is that enough for you?”

Our leader, Raito-san, called out to us, and we decided to call it a day for now.

We went out into town, and started talking about whether we’d all be going out to eat, but when Raito-san asked Nayuki-san if he wanted to eat ramen with us, he was ignored as usual (despite that, he stubbornly continued to trail after Nayuki-san, as he usually does)

Before we realized it, Kuguri-san had already left.

Chihiro called out to Kinari first, “Kinyari~ Do you wanna go for dinner with me and Tao?” he asked. 

“Thank you for the invitation. But I have a prior engagement with Master.” Kinari said and declined.

I wanted to ask him why he was so sure I’ll come to dinner with him, but well, since I was invited, why not?

“Taooo, Kinyari and Chiefy have some business to take care of. Let’s go for dinner together.”

“Sure. I don’t mind. But isn't it a little early for dinner…”

“I mean, sure~ But all I had before our concert was a lil' snack~”

While changing in the space Nayuki-san had secured for us, Chihiro and I got to talking about where to go to kill time. 

The capable Nayuki-san and the kind Chief collected our costumes that were sure to attract attention and said they would take it back to the dorms. Thanks to them, we’re able to go to town dressed lightly.

“Hmm, the arcade? Or Karaoke? Where should we go?”

“Let’s see…”

Just as I was about to finish my reply, I spotted a trio of high school boys walking through the crowd. 

They were laughing with each other, and sometimes pushed each other around, it seemed they got along well.

The navy blue blazer and checkered slacks are one of the usual school uniforms.

… I also used to wear a uniform like that.

And I also used to spend my after school time laughing with my friends like that.

Back then, he also used to ask questions like the ones Chihiro asked me.

I suddenly remembered that.

–– Tuesday, June 29, 1999

“What should we do now? Arcade? Karaoke?”

The one walking next to me is Goz –Souta Gozu– a friend I’ve known since middle school. Neither of us have any distinctive features, and we’re indistinguishable from the rest of the high school students wandering around after school

Though, we’re fine with that.

“I wanna go to the arcade. I wanna play Chrono.” I said.

“Huh? Haven’t we been going only to the arcade lately? My vote’s on karaoke.” 

Goz makes a stupidly cool face and points his finger at me.

People often say this guy and I are similar.

Honestly, we both look quite ordinary, and we often laugh about it.

“But Chrono’s new record was set just yesterday.”

“I get that you like gun games, but you should let someone else have their fun, at least for today. It’s only been a week since the new machines got here, do you even know your own rank? You’re fourth in the whole country, fourth.”

“That’s not first.”

“You’re still one of the Four Heavenly Kings, so it’s fine.”

“Ain’t that Skull Millionaire’s position?”

A loud ringtone was heard from Goz’s pocket while we were pointlessly chatting away.

He took out his silver PHS and after looking at the message that had arrived, he declared, “We’re going for karaoke.”

“Kinari’s coming too. You two should sing a duet, harmony and bass.”

“Ah, if Kinari’s coming, then karaoke’s good...”

Obviously happy with that, Goz typed a reply to Kinari.

Last year, Kinari Azekawa was in the same class as Goz. He’d tag along when Goz came to see me, and we’d start talking.

Goz and I live in the same neighborhood, so we hang out pretty much every day, and Kinari sometimes joins us.

He has fair skin and light colored hair, and as much as I hate to admit it, unlike us ordinary guys, he’s quite good-looking.

But he often misses school.

I haven’t asked him any details, but it seems he’s got some chronic illness.

He’s a good guy, but he seems sorta transparent? I feel like he’s in a different category from me, and it was hard for us to open up to each other at first.

But then we went to karaoke together.

We realized we like the same bands, and I think we became closer because of that.

“Kinari wants you to guess his card again today. He says he’ll get you to reveal your secret this time.”

“Ehhh… Spare me. I don’t even have my cards with me.”

“Isn’t Kinari gonna prepare all that?”

“That’d be scary, why would he put all his energy in the wrong thing?”

We laughed as we talked about it.

Despite his appearance, Kinari is strong-willed and competitive, and seems to have vowed to expose my card guessing secrets. 

“What’s with that?” I used to think.

But it didn’t feel bad that my card guessing, which I only associated with bad memories, became a sort of game thanks to Goz and Kinari.

“Alright, let’s go to our usual place.”

With familiar steps, we headed towards the cheap karaoke bar that includes free time and drinks.

In the sunset after school, Goz and I were both just some regular high schoolers.

We were just ordinary people with no individuality, and no one even knew our names.

Being able to exist like that– 

Was the most comfortable thing in the world for me.

Novel directory: Tuesday, June 29, 1999 / 1 | Tuesday, June 29, 1999 / 2 | Tuesday, June 29, 1999 / 3 | Wednesday, June 30, 1999 | Souta Gozu

Part 1

Location: HAMA House Living Room

Kaede: (Phew… I’m glad today’s job went smoothly.)

Kaede: (Not only was there interest in my proposal, I was also given an invitation to the pop-up store promoting the game.)

Kaede: (I may be excited, but I don’t actually know anything about this “Final Brave” game…)

Kaede: (Is it okay for someone like me to go there?)

Tao: Did you just get back, Chief?

Kaede: Hi, Tao-kun. Yup, I just got done with work.

Tao: Good work. I was just about to make some coffee. If you’d like, I could make some for you too—

Tao: Is this a ticket to FB’s pop-up store!?

Kaede: (FB… Oh, he’s talking about Final Brave.)

Kaede: It is. Our business client today was a game company, and they gave me an invitation to their upcoming limited-time store.

Tao: Huh, that’s like, some crazy luck!

Tao: This event is so popular right now, it’s been sold out for the next 3 months!

Kaede: I didn’t know that…! Was it really okay for them to give me something so valuable?

Kaede: I know that Final Brave is popular, not only in JPN but also globally, but I’ve never played it…

Tao: You’ve never played Final Brave!? How have you lived up till now!?

Kaede: I-Is that really so strange!?

Tao: Um, no– I’m sorry. That’s not it at all.

Tao: … If anything, I’m the strange one for acting like this over a video game at my age.

Kaede: Huh?

Tao: Uhh, it’s nothing. So… Will you go to that pop-up store?

Kaede: I’d like to go, since I was invited, but… I’m worried about whether I should, since I don’t know much about the game. Besides—

Kaede: You seem more interested in this, Tao-kun. So how about I give you the ticket so you can go, instead?

Tao: What, really!?

Kaede: Really. I don’t know much about it at all, so I think it’d be better if someone who can enjoy it properly goes instead.

Tao: W-Well… I am interested.

Tao: It says “Can bring a plus one” here.

Kaede: Huh? Oh, you’re right. I didn’t notice…

Tao: Then, since we can, how about we go together?

Tao: If I go by myself, you might get in trouble next time you meet with those company people…

Tao: And I’m sure you’ll also be able to talk about it to them next time!

Kaede: … You’re right. This will definitely be a good chance for me to learn more about FB.

Tao: Huh, you want to learn more about FB, Chief?

Kaede: Of course I do, since it’s that strange that I’ve lived up till now without playing it once.

Tao: Uuu… You took what I said to heart, didn’t you… I’m sorry.

Kaede: Hehe, I’m just messing with you. I’m really grateful that someone as knowledgeable as you will be coming with me, Tao-kun.

Kaede: It’s a plan!

Tao: Okay. I’m looking forward to it, too!

Part 2

Location: Anime Store

Kaede: Wow… There’s a lot more merch than I expected there to be.

Tao: I know, right! I didn’t know there’s so much official FB merch out there—

Tao: Is that the Hero’s Sword from II!?

Kaede: Is this life-sized? It looks like you can take photos here.

Tao: There are customers of all ages here, and they seem to be pretty evenly split between men and women. Everyone looks like they’re having fun—

Tao: …

Kaede: Do you want me to take a picture of you, Tao-kun? The line’s a little long, but since we’re here—

Tao: No, I’m good!

Kaede: Huh? But there’s a lot of people having their photo taken…

Tao: Anyway, let’s go look further inside! I’m sure there’s a lot left to discover!

Kaede: O-Okay…

-

Kaede: Wow, the stuff here is cute, too!

Kaede: Little trinkets with monsters printed on them, chopstick rests shaped like castles… They all look like they can be used as normal items, it makes me want to buy them.

Tao: Right. But nothing else’s gonna fit in our basket.

Kaede: Woah, when did you get that basket, Tao-kun!? And it’s filled to the brim, too…

Tao: Well, when I saw them, I couldn’t help but get my hands on ‘em. The coaster with the hero’s crest is sorta cute, and the keychain is an amazing reproduction of a monster from III—

Tao: … That’s only part of it, though. More importantly, I want to get a little something for everyone!

Tao: Like, I think Natsume-san would love this Demon King’s Sword muddler. 

Kaede: (Would he…? It doesn’t really fit the image of Yodaka-san I have in my mind…)

Kaede: (Actually—)

Kaede: … Tao-kun, are you holding back for some reason?

Tao: Huh?

Kaede: I think you like FB a lot more than you let on, Tao-kun.

Kaede: If I’m right, I just wish you’d go on about it as you’d usually do. Unless… is there something bothering you?

Tao: It’s not that something’s bothering me…

Tao: I just figured you’d find it off putting if someone my age was so into a video game…

Kaede: Huh!?

Kaede: I don’t care about something like that at all! Your age has nothing to do with your interests, and I think it’s lovely that you have something you’re so passionate about!

Kaede: Besides, it’s fun hearing you talk so enthusiastically about video games, so I wish you wouldn’t let something like that bother you. 

Tao: Chief…

Tao: Thank you. … I think my attempt to act indifferent was so weird that it kinda backfired.

Tao: Alright! From this point onwards, I’ll be putting my all into having fun! Let’s go look into every nook and cranny of this store!

Kaede: Yup, that’s the spirit! I’d also be really happy if you could tell me lots about the series.

Tao: Of course I will! I’ll keep going until you say you’ve had enough! So–

Tao: I’ll go get another basket, too!

Kaede: Whaaa, you’ve got more you want to buy!?

-

Tao: Hoo… I enjoyed this to the fullest!

Tao: Delivery drones sure are convenient. They carry two full cardboard boxes like it’s nothing.

Kaede: You got two whole cardboard boxes!? … You really bought a lot of stuff.

Tao: Yeah. I kept thinking that I’ll definitely regret it if I don’t buy everything now!

Kaede: Right, a lot of these items are exclusive to this pop-up store.

Kaede: But I’m glad you enjoyed yourself till you were satisfied. Alright, let’s go home for today.

Tao: Oh… Can I say one last thing?

Kaede: Hm?

Tao: I know I said I was good before, but—

Tao: I really want to take a picture with the hero’s sword after all…

Tao: So, could I ask you to take it for me?

Kaede: Tao-kun…

Kaede: … Sure thing. Alright, I’m taking it! Give me a smile!

[Snap]

Kaede: How’s this?

Tao: Thank you so much! Ummm…

Tao: Uh, Chief. Can I actually ask for one more thing?

Kaede: Sure?

Tao: I’d like to take a picture together. Is that alright?

Tao: It’ll be a memento of coming here together.

Kaede: Ah, yeah. That’s fine…

Tao: Let’s take a selfie, then. Chihiro taught me how to take one.

Tao: Uhhh, hold it up like this…

Tao: Sorry, Chief, could you come a little closer?

Kaede: O-Okay!

Tao: And… cheese.

[snap]

Tao: Yup, it came out alright. Thank you so much!

Part 1

Location: HAMA House 2F Hallway

Kaede: I’ve been working too much ‘cause the weekend is coming up…

Kaede: (I couldn’t sleep at my usual time and woke up too late…)

Kaede: What should I do today… Ah.

Tao: … If it’s nearby, it’s probably at that place. But to go there at this time…

Kaede: What are you doing, Tao-kun? Research?

Tao: Hey Chief. A new gun game was released today, so I was looking into which stores it’s available at.

Tao: It’s the latest installment in a popular series, so I wanted to line up for it first thing in the morning…

Tao: I overslept because I forgot about it and stayed up playing Anigun with Chihiro.

Tao: Now I’m super late. All the stores are crowded, and I probably won’t be able to play it today.

Kaede: Woah~ … I knew you were really into that Full Dive FPS Chihiro-kun invited you to start playing, but...

Kaede: I didn’t know you’re also into arcade games.You’ve got a wide range of interests.

Tao: I actually prefer the gun games at arcades. Think “Chronos Crisis”.

Kaede: Isn’t that a famous retro game from the Heisei era? You can play it even now? 

Tao: There’s an arcade that’s only got games like this. It’s my favorite.

Kaede: There’s a store like that? Seems interesting…

Tao: We can go together, if you’d like?

Tao: It doesn’t have the latest release I was talking about, but I was thinking of going as a change of pace.

Kaede: Are you sure? Then, I’ll come and refresh myself too!

Location: Arcade

Kaede: Amazing, there’s so many retro games…!

Tao: This place has machines that are pretty much extinct, and they’re all operable. Let’s use them since we’re here.

Tao: Is there anything you’re particularly interested in?

Option 1: It’s gotta be the claw machine

Kaede: It’s gotta be the claw machine. Whenever I see one, I can’t help but peek at its contents.

Tao: I get it. Whenever I see big candy or plushies, I can’t help but want to get them.

Tao: Is there anything you want? I’ll do my best to get it for you.

Option 2: The medal games look interesting

Kaede: The medal game look interesting. But there’s so many of them, it’s hard to pick which to play…

Tao: You can just pick whichever you click with.

Tao: This store’s games are all set at a friendly difficulty, and they let you play for a good amount of time. I think even you could hit a jackpot, Chief.

Tao: It’s pretty much luck-based, but I’ll help as much as I can.

Kaede: Thanks, Tao-kun.

Kaede: But… I think what I’m most interested in is the game you said you like.

Kaede: Look, it’s the one over there, right? Can we go give it a try?

Tao:  I don’t mind, but… I don’t know if you’ll like it or not, y’know?

Kaede: You’re worrying too much.

Kaede: C’mon, it looks like two people can play, let’s try it.

Tao: … Well, it should be fine as long as I don’t have a shotgun.

Tao: Okay. I’ll be 2P then. 

Kaede: Okay. I’m getting kinda nervous… This is my first time playing, sorry if I die immediately.

Tao: It’s okay. I’ll protect you.

Tao: I’ll drive away any enemies that come at you, so leave it to me.

Kaede: (I know this is just about the game, but Tao-kun sometimes says things that make my heart race with such a straight face…)

Tao: Are you ready? … Here we go!

Part 2

Kaede: Sorry, Tao-kun! I missed!

Tao: ‘s okay, no problem.

Tao: Just focus on what you can shoot. I’ll cover you.

Kaede: Thanks! I’ll do my best not to be dead weight!

-

Kaede: Woah, there are so many enemies…! There’s the mid-boss too, which one should I shoot at…?

Tao: Let’s split up.

Tao: I’ll take the boss. Chief, please try to reduce the surrounding enemies.

Kaede: G-Got it. Bring it on!

-

Kaede: (We’re close to clearing the stage, thanks to Tao-kun, but this attack is the most intense so far…!)

Tao: Chief, to your left!

Kaede: Oh no…!? M-My life…!

Tao: As I thought, using a handgun’s pretty tough.

Tao: – No choice left!

Kaede: (He switched to a shotgun?)

Tao: Oraoraoraora~! Don’t you lay a hand on Chief!!

Kaede: !?

Tao: No matter how many grenades you throw at me, they're useless unless they actually hit me! 

Kaede: (Amazing, he’s knocking down so many enemies despite their attacks! In quick succession, too…)

Tao: I’m the strongest one here. Thanks for making yourself an easy target! 

Tao: All that’s left… is to end you once and for all!

Kaede: (Looks like he was lying about having a hard time. He took down the boss in no time…!)

Tao: Tch, it’s over already? They didn’t resist much…

Tao: Ah.

Tao: (I’m done for~~~!!!)

-

Tao: … I’m sorry you had to see that, Chief. Whenever I hold a shotgun, I act up like that…

Kaede: (Come to think of it, there was a big gunfight at the end of that survival...)

Tao: Oh, you must be tired, yeah? I bought some drinks! Would you like orange or apple?

Kaede: Uhhh… Orange.

Kaede: (The sudden change was definitely kinda shocking, but I think it just goes to show how he enjoys gaming above all else…)

Tao: …

Kaede: (Tao-kun looks sorta embarrassed…)

Kaede: You don’t have to worry about it. You were just trying to keep your promise, weren’t you?

Kaede: I wouldn’t have made it to the end if I was playing by myself, so if anything, I should be thanking you.

Kaede: You really are good at this, Tao-kun!

Tao: … If you enjoyed it just a bit, then I’m happy, Chief.

Kaede: Let’s take a break and then try some other games.

Tao: Yeah! What should we do next?

Location: HAMA Center

Kaede: Ah, we played lots~! I had fun!

Tao: So did I

Tao: We hit the jackpot, got souvenirs for the members from the crane game, it was great.

Kaede: I played lots of games for the first time ever, and they were all pretty memorable, but I had the most fun playing that gun game with you.

Tao: We went back and played it a few more times after playing other games, after all. I’m happy you liked it.

Kaede: To think you’d top the national ranking in just one day. That’s Tao-kun for you.

Tao: What are you saying? You also got better with every round we played.

Tao: You probably got a talent for gun games.

Kaede: (... I only made it to the rankings because of Tao-kun. I know I pretty much suck.)

Kaede: (It may just be flattery, but I’m happy he’s praising me.)

Kaede: By the way, when you registered for the ranking, you put on the username “O&A”.

Kaede: Is that the username you always use?

Tao: No, it’s not.

Tao: “O&A” means “Orange & Apple”... It comes from the juices we drank together.

Tao: I didn’t achieve this score by myself. It’s something we achieved together.

Tao: It’s a commemorative name, only for today.

Kaede: … There you go again. Are you aiming at me?

Tao: Huh? What do you mean?

Kaede: Ah well. Let’s go home!

Tao: Yeah. If we’re too late, Chihiro’s gonna start sulkin’ that I’m monopolizin’ you…

CW: Tao's parents' religious fanaticism reaches a Snake-goes-missing-esque (999) climax

Wednesday, June 30, 1999

— Wednesday, June 30, 1999

I involuntarily let out another sigh.

I didn’t go to school today.

Taiki’s fever had gone down, but he still seemed under the weather.

“Tao-nii, enough… Go to school…”

Taiki told me in the afternoon, after his condition had calmed down.

“I already skipped the morning classes, there’s no point in me going now.” I said and stayed home.

And in case you’re wondering, our parents hadn’t come home at all since the night before.

After Taiki fell asleep due to the side effects of the medicine I had given him just in case, I sat alone in the living room, just staring at my phone.

Should I call Goz, or no? Even if it’s by mail, should I apologize? 

“... What am I even gonna do tonight?” I muttered.

I actually had plans with Goz tonight.

About two months ago, while the two of us were having lunch at school, we started talking about King Anglomois’s prophecy, and I told Goz:

“I don’t know what my parents will do the moment July arrives. They seriously believe in that prophecy.”

There are people out there who believe in this prophecy so much that they become desperate, and there are people who vow they’ll spend all their money by the time June ends. There’s even TV specials.

Our generation has been hearing about this prophecy all our life, and even if we don’t believe it, we still feel a vague sense of fear when we hear the words “July 1999”.

I may be a skeptic myself, but I honestly don’t know what will happen to my parents, who believe in it blindly.

“I don’t wanna be home on that day.”

I had complained to Goz, and as if he just had a great idea, he said, “You don’t gotta be!”

“Let’s sneak out in the middle of the night and jump together the moment July hits!”

“Jump…? This ain't New Year’s Eve.”

“It’s cool, maybe the King of Terror will let us off the hook if our feet aren’t touching the ground?”

It was a silly, ridiculous suggestion.

But the way Goz talked about it with so much excitement somehow comforted me. I knew jumping the moment the clock struck midnight wouldn’t help me figure out what to do with my parents, and it wouldn’t alleviate Taiki’s pain.

But seeing Goz smile as he talked about it… I felt as though my problems were so simple that just jumping could solve them.

“Then, let’s do it. If I remember.”

“Huh? What’s that, Tao? You want me to write our plans on your forehead? Make sure you remember.”

It was just a light-hearted promise, so Goz might have already forgotten about it.

Just as I was at a loss about what to do, my phone’s notification rang, and a mail came through.

“Minami-cho Park. 11:55PM. If you don’t come, I’ll beat the crap out of you.”

The mail was from Goz.

A smile spread across my face.

I was happy that Goz remembered our promise, and was trying to suggest we make up.

I was determined to apologize properly for what happened yesterday when we met.

— I haven’t been able to talk about this with you until now, but truth is, Taiki hasn’t been going to school.

I can’t rely on my parents.

What can I do for Taiki?

This time, I’d be honest and ask for advice.

Goz is a good guy, if I explain the situation with Taiki and our parents, I’m sure he’ll understand.

And just like when he laughed and said we should jump, I’m sure he’ll make me feel better this time, too.

I looked at the time, it was already 11:30PM.

There wasn’t much time left until the arranged time, so I just got changed and ready to leave the house.

When I opened my room’s door, Taiki stood on the other side.

“Taiki, you’re awake? How’s your fever?”

“... It’s gone down. Are you going somewhere, Tao-nii?”

I lied and said I’m going to the convenience store.

I figured I’d be home in about 20 minutes, anyway.

I didn’t think I had any reason to tell him about my promise with Goz.

“Do you want me to buy you something? Like an ice cream?”

Just as I was thinking of really stopping by the convenience store, a loud noise rang from the entrance.

“Tao! Tao, where are you!?”

The next sound I heard was our parents’ screaming.

Taiki’s face suddenly stiffened.

They came into the house with heavy footsteps, looking for me. They’ve always been aggressive people, but they’re especially bad today. 

I hurried downstairs, not wanting to get Taiki involved.

“What are you doing here? Don’t yell, you’ll disturb our neighbors.”

When I got downstairs, my parents, who I hadn’t seen for some time, were running out of the living room.

Honestly, their behavior was strange–

Their hair was messy, their clothes were rumpled, and their eyes were bloodshot.

“There you are! Come on! Hurry!”

My mother screamed as she grabbed my arm. She put so much strength that I felt my bones were going to crack.

She pulled me and I stumbled a step forward, my phone slipping out of my pocket.

“Hold on, what are you doing…”

“Hurry! There’s no time!”

It’s okay. I’ll be back in no time.

I didn’t say that out loud, but I tried to convey it with my expression.

I figured that if I resisted, they’d make a commotion and scare Taiki, so I obediently followed them.

I barely had time to put on my shoes, and I was taken to a park near our house. It was a dark place filled with trees.

A huge coffin was placed there.

“By God’s will! As God’s child! You have the right to board this “Ark”!”

“You don’t have to worry, this is a machine created by God that can transcend time by channelling the energy in space. The church inherited this “Ark” from space!”

“No matter how much we paid, they wouldn’t lend it to us, so we brought it here in secret! Mom and Dad don’t mind becoming sacrifices, Tao is the only one who has to go to where God is!”

I couldn’t understand a thing they were saying.

Their eyes weren’t entirely here, but I couldn’t match up their strength–

Before I knew it, I was shoved into the coffin.

“Hey, hold on, I…”

— I made a promise.

And I have to stay by Taiki’s side.

I wanted to say that, but I couldn’t.

My parents closed the coffin’s lid.

Once I heard a loud noise and realized the lid was locked, I blanked out and everything went dark.

What? Are my screw-loosed parents finally going to kill me?

My parents were still making some kind of noise on the other side of the coffin, so I banged on the lid and yelled, “Let me out! Let me out!”

I’m late for my meeting with Goz. 

I don’t have my phone on me because I dropped it when my parents dragged me. I haven’t even replied to the mail.

— I want to meet him, I want to apologize and make up.

… And there’s also Taiki to think about.

If he starts crying…

Just as I thought that, a sharp pain struck my head.

My vision started to falter, and I felt my consciousness fade.

I can’t remember anything after that.

When I woke up –

I was thrown into an unfamiliar city in the future.

Part 1

Location: HAMA House West Room

Chihiro: We have tomorrow off, so TaoTao, let's play Anigun like we promised tonight!

Tao: This is my first time playing a Full Dive FPS…

Chihiro: It's pretty much the same thing as mahorova, so you don't need to worry so much. It's okies ☆

Tao: mahorova?

Chihiro: Wuzzat? You've never logged in that?

Chihiro: It's a virtual space on the net— It's probs easier to experience firsthand than explain~

Chihiro: Alrightie, first we gotta put a patch behind your ear—

Tao: Alright.

Tao: It can measure brain waves and observe movements like this? That's pretty awesome.

Tao: (Things sure have improved since the era of polygon games where you'd put a metal rod in your shoulder if your arm broke.)

Chihiro: All done with the patch? Now you gotta pick an Animal to play as! (1)

Tao: Each animal’s got its own set of abilities and skills, and also different fighting styles, right?

Chihiro: Yeah. Chii always uses the cat. The Field Trickster ☆

Tao: (So Chihiro focuses on speed… In that case, I think a type that can switch between defense and offense depending on the situation would have the advantage over him.)

Tao: (What should I do? Since it's my first playthrough, going with a balanced type and seeing how things progress would be a safe bet…)

Tao: I'll… go with this bear.

Tao: (It's power-focused with high HP stats. Seems suitable for both DPS and tanking.)

Chihiro: You chose carefully~ Nice~! Looks like I won't need to go easy on you ♪

Chihiro: Round 1! GL~ Game Start!!

[Flashing]

Tao: (The scenery's changing…)

Tao: (I'm entering the game's world—)

Part 2

[Flashing]

Tao: Ah… Damn, I lost! You really are strong, Chihiro.

Chihiro: You're strong too, TaoTao! It was your first time playing, but you did real good ♪

Chihiro: You're a gamer through and through. If we keep going at it, Chii might lose…?

Tao: Should we try this multiplayer mode next time, instead of the training grounds? We can play against other users, right?

Chihiro: OFC! Let's co-op as a duo next ♪

-

Tao: … We lost. Sorry, I wasn't much help.

Chihiro: No probs! Chii's just enjoying this without caring if we're winning or losing.

Chihiro: TaoTao… Are you having fun?

Tao: I'm having lots of fun. Actually, we should try again.

Chihiro: Okies. For hardcore gamers, the real challenge’s at the top ♪

Tao: Alright– Let's go!!

-

Tao: Ah~Damn it, we lost! One more time!

-

Tao: I totally messed up my aim… Damn. And we were so close, too… One more time!

-

Tao: O-One more time! I'm really feeling it now...!

Chihiro: W-We're still going!? It's gonna be morning soon, y’know?

Tao: Is it already that late… Sorry for dragging you with me, Chihiro. You can go to sleep, I'll go solo for a while.

Chihiro: You sure...? Chii's heading to sleep first, then. Good night~

Tao: Good night. Thanks for hanging out with me.

-

Chihiro: *yawn*~ Morning… Woah, you're still playing!?

Tao: Morning. I'm starting to get the hang of it. I don't wanna forget what this feeling's like.

Chihiro: Th-That so? I'm glad you're that into it, but still…

Chihiro: Chii's done with breakfast, so I'm going shopping.

Tao: Mhmm. Stay safe.

-

Chihiro: I’m home~

Chihiro: Y-You're still playing!?

Tao: Damn, this guy's good! I'll show you…!!

Chihiro: You've been playing all this time. Isn't it about time for a break?

Tao: I've finally gotten used to the controls, and I'm getting the hang of shooting… Eat that headshot!

Chihiro: Hey, have you eaten? Aren't you hungry?

Tao: Not at all.

[Stomach growling]

Chihiro: Nopes, your stomach's growling.

Chihiro: You gotta put something in your body… That's it!

Chihiro: I've got the tapioca drink Raitin gave me as a gift~

Chihiro: (I'll just hold it up to TaoTao's mouth—)

Chihiro: He drank it all before I could even say “Thirsty?”! Didn't even bat an eye!!

Chihiro: Is… His body seeking the nutrition!?

Tao: Anigun… Is so fun… I wanna keep playing till I die…

Chihiro: Hey TaoTao, let's take a break! Pretty please!

Tao: Shotgun secured— Oraoraora, eat lead!!

Chihiro: You'll starve and die, TaoTaoooo~~!!

Tuesday, June 29, 1999 / 2

“Hey, they added new songs. You guys should sing this one!”

As soon as we met up with Kinari at the karaoke bar, Goz, who was looking at this month’s songs, made a request.

Goz is an oddball that prefers listening to me and Kinari sing instead of singing himself.

I was looking at the booklet that had older songs in it, but Goz quickly loaded a song into the machine with the remote before Kinari and I could agree.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“The song’s about to start, here’s the mic.”

The intro to the song started playing, and Kinari and I were handed microphones and started taking turns singing a song that had been on top of the charts recently without any prior discussion.

Since he’s good at high notes, Kinari mostly sang the high-pitched parts, and I ended up just singing the rest of the song.

When we improvised on the lower harmony, Goz got so excited he started banging the tambourine like crazy.

“He’s so loud. Can he even hear, or is the tambourine drowning out our voices?” I thought to myself, but I found his behavior so funny that I couldn’t help myself and harmonized with the tambourine.

“Ah, that was good. What should I have you guys sing next?”

“You should sing too, Goz.”

“I’m busy picking songs for you two, just thank me.”

“By the way, that tambourine’s so loud.”

“You just want to bang on that tambourine, don’t you?”

As soon as Kinari and I were done singing, we started pointing out Goz’s silly behavior.

This is what our usual exchanges are like. Both Kinari and I find Goz easy to tease, since we get along with him so well.

“Quiet! I need to make you guys shut up. You just wait, Goz-sama will bring you both a special drink from the bar.”

After being thoroughly teased, Goz got up and left the room.

This too is a usual occurrence. Goz creates mystery drinks at the bar by mixing various drinks together and forces us to drink them.

I guess it’s something like a hobby to him.

“What are we gonna do, Tao? He’s gonna make some crazy colored drinks again.”

“We got no choice but to drink them, don’t we?  … It’d be bad for the bar if we left any leftovers”

“You’re such a good guy, Tao…”

Since Goz was taking his time making the drinks, I started looking through the booklet, thinking of singing something.

And then Kinari said, “Oh, yeah, I brought this,” and took something out of his school bag. I thought it’d be a deck of cards, but instead, it was just a cassette recorder.

“Oh, what brand is this?”

“No, my father made this. He likes tinkering with machines, and I remembered he gave me this some time ago and put it in my bag.”

Having a dad that can create a whole cassette recorder is pretty awesome. I wonder what his favorite machines are.

“Your family seems to get along well, Kinari.”

“... Not really. It’s always tense between us.”

When I told him my honest impression, Kinari’s expression got darker, and his eyebrows furrowed just a bit.

Honestly, that shocked me. Maybe because Kinari kinda seems like he’s a being out of heaven, I had assumed he and his parents had the ideal relationship.

But I guess every family’s got its obstacles. I started feeling ashamed of my narrow-mindedness.

“You see, my parents are overprotective. They’re always fussing over me. … It’s really annoying. Though, I guess they do it because my body is weak.”

“... Sounds like a hassle if they keep interfering with your life.”

I tried to lightheartedly go along with it, but honestly, I felt like I completely understood where Kinari’s coming from.

My parents probably interfere with my life more than Kinari’s do with his.

… But they only do it to me.

I have the ringtone turned off so I won’t hear, but I get loads of mails and calls from my parents. I can’t bear with it.

It happens every day.

Right at that moment, I saw Kinari press the record button on the cassette recorder.

“What’re you gonna record?”

I asked without thinking, and Kinari laughed like a kid that pulled off a prank.

“Come on, I want to record your singing. So, what's next?”

I couldn’t hold back my laugh as I picked up the microphone.

“Then you should record your own voice too, Kinari.”

In the end, we picked a duet that we always sing together, and sang away cheerfully as if to forget our parents.

As soon as the song ended, Kinari hit the play button on the cassette recorder. I got a little embarrassed when I heard our singing voices on the recording.

“Do you think Goz will quit asking us to sing if I give him this?”

“Eh… Don’t do that. Please. He’ll use it to tease us for the rest of our lives.”

I winced at Kinari’s rather horrifying suggestion.

And then, Kinari, who was laughing until now, suddenly became expressionless.

“The rest of our lives, huh,” he whispers, and then quietly says to me, “this is a song for the dead, you know.”

 I nodded, realizing that the duet we sang really was meant to be sung for people who passed on, and Kinari turned to face me.

“Hey, Tao, if you were to die tomorrow… What would you want to say to the people you’d leave behind?”

Kinari’s eyes met mine.

At that moment, his eyes… Reflected my figure as though they were mirrors.

I stared back at him as though I was being sucked into his gaze, even though I didn’t really understand the meaning of the words he’d just asked me.

“Hey, you nitwits! Goz-sama has brought you your drinks!”

The door suddenly burst open, and Goz entered the room in high spirits. The glasses he held in both hands were an eerie mix of green and purple, and Kinari and I both grimaced.

“Get lost, go away. Take your drinks and leave.”

“Kinari~ You wanted to drink that bad? Here you go.”

“Woah… What did you put in this? Even the smell is awful…”

I never got to understand what that question meant because of Goz and his insane drinks.

Then, I thought to myself, I’d ask Kinari next time we saw each other.

After singing to our hearts’ content, we went outside and noticed how time had passed.

We got to the station and were about to part ways, but I hadn’t gone through the turnstile. Kinari called out to me with a puzzled expression, “Aren’t you gonna take the train, Tao? Isn’t your house kinda far?”

I froze, not knowing how to respond to that.

Goz had an immediate reply.

“We’re on a diet, so we’ll go home cycling instead.”

“How lame. You should work out instead of dieting.” Kinari said back, but he didn’t delve into the topic any further and walked off towards the ticket gate.

Goz was probably just covering for me. He usually goes home by train, but just as he had said to Kinari, he dutifully followed me to the bicycles rack.

“You should just go back to the train.”

“Going back’s too much of a hassle. Let me ride with you.”

“If we get caught by the cops, we’ll get in trouble…”

I said that, but I was planning to let him ride from the start. Goz knows that I get sick when riding trains, and lied to Kinari for me. But even after doing so, he didn’t ask for any favors, and didn’t start fussing over me.

… If I’m being honest, Goz’s casual acts of kindness have saved me time and again.

When we were starting out middle school and Goz and I were in the same class–

I was horrified that people would find out that I was that fraud boy that showed up on TV in the past.

Wanting to be loved by my parents, I started this trick of guessing cards. While on TV, I was called a genius and a psychic, and my parents believed I was God’s child.

But in the end, I couldn’t bear the pressure of having to keep up the lie, and revealed on a live program that I’m a fraud.

The one thing I hadn’t anticipated wasn’t the harsh criticism I’d receive from society having turned its back on me, but my parents continuing to believe, without a doubt, that I was God’s child.

All that being said, because my puberty started early, and I suddenly grew taller, by the time I entered middle school, no one could tell that fraud child was me.

One day, just as I was feeling relieved about that, Goz suddenly said,

“You’re that psychic kid that was on TV some time ago, aren’t you!? I knew I had seen you somewhere before.”

At that moment, I thought my death was looming right over me.

But instead, Goz went on:

“You revealed it was all fake during a live broadcast, didn’t you? I thought you were, like, super cool!”

… That was completely out of the blue.

I never thought I’d come across the miracle of meeting someone who knew who I am, but didn’t despise me for it.

Goz and I have been inseparable since then.

… I wonder if that’s what best friends are like? I’ve never gone out of my way to confirm it with him, but that’s what I think. Goz knows pretty much everything about me, anyway.

Pedaling was a lot heavier with Goz on board, and as soon as we reached a hill, I groaned a strained, “Get off, man!” and pedaled with all my might.

Goz laughed out loud from behind me and said, “Look ahead and keep going, Tao!” with clearly no intention of getting off.

The hustle and bustle of the station is far behind us, our path is being shined upon by the residential area’s lights, and a dog is barking somewhere. I’m pedaling, and Goz is laughing.

It’s a trivial, pointless, and might in some ways even be a boring, ordinary day.

But I think days like this are the most precious thing in the world.

Being “normal” is a treasure worth more than anything else.

CW: This chapter references Tao's parents' neglect, their religious fanaticism and one instance of a doomsday theory (prophecy)

Tuesday, June 29, 1999 / 3

“I’m home.”

I always get a little nervous when I say these words after I come back home.

I used to worry my parents would come out from inside the house and say something–

And now, I worry what my little brother, an elementary school student who is probably waiting in here… might think.

My house is a strange one.

If I had to put it bluntly, I’d even say it’s abnormal.

I hear the sound of an electronic device coming from the end of the hallway.

That alone tells me that my little brother is the only one in the house.

If our parents were here, he absolutely wouldn’t have come out of his room.

When I looked down at the floor, I saw my brother’s sneakers in the same place I had seen them in the morning when I left for school.

… Looks like Taiki didn’t go to school today either after all.

I felt a little disappointed as I realized that.

No. I had decided to treat him as normal as possible, whether he went to school or didn’t.

… Although I’m not so sure if that’s the right choice to make.

When I entered the living room, I found my brother sprawled out on the sofa, playing on the SNES.

His pajamas were scattered all over the place, along with packets of snacks and instant noodle containers.

Even in this state, our parents wouldn’t even spare a glance at Taiki.

As usual, there’s a 5000 yen bill on the dining table.

Our parents will probably be late again because of a religious gathering. I don’t really know much, but it seems they’re high-ranking members.

“Taiki, what do you want for dinner?”

“Pizza. The usual.”

Taiki answered my question without even looking at me.

The usual would be teriyaki chicken and mentaiko mochi.

I called the pizza place from the home landline and placed the order.

I call them so often that I registered their number as an abbreviated number.

2 is the pizza shop, 3 is the ramen shop, 4 is the soba shop…

I sat on the sofa and made sure to avoid Taiki’s legs, my brother sat up and silently handed me the other controller.

“I wanna play Spitz.”

“I don’t wanna play that with you, you’ll beat me to shreds. Let’s keep playing Poyo Poyo.” He said with no hesitation, so I followed his lead and we started a battle.

For a while, we were both silent, and the only sounds in the room were the sound of slimy characters bouncing and the flashy sound effects of combo attacks.

But I always worry at times like this. Would it be better if I talked to him?

Should I tell him that he should go to school? Or do I want him to tell me something like, “Nii-chan, you should've come back home earlier”?

— It’s been two weeks since Taiki stopped going to school.

I’ve been living my life as normal, but I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

Moreover, I haven’t been able to consult anyone about this. Not even Goz.

“... Did they say anything today?” I couldn’t think of anything else to say, so I asked him that.

“They probably just prayed today too,” was his cold reply, “I don’t think you noticed because you were sleeping, but they were out of their minds when they left this morning. They were saying something about the coming of the end.”

"Oh... Because of King Anglomois's prophecy, I guess."

The world will end on the seventh month of 1999.

They say that's according to a great prophet from ages ago. That prophet is Anglomois, and the prophecy is called The Prophecy of the Great King of Terror.

Because of that, our parents have become more and more fanatic lately.

There are also a lot of TV specials on prophecies that seem to be indoctrinating people into taking them seriously.

Goz, simple-minded as he is, got a bit scared.

But I'm more scared of my parents, who believe in these prophecies and have been losing their minds every day, than I am of the world's end itself.

Ever since  1999 started, they have been saying things like this:

"Tao must be the only one allowed on the Ark."

"Tao is God's child, after all. The chosen one must survive."

... Taiki is usually nearby whenever my parents say crazy things like that.

And every time I think to myself and question their nerve, "How can they say that? I'm not their only child.  Have they really forgotten about Taiki?"

" ... You know the bankbook grandma left behind? I saw mother take it yesterday. That's bad, right. She probably donated the whole amount."

I froze after hearing what Taiki said.

Our grandmother who passed away a few years ago was a decent person. She left the bankbook to our parents on her deathbed and told them, "Use it on Tao and Taiki's education, okay?", I know this, because I saw the conversation happen in real time.

" ... They even put their hands on grandma's bankbook?"

A dry laugh came out of me before I could stop it.

"It's unfair that children can't choose their parents."

"..."

Taiki pouted, but I couldn't say anything back.

On the TV screen, cute, colorful slimes stuck to each other and popped.

"... I can't imagine myself going to high school or anything like that." Taiki whispered.

"High school's... fun."

"Maybe for you, Tao-nii."

"If I fail the entrance exams, I probably won't be accepted." Taiki continued, and I had nothing to say back. I did think that was the case, too.

It makes me frustrated beyond what words can describe.

"Once I graduate middle school, I'm gonna work and save up money. Then I'll start a company that distributes news on the internet. I'll expose everything our parents and their cult has done."

"You need to go to high school to start a company."

"I'll make money by playing games instead of studying."

"There's no job like that. If there was, I'd be doing it."

"You'd be making millions, Tao-nii."

For the first time in a while, Taiki laughed innocently.

As I felt joy and relief, Taiki dropped his controller.

Then, he groaned and clutched his stomach.

"Taiki!"

I dropped my controller and put my arm around Taiki's shoulder.

My little brother's thin body shook, and he was drenched in sweat.

"Does it hurt? Where? Your stomach?"

"... I don't know, everywhere... Like usual, I think."

When I put my hand on his back to soothe him, I could feel his heart beating rapidly through the skin where his spine was exposed.

I quickly picked him up and carried him to his bed.

This is making my head hurt. This isn't the first time it's happened to him.

It happens several times a month, sometimes more than once a week.

I was worried, so I took him to a doctor, but they told me the cause was unknown. The tests were also inconclusive.

Later, they told me it was a psychosomatic illness.

Basically, it was stress.

Every time this happens, Taiki gets a fever. This time was no different.

I tried looking for an antipyretic, but it seems the one we used last time was the last one. I was at my wit's end, and wondered whether I should go out to buy some.

But when I went to Taiki's bedside and placed my hand on his burning forehead, he grabbed the hem of my shirt without saying anything.

Seeing my little brother like that, in pain and with tears in his eyes, I couldn't bring myself to tell him I'm leaving to get some medication.

I started to become aware of my powerlessness.

... Why does Taiki have to go through this?

It'd be better if I was the one ignored by our parents.

If it was me, he wouldn't have to endure this pain.

... I'm cold-hearted. Because of that, I gave up on our parents a long time ago. I don't get so stressed that it'd show on my body...

But I can only say that because, no matter how twisted, I'm "loved" by them. I'll probably never understand how Taiki, whose existence was ignored ever since he was born, truly feels.

"Nii-chan's gonna prepare an ice pack." I said and left Taiki's side. I could tell he was watching me leave with anxious eyes.

I went down to the kitchen on the first floor and put ice in a plastic bag. My heart ached with frustration.

Right then, I heard my phone's carefree ringtone.

"...  Sorry for making you go out of your way to buy medicine. You're a huge help."

I opened the front door and bowed my head.

The call was from Goz. He just wanted to talk about tomorrow's classes and other mundane things.

He noticed I sounded gloomy and asked me what's wrong, so despite hesitating, I managed to ask him to buy some medicine for Taiki.

"C'mon, it's fine. ... Is your little brother okay?"

"It happens all the time... I gave him the medicine just now, so he'll probably fall asleep soon."

The reason for his fevers is his mind, so sometimes taking medicine doesn't fix it. But just taking them seems to make Taiki feel more at ease.

"Hey... This is just something I overhead, but... Is your brother not going to school?"

I let out a gasp. But I was sort of expecting him to ask me about it.

Goz has relatives that live nearby and have a kid in the same class as Taiki. I wouldn't be surprised if he'd heard about it from them.

I fell silent, and Goz took it as confirmation.

"Aren't you gonna tell your parents about it?"

"... There'd be no point."

"But refusing to go to school is just..."

We were supposed to just have a normal conversation.

When I heard words such as 'refusing to go to school' and 'parents', I felt something take over my chest.

I don't know how to describe what I felt. It was something like frustration, or anger.

Whatever it was, it wasn't something that should've been directed to Goz.

But next thing I knew, I was yelling.

"Don't talk like you know what's going on! It's got nothing to do with you!"

As soon as those words left my mouth, I realized I was directing my feelings towards the wrong person, but I couldn't apologize.

Because Goz flinched, and then had an immediate retort.

"I see how it is! My bad for being concerned! Take care!"

He left the room after saying that.

The front door closed with a loud bang.

And at that moment, a wave of regret washed over me.

"What the hell am I saying..."

Goz was just worried.

He may know my parents are strange, but he can't imagine they'd be so awful that they'd ignore that their son misses school or gets sick.

I just sat there, slumped over and clutching my head. I pulled on my own hair.

... I just want to protect Taiki.

I just want to be "normal" friends with Goz.

But no matter how much I try to pretend, I'm not normal at all-- I'm that fraud boy, after all.

For a while, I believed nothing was going to work out.