#title request

In your room, there is this small space between your bed and the drawer next to it, a bigger space than how Jungkook knows people normally set those two items together. That night, they—he and his friends—found you sitting there again, folding in onto yourself, hugging your knees to your chest. Your eyes, they were… Jungkook doesn’t want to call that image to explain it. The only thing he can recall is the ache he felt inside his chest, the remains of which he still bears with his every step. But that night, like every other night, the immense pain stopped him from walking towards you. And that night, like every other night, it was Jimin who ran to your side. It was sweet, affectionate Jimin who cradled you and walked you out of your down-spiraling thoughts. It would never be him. Nobody could ever win against the perfect Jimin, not a coward like him.

“Hey, I need to talk to you.” Jungkook’s voice is nothing if not a whisper of dwindling courage. He had called you thrice before you finally answered. His dumb ass probably doesn’t realize how late it already is. You know the core of the talk he wants to have. Honestly, you’ve been waiting. You both have this complicated friendship—if you’re able to call it that. It was you who started with the small pranks here and there, but something happened and you didn’t feel like responding to his prank anymore, so you stopped. And of course, he got mad. He got mad when you didn’t value his effort. You’d told him to stop too, but he refused, opting to rather explore his creativity in the foul pranks department.

“Y/n?” It feels like forever since he called you by your name like this, and you have the sudden urge to cry and end his call. You didn’t want to answer him in the first place. It was Jimin who told you to. Whose fault it was to even ask for his advice? The moment Jungkook’s name popped out on your screen, you fumbled around for your phone and sent a hurried message to Jimin, half-hoping he’s already asleep so that you can blame him for not answering Jungkook’s call. But Jungkook keeps calling, and Jimin texted you in the end. He said Jungkook has been miserable after that night, as he should be for saying those cruel words about you.

“Y/n, I- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, that night, I was— You- you know me, right? I said stupid words without thinking. I did stupid things without—“

“I don’t think you can execute those pranks you did without thinking, Jeon. And I did know you, but I think I no longer do.” The words taste like bile in your mouth, but those are the truth.

“Y/n, please—“

You hung up. Jungkook should’ve known better. I don’t think you can execute those pranks you did without thinking. True. In fact, he did a lot of thinking for each and every prank he made. He did a lot of effort to rile you into pranking him back, into falling to that silly tradition that you both had not even two months ago. You said that you no longer know him, but it’s all because of you. You just suddenly stopped paying him any attention and went traipsing around with Jimin and Taehyung as if he was not the one who introduced you to them.

You both were not close or anything. You could’ve, if you had talked to him instead of ignoring him as you did. You could’ve become close, and it could’ve been Jungkook on your side instead of Jimin. But no, you acted all closed off or whatever without explaining why. You’d asked him to stop with the prank, but that’s it. You didn’t even give him a second warning; just that once and then you gave up. You gave up so easily on him that it frustrated him, to the extent that it becomes easier for him to spit out ugly words just to hurt you. Stupid, but again he has zero ideas on how to deal with his stupidity issue.

“Yoongi hyung,” Jungkook whispers to the man in front of him. He is currently flipping through a thick book Jungkook can only imagine using as a weapon rather than reading material. “I need your help.”

“Just tell her the truth,” Yoongi says without looking up.

“It’s not—“

“I know it’s about her. You guys weren’t like this before. What changed? You need to control your anger and have that talk with her.”

Jungkook deadpans. “Hyung, how many times have I told you, I don’t have an anger management issue!” The older man only raises his brow, again, without taking his eyes off his book, and Jungkook takes that as his cue to leave.

After what feels like three laps around the school ground, Jungkook finds you sitting on the bleachers with a book in your hand. Honestly, what is wrong with people, all of a sudden they are into reading or what now? You must have noticed his arrival, for you quickly close your book and raise your face to look at him. You must have also expected it would be anyone but him if your expression is anything to go by.

“Hey, we need to talk.”

“There’s nothing—“

“I have something to say, to ask. So please…” Jungkook trails off, but you don’t make any more attempts to escape him. “I’ve been a coward. I am still,” he quickly adds at the sound of your scoff, “I’m sorry… for those bad things I said, bad pranks I played. I went overboard, I know. But Y/n, I would really like it if we can start over. I mean… we were… fine. Back then. It was all fun. But why—“

“You, Jungkook, are such a fool!”

“I know… I have a stupidity issue.” You let out a soft ‘a what?’ at this, but Jungkook keeps going, “So I’m sorry. I’m even sorry for myself. What happened, Y/n?”

And you know exactly what he’s asking, know exactly the answer, and it hurts you that he’s still oblivious after all this time. “Y/n is such a crybaby. She’d go to the corner and cry out of the blue. Why would I ever like someone like that? That would be such a burden. Do you remember that, Jeon? Because I do, word by word.”

Jungkook doesn’t. He doesn’t remember his exact sentences, but he knows he said those ugly words, just as he did a few nights ago. What he didn’t know, until today, is that you’ve heard him. It was the day before Jungkook repaid you for your latest—last—prank, which had half of his head dyed pink. Taehyung had been bothering him about his crush on you nonstop, and Jungkook’s stupid brain was on its lowest performance due to the history test he had earlier and the pressure to top your prank and the constant nerves of being near you. It’s only normal for it to be extremely defensive against Taehyung accusations and teases of how you had that look on you when Jungkook was mentioned; it didn’t need more anxiety from thinking the probability Taehyung suggested. So it did what it does best: vomiting stupid words.

Now looking back, if you had known about that all this time, it becomes clear why you had stopped caring about him and his childish pranks. It all makes sense. “So that’s why?”

From the moment you finished speaking, you can see the gears on his head spurring back to life, can see the realization dawning on his face. Jungkook has his eyes to the ground, his expression grows somber as he mumbles out his question and you feel your heart becomes heavier as he stays silent for the longest minute of your life. His voice trembles slightly when he speaks up again. “I… am so stupid, aren’t I? I don’t even know what to say. I can say I’m sorry and I don’t mean those stupid words, but it doesn’t matter. You’re already hurt.”

“Why had you said it if you didn’t mean it then, Jeon? You know that I don’t just cry out of the blue. Even that night, two days ago, I didn’t cry because I wanted to. I didn’t think of those horrid thoughts because I wanted to. There… There are things that you don’t know, things you don’t care to know. And it hurts me to hear how bothersome or burdensome I am for those people I care about.”

Jungkook can’t bring himself to look at you. His breaths are ragged from the effort to control his emotion and the even way in which he has to speak, as to not blurt out more rubbish from his mouth. “I care. I care to know about those things, about you. I desperately want to know. That’s why I followed Jimin and Taehyung to your apartment that night. But it’s always Jimin for you. I’m just a dumb ass who plays bad pranks and says hurtful words for attention.”

You call his name over and over, asking exactly what he means by that, but he’s too deep in his own thought, carefully picking the words he needs to say to you. “When you stopped responding to my pranks, I felt like you’ve given up on me. I didn’t know it was because of me, my words. Taehyung,” Jungkook scoffs, “he wouldn’t stop going on about my crush on you, so I did the only thing I could think of to make him stop. I didn’t know you would be listening. I’m sorry.” The fact that he just admitted he’d had a crush on you on some point in the past doesn’t escape you, and it somehow sends warmth throughout your whole body.

“I’ve been very annoyed with Taehyung and Jimin ever since. I introduced you to them, you remember? And suddenly I’m not part of the team anymore. And it hurts, too. I still like you, you know? I—“

“You what?” You can’t help but interrupt. There’s no way. “Now you say you like me? You say that it hurts? Then what about me, you dumb ass?!” Jungkook lets out a single ow where you hit him on his chest while your own voice is choked out by your tears. Damn hormones. “I just ignore you and you say it hurts? Imagine being called a crybaby by the person you like? What if I call you a burden? What if I call you pathetic? Because that’s what I am in your eyes, right?”

Jungkook stands still in front of you, accepting the waves of punches that you throw. “What are you saying?” he says slowly.

“What do you mean what am I saying? I’m saying that I like you, too! Why do I like a dumb ass like you?”

“What? You like me? But—“

“I’m tired and sick of being the last and only hope of the family, carrying the responsibility of my stupid, unemployed brothers. Our little pranking tradition was my escapade. But then I heard you said those things. I know it seems too dramatic, but it’s—“

“It’s not. I’m sorry. I should’ve- I should’ve asked or- I don’t know. I’m sorry, Y/n. I swear… I swear you’re none of those things I described you with, okay?” By this time, Jungkook has already had his hands cupping your wet cheeks. “I’m sorry that you have to deal with a dumb ass like me. I’m sorry I said those words, but you’re not bothersome, Y/n. You’re not burdensome or pathetic. If there’s anyone in this school who is pathetic, it would be me, playing horrible pranks just to catch a girl’s attention.”

Your giggle is cut short by a deep mocking voice, “I swear you’re not a burden, Y/n-ah. I’m stupid, I’m pathetic, but I like you.”

“I like you, too,” another voice adds into the conversation, this one is shrill in an attempt to mimic a girl’s voice. “You don’t know how much I’ve complained about you to Jimin and Taehyung.”

“Yeah,” Taehyung replies in his real voice, “I’m so tired of it, I swear, but not like, in a mean way or anything. I love you, Y/n-ah!” He sends you a big heart with his arms and you pretend to come closer to accept his heart before you yell and tickle him with all of your might.

“Jungkook-ah! Go grab Jimin!” you command, but the short man has managed to escape even before you finish saying Jungkook’s name.

“You’re so gonna pay for the unreasonable jealousy that I felt, Park Jimin!”

Emily is a burning fire. You know this. Everyone who meets Emily knows it; a stigma written somewhere in her countenance, in the way she walks or talks, that she will hurt you.

You know this. You do. And you still love her.

The music pulses in the club, so loud that you can feel it as much as hear it. Echoing in your skin like an outside heart, Emily’s arms go up yours. Her hands, manicured to perfect stiletto points that have never hurt you as much as her words have, grip your shoulders tight. You wonder if she knows how tight she’s grabbed you, you wonder if she ever fears losing you.

She leans close, too close for comfort, hot breathe fans across your skin and you can taste the levels of drunk she is from here. “I love you,” she says, but it’s so loud it’s like a whisper.

You shiver under her arms and her gaze. It’s a lie. Tomorrow won’t be like this. Tomorrow will bring sobriety, and the horrible hangovers she gets after nights like these. Tomorrow will burn you just as much as tonight. Like a flame, it’ll crawl into your skin from her lips. Every kiss bringing you closer to death.

Emily grinds against you, and she knows where to touch, where to make you give in.

No one is good enough for you, she sighs into your ear, not even me. She licks a heavy, wet stripe from your jaw to almost your eye, too inebriated to judge. And even you know how fucking pathetic it is when a broken moan tears from your throat.

She just wants to fuck, you try to remember. You try to think of the ash in your mouth as she leaves every morning.

How you allow yourself to be burned for Emily and her need for you. Only her need. Never yours.

Emily cups your face and brushes her lips against yours. Her perfectly soft lips deepen the kiss, crushing your chapped lips under hers. But it’s a sweet crushing. It doesn’t hurt, only grounds you to this moment.